June 2012 Weddings

Fuming!!!!!! (vent obv...long)

So I got engaged last Christmas and booked our date and venue right after the new year.  My cousin got engaged at the end of January.  She was living in Florida and recently moved back north.  She was originally thinking she was going to get married in Fall 2011.  She said it might be spring but she would steer clear of June 30th.  Well, she is having her wedding April 28th.  It's not that close, but for our out of town uncle it sucks for him that he either has to make a decision as to which wedding to attend or to drive up for both.  My dad happened to talk to him on Christmas and he said he plans on coming up for both....great, I was happy!

Well, a few mins ago I was talking to my aunt on facebook (the one who's daughter that is getting married).  I asked her when the shower was so that I could put it on the calendar since the next few months are starting to fill up.  She said it's April 1st.  THE SAME EXACT DAY AS MINE!!!!  Seriously, I'm pissed.  Before my mom booked my shower she asked my aunt if my cousin's was booked yet and she said no so my mom told her when mine was going to be to avoid this.  Then my aunt goes and books the same freakin day!

Now here's a little background on how this family relationship has been.....

1.)  This cousin's sister had a baby and for the baby's first birthday they invited all friends and few family (including my parents, me and FI, my brother and his FI).  They didn't invite my great aunt and cousin who were VERY close with my aunt (dad's sister).  They were so hurt.  My cousin even had the nerve to ask me to take the invitation off my fridge since I was having them all over for a scentsy candle party last December.  I said I wouldn't take the invite off the fridge (they knew about the party anyway).

2.)  In September my mom was having a Lia Sophia party (on a Sunday) and invited them. They said they couldn't come because they had a bunch of wedding things to do that weekend when my cousin was here for the weekend and that they had to go get BM and FG dresses that Sunday because there was no other day to go. As luck would have it I had to go to David's Bridal on Friday to pick up a BM dress for my friend's wedding and guess who was yelling my name in the parking lot....them! I wouldn't have even noticed them unless they were calling me. They blew their cover.  And it doesn't stop there. By Saturday my cousin put on her FB that everything wedding related had been done for the weekend. They could have decided to come but didn't.  That same great aunt and cousin came and couldn't believe the excuse they gave. 

My dad was pretty upset at their excuses for the Lia Sophia party and the 1 year old's birthday party.  I called him to tell him what just happened and he's furious and said that mine's been booked since the summer and paid for and there's no way it's getting changed.  My mom is going to be in tears when she finds out tomorrow.  I KNOW that the family that has been excluded will definitely choose mine over hers because they have excluded them for their parties and we always include them, and therefore they know when my shower is because my mom told them at the Lia Sophia party.  But it's still not fair to put them in that position.  And it's also not fair to me or to the cousin who is getting married because it's neither of our fault.

Thank you for listening to my rant and hope it wasn't too confusing.  I'll update tomorrow after I talk to my mom about it. 

Re: Fuming!!!!!! (vent obv...long)

  • Sorry for the drama that you cousin had cause. I hope it works out. I know I wouldnt change my Bridal Shower date. I would also invite my family, those that come will enjoy. Those that dont will still give a gift. But HOW RUDE
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  • It wasn't very smart of them to pick the same day of the shower.  Hopefully they were just absentminded in picking the same day as you and didn't mean any ill will.

    As far as your Lia party goes, maybe they were just trying to not hurt your feelings by saying they just didn't want to go.  I hate going to those parties because I always feel pressured into buying something I don't want and can't afford.  They could feel the same way.

    I would say that since you have treated family members well, they will do the same for you, and just have your party as is and enjoy it.
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  • That seems really late for her to have her shower!  I would try to talk some sense into her...and if that is a hopeless cause, then make sure your shower invites get sent out early! :)
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  • wow what a witch, if your mom informed her of the date then it was pretty obvious. I would talk to your cousin & see if her mom will move the date then get your mom to send out invites asap before the aunt does.
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  • That's just awful! FI's family has lots of weddings next year, too. His cousin is getting married 2 weeks before us on the opposite side of the country, and his sister is getting married 3 months after us. We had to choose one wedding to attend (obviously his sister's), as we can't afford to fly out twice in light of all our own wedding expenses. We may not even have a honeymoon next year because of all the wedding events. We know that FI's cousin's entire family probably won't even make it out to our wedding because of her wedding, and they know we won't be making it to her's. That's just the way plans work out sometimes.

    As far as the shower date conflict goes, that really stinks! Even though your mom told your aunt that your shower is April 1 and she booked the same date, she may have just forgot. Some people get so wrapped up in their own lives that they don't think about other people or the details of other people's lives. You should talk to your cousin and your aunt about the situation before you start a war.
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