What are you doing the day before your wedding?

ellen82

I was just wondering what you are planning on doing the day before your wedding? Or what did you do? From what my BMs have told me and my MOH they have all spent the day with the bride, getting nails, done, helping etc.

My sister was chatting with me and I told her the idea of the groomsmen telling me that they would all set up the venue (its an hour away and we have to bring everything  up) and the girls should relax and then come to decorate and then do the rehearsal (everyone has offered to help us set up before the rehearsal dinner-we are all staying at the venue).

I had the plan of taking all my girls and the two mothers to their favourite thermal bath spa while the guys do the heavy lifting. When I told this to my sister she said, oh, I guess I will have to take the day off. This caught me off guard (not because I was upset or anything) because through my bridal party and my sister, they always spent the day before the bride (so I assumed that was the tradition) but I told her: oh well, no if you don’t want to, that is OK. I will still give you gift certificates for the spa and whomever wants to join can, and the others can just come later. No worries!

So what did you do or what are you planning on doing? Is my idea okay (as long as I keep it optional) ?

bablingbrooke

I have never spent the day before the wedding doing "bonding" stuff with the bride, and it's not how I spent the day before my wedding.  I'm actually sitting here trying to remember what I did do but frankly everything before the rehearsal is kind of a blur.  

This is something that movies make seem like the "norm" but I think it's case-by-case.  I think it's fine to let them know this is what you're planning if it's not mandatory, but I do think it's a little unrealistic.  In this economy it's hard for people to take vacation days with short notice--two of my BMs couldn't take the day off before the wedding and couldn't even make it to the rehearsal; they drove up the morning of the wedding from OOT.

ellen82

Ok thanks. I dont really know and I am only coming from experiance of what I heard from them (as in what my sister has done for other bridal parties) and what they did for other wedding parties-so I guess I just assumed.

I think I will still go for the plan because I do think its a nice way to relax but I am not going to expect the girls to take a day off because I said so! I think i am just going to tell them that I have these gift certificates and they are welcome to join as a way to relax but its not mandatory.

I am glad that the guys want to do the heavy lifting

mbcdefg

I would absolutely keep anything optional surrounding your pre-wedding plans. I don't think it's bad to say, "Hey, I was going to go to the spa/nail salon the day before the wedding, if you want to come along," but I wouldn't go nuts setting up a formal event or party surrounding it.

As for what I did ... I took the day off work, and MH was off the week preceding our wedding anyway. I got my nails done (MOH and BM got theirs done separately, on different days) and I went to a bakery to pick up the cupcakes for our rehearsal dinner. I don't remember what MH did during the day. We did the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner that night. MH had dropped off the ceremony and reception stuff earlier in the week since he had the time (our venue set things up for us, we didn't need to do it). 

I'd never heard of so many pre-wedding things before the Knot, beyond a bridal shower and a bachelorette. I knew that some brides and bridesmaids got their hair and makeup done together the morning of the wedding, but I'd never heard of a pre-wedding day spa party benig a "tradition." Honestly, if I have a lot to do the day before a big event (or if I just want a day to chill out if I know the next day will be looonnnnggg), I don't really want to spend time with even my best friends.

Don't worry too much about it. Do what you want to do, hang out with people who would like to go, and don't sweat it if other people would rather spend the day before your wedding doing other stuff. It's nothing personal, I'm sure.  

aerinpegadrak

We did a DW in Las Vegas on a Friday.  Most of my family got in sometime Wednesday, while his guests mostly arrived Friday morning.  So we drove as far as the CA/NV border Wednesday night, then Thursday morning drove the rest of the way in to Vegas.  This was pretty much the order of events:

* Tried to check into our hotel
* Met up with my brother, sister, their spouses, and my dad at the food court
* Wandered the strip a bit, headed over to the new Aria hotel to scope it out, wandered back to our car
* Tried again to check into our hotel
* Had lunch with my mom and stepdad
* Finally got checked in
* DH went with dad and brother to pick up tuxes and beer, I pretty much stayed in the hotel room working on a few DIY projects that needed to be finished up and coordinating with a few people who were arriving late
* Everyone who was in town came up to the suite for pizza and beer
* DH went down to the bar with the BM and his wife for a drink and a cigar while I took a shower
* Sleep

Basically, we didn't really have anything planned (except for the pizza and beer) and sort of played it by ear.  I've been in weddings that were horribly over-scheduled, and we didn't want that at all, so we just relaxed and spent some time with the people who were around.  I've never been a fan of the pre-wedding slumber parties as a bridesmaid, so I didn't put any of my girls through it, and it was just DH and I in the suite by the end of the night.  My non-family bridesmaids arrived late Thursday night, so I didn't see them until Friday morning.

suz62984

Don't expect that everyone will be able to come and do the "bonding" stuff. If they can than that's great but I know not everyone could attend if I did something like that. One BM and my mom offered to help run errands with me and setup the venue the afternoon before. I am working the morning before the wedding and running errands that afternoon. I plan on doing my nails the Wednesday before.

frogurt814

My mom, MIL, H, and I decorated the reception venue the day before the wedding.  MIL offered to pay for me to get my nails done so she, SIL, my mom, and me went and got manis.  Then the rehearsal dinner was that night.

I was pretty busy the day before the wedding running around finishing up little things (like buying a guest book, toasting flutes, flower preview, etc.)

If I were you, I would say "I have an appointment at XX time at XX spa to get XX done. If you want to join me, let me know and I will make an appointment for you."  Definitely just make it optional.

quotequeen

I don't expect any of my BP to be available prior to the time of the RD the evening before.  They are all coming from out of town, so if I expected them to be there that whole day they would probably have to travel the day before, which I just don't think is reasonable.  I have told all of them that I hope they can make the RD that evening, but if not, it's totally fine.  As long as they are there for the wedding itself, I consider anything else to be extra.  I don't care much for spa stuff myself, so I won't be doing that.  FI and I will run around doing whatever errands are left to do (the wedding is OOT for us too so we won't be there until the Wednesday before), and if there's nothing left to do, we will hang out and relax.  After the RD I may go out with some of the people, since I'm not having a real bach party.

[Deleted User]

I went to the cabin/venue early the day before to meet the guys setting up the tents. Once everyone else got their (H, family, etc) we decorated and did the rehearsal. Pretty much the entire day was dedicated to decorating and running around for the final preparations, like paying for the cake. we stayed there that night, and got up early to do the final stuff, setting up food, cleaning off the tables and chairs.

It definitely wasn't a day of bonding amongst the girls. I had shiit to do, no time for play time.

AdeleDazeem

I plan on sitting on the beach (or next to the pool) with an adult beverage.  Anyone is welcome to join me. 

ehathewa

My mom, sister, and I are making the bouquetts, corsages, etc. in the morning.  In the afternoon we are going to do our nails and do anything else that I forgot to do... I am going to Tivo some Say Yes to the Dress and other girly shows in case we hve downtime. 

megk8oz

We had our RD 2 days before the wedding, so I didn't even do that, hahaha. Our wedding was on New Year's Day, and we really didn't want to interfere with anybody's New Year's Eve plans by having it the day before.

The day before the wedding, DH and I spent most of it packing and getting stuff ready for the HM (We road-tripped to Disney and had to leave the day after the wedding ... we knew we'd be too tired and forget something important if we left anything to take care of the day we left). So if we weren't packing, we were making 500 trips to Rite Aid for last minute travel supplies.

I don't even know what my BMs were up to for the majority of that day ... at around 4pm that day my little sister (MOH) called me up saying she wanted to take me for a mani-pedi. Had she not called me, I had been planning on going by myself at around 5, but we didn't have a set appointment for it (The place we go to is very walk-in friendly). While we were there, my older sister wound up randomly showing up to get her nails done, so the 3 of us did do that together, but we didn't plan it.

After nails, DH and I went to my mom's house and just spent a "quiet" night (If there is such a thing with them, hahaha) with my family eating pizza with my family and watching the ball drop.

Like the PPs, I just had way too much stuff to do that day to concern myself with "bonding time". I think it's a nice gesture to just say "Hey, this is want I'm doing that day if you wanted to come, too", just try not to get all upset if people can't make it for whatever reason.

HisCB

the plan:
morning: finish decorating cupcakes for wedding
early afternoon:rehearsal
after that: RD = pizza at our home theater/shop (wedding "venue")
early evening: anymore final set up
late evening: spa fun at home with my girls and oot SIL

fiance will sleep at his parents house (on the same property as our apartment and wedding location) i will sleep in our apartment with my MOH. my brother, his wife and some of their 6 kids will be staying with us also.

becgrose

I think I would want to help do the heavy lifting, but I'm a different breed of animal. Not in a controlling way, but I prefer to be a part of things! 

I have no idea what I will be doing, but I am pretty sure it won't be at the spa (honestly, I am hoping I won't have to be at the office!!). One of my BM is still in high school, so she will be in class (even though she will try to beg out of it) the day before, and at least the morning of the day of. 

I'm sure there will be centerpieces to finish (I'm looking at fresh fruit) up, driving to the airport to pick up out of town guests, etc. More power to the women able to take a relaxing day off! 

cuddleberry

Just hanging, spa, movies, trip out perhaps.

littlemisssara

My plan for the day before:
Go get nails done with whoever wants to join me, visit with fiance/family, go to church, come home and relax with the girls - movies, comfort food, and something to help me sleep! lol.

I just wanted it to be real chill. Our wedding is on a Sunday, only one of my girls work and she'll be coming in from OOT on the Wednesday/Thursday before so they'll all be available to spend the day with me getting stuff ready and relaxing, Maybe moving the last of my stuff over to our place before we're gone for a week and a half!

sassy1782

We are getting married on a cruise ship before it sails, so the day before I'll be packing for the honeymoon and making sure I have everything together to take on the ship for the wedding (dress, shoes, flowers, etc). Then hopefully I can do nails after so I don't mess them up which I'm prone to do.

From my experience with 2 of my sisters weddings the day before was spent running last minute errands and setting up the reception site before going to the rehersal.  We did nails two days before, but we did do as a group.

bexx246

I'm actually super excited about the days leading up to my wedding.  My MOH and I are both taking Thursday and Friday off before the wedding on Saturday.  We are going to spend Thursday running all of the last minute errands, and then I am spending the night at her house. After Thursday night I plan to have NO more stress or ANY wedding related things to take care of.  On Friday we are having a full day at the spa before we get ready for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.  Friday night all the bridesmaids and I are spending the night at my MOH's house.  In my circle we treat weddings as a huge deal and try to spend a lot of girl bonding time together. I'm super excited about it!

slr31

We're probably going to keep it casual and as stress free as possible. The next day is already going to be super stressful and structured enough. We have to bring all our extras and centerpiece stuff to the venue, and we're going to spend time setting up for it. Also, the final payment is due  =/     After, I'm probably going to get a mani and pedi, and we're probably having our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner that night. Then I'm kicking FI out from our apartment that night and having my girls stay over, lol.

CaseyandSalley

Im very organized Ill have everything ready to go probly a month out. So the day before will probly be a spa day and if the girls wanna join me they can.Just relax, no rushing
 I do not wanna spend my wedding day running around on last minute stuff. Im tooo organized for that really

CassaundraN

I'm finishing baking fall-themed cookies for favors, checking into my hotel, getting a work-out in and then having rehearsal. I didn't want to have to rush myself around trying to fit more stuff in. It's a 5pm ceremony so any of the girls who want to are joining me for manis and pedis and some light breakfast refreshments around 11:30am. Everyone's coming from out of town so I tried to keep things as simple as I could!

courtnstephen

The men attending the wedding, the groom and groomsmen are playing in a golf event Friday morning.  All the women and the guys who don't play golf are going to the beach (the wedding is on Isle of Palms outside Charleston, SC).  We are all just having a fun relaxing day before the rehearsal at 4 and the family cocktail party and then rehearsal dinner to which everyone attending the wedding is invited. 

CarissaLonnie

I am driving the 2 hours from the house to the town where wedding is....picking up the linens to avoid delivery and drop-off fees, getting the food and drinks into coolers and fridges and decorating tables at hall. Oh, and meeting with flower lady to help her make a special part of my flowers called a haku lei (from Hawaii, she has never made one.  I am going to show her how-she gets new skill, I get flowers for it for free!)
After all that, I am hoping to get a massage and then have a slumber party with all the girls-moms, daughters, friends, etc that can come to the hotel! I don't really want to go out that night and whoop it up.  Would much rather spend the evening with the family and friends that live far away!
Since this is a DIY wedding, I expect it to be a busy day but I have lots of good friends and family to help out. And styaing busy will keep my mind off of being nervous or that I haven't seen my guy in a day or two and won't see him until hopefully his mouth drops open!!

CapeBoundBride

Prior to my close friends' wedding last year, we all spent the day running around with our heads cut off. The bride had come down with the flu...my SO's granddad was in the hospital; it was a bit chaotic. For our wedding, I'm hoping I will be able to spend the day before with my SO, perhaps at a spa near our location.