Jewish Weddings

Plain wedding band for ceremony help

Hi girls! I mostly just lurk on this board but I have a question - FI and I met with our Rabbi last night and I am super excited because he really seemed to understand how we want our ceremony.The only thing that I was unaware of was needing a plain wedding band for the ceremony. He explained the tradition and I understand but my wedding band has diamonds...The problem with getting a second band for the ceremony is that I have a bad contact allergy to silver and most other metals - I can wear gold or platinum. I don't want to buy an expensive band just for the ceremony.Should I talk to the rabbi and see how strongly he feels about having a plain band? Or try to borrow one a plain band? Or suck it up and buy a gold one?TIA!!

Re: Plain wedding band for ceremony help

  • edited December 2011
    Hi there, Most rabbis are sticklers for the plain band rule, but if you are allergic to silver and don't want to spend the money on a costly band you'll never wear, why not just borrow one from someone for the ceremony?  If your parents or your FI's parents are happily married and have plain bands, it might be a nice good luck charm to borrow one of theirs, or you could borrow one from a grandparent or another happily married relative.  It doesn't have to match, as most likely, their bands would be yellow gold (and I'm assuming that yours are white gold or platinum); you can just wear it for the ceremony and have your FI put your diamond band on your finger in the Yichud room.Another note: technically, your FI has to buy the band, so he could "buy" one from a relative for a penny or something like that.  You could even make it into a nice family tradition - a "family" band of an older relative that all brides don for their ceremony.Good luck and mazel tov on your upcoming wedding,Dina
  • Danaz1Danaz1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    we had one that belonged to his grandmother. Technically it has to belong to your fiance and be worth some sort of value but most rabbis are liberal on that point. I would imagine that the rabbi would want you to have a plain band. The band that I wear had diamonds on it too so I only wore that for the ceremony.
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  • edited December 2011
    Most jewelery stores have 10k gold bands (white and yellow) for about $60. I would either invest in one or do what pp suggested. Personally, I have a diamond band and a plain band. I thought I would only wear the diamond band but I am really attached to the plain band (because that's the one my DH gave me in our ceremony) and wear it usually on my right hand. Also, when we travel, I plan to only use the plain band. HTH
  • VoltinxiVoltinxi member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ooh good point about travel.Thanks everyone!!!
  • katommkatomm member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Are you allergic to palladium? They are fairly inexpensive as well and close to platinum. This is what I'm getting for the ceremony since my band has diamonds. I also plan on wearing the plain one when traveling or when we're on the boat on weekends.
  • VoltinxiVoltinxi member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hmm I don't know! I will look into it! Thanks!!
  • SheBearSheBear member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I ran into the same problem; I ended up finding a beautiful, thin, hammered white gold band on Etsy for about $50. It's awesome and unique. We'll use it for the ceremony, and afterwards, I'll wear it on my right hand.
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  • edited December 2011
    keep it simple and to the point, and he will understand your sincerity. explain your allergy and budget and see if you are allowed to borrow one. good luck!
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