cultural mish-mash + the "other woman"

sylvialoha

I hope I'm posting this in the right spot I'm ABC.
We're planning very tiny destination wedding of just our families bc F's famliy is in Europe and mine in the US.  It will probably be the only time our families will ever meet.  Problem is, his family=no english, my family=no french.  Should we try to find an officiate to speak both french & english?  I'd like to make it as comfy as possible for everyone.  Any ideas for breaking the ice?

Also, F's parents are divorced and there is a gf (reason4the divorce).  F detests the gf but wants his dad there (dad always w gf)... gulp....

 Does anyone have any suggestions or have been in similar situations for their weddings?

ring_pop

It would definitely be a very sweet gesture for you to find an officiant who can speak both languages, and have parts of your ceremony in both languages as well. Are you both fluent in both languages? Maybe you could say your vows in English and have him say his in French, and have a reading in French and one in English.

Unfortunately, etiquette dictates that you must invite his father's GF if you're going to invite his father. Think about it - if you were invited to a wedding (a destination wedding, no less) without your fiance, would you go? Unless you have reason to believe that someone will cause major drama, you'll just have to trust everyone to be adults and act civil.

I don't have many suggestions for breaking the ice, but I wouldn't worry too much. If people want to mingle, they will, and if they don't, they won't (even if they speak the same language). Maybe teach each family a few basic phrases in the other language so that they can at least greet each other.

sylvialoha

thanks ring_pop, I know deep down it's the right thing to do but.. realistically, is it too much to expect fo rthe 3 of them to get along  (I can understand it would be much easier in a wedding of 100 where we'd be able to seat them at different tables than a wedding of 10.)
Has anyone ever smoothed their way out of a sticky situation such as this?

jenandcris

I agree with ring_pop completely.

Many of my/FI's family members can't speak English... which is my/FI's common language. So we're having our pastors (yes, plural- there will be 3) translate the scripts into English, Cambodian, and then Spanish. It's complicated, but we want everyone to be understand.

I don't know if FI's parents + gf will get along per se, but I should hope they at least act civil toward one another.

And music is also a common denominator! Maybe you can play music that you think both sides will have heard? Everyone knows that you dance at weddings.

sylvialoha

3?  Wow..  was it difficult to find a pastor who could speak Khmer?  I've been looking for an officiate that could speak french but so far no luck..

I hope they will be civil.  More importantly, I hope they come. We're thinking of changing to a resort so they have room to "disappear" a bit.  I'll just keep my fingers crossed...

Music is a great idea!  I was also thinking to include some english-french travel dictionaries as part of the welcome basket and we're including fortune cookies that will be printed in chinese on one side and french/english on the other

jenandcris

My two pastors speak Cambodian and English respectively. And FI's pastor speaks Spanish exclusively, with a bit of English.

I wouldn't stress if I couldn't find a French/Chinese/English speaking officiant though.. if anything, you can have the programs written in French (or Chinese, whichever you find) so your guests will understand the gist?

And the OOT bags' dictionary and fortune cookie's a really cute idea! GL!

jenandcris

And I just decided on both my pastors because it fits our "three" theme... I'm pretty sure that the number "three" is a lucky number in chinese.