Schizophrenic Wedding

kaitlyn142

I don't suppose anyone else finds themselves having a ceremony and reception that may as well be light years from each other in terms of theme?

I *love* the vintage, shabby-chic look. When I picked out my lavender BM dresses, my ceremony dress, and my colors of lavender and sage, that was what i was going for.

The problem is my reception. I'll be wearing a bright red and gold reception dress. We're going to have a red signing silk instead of a guest book. It's going to clash horribly with my lavender BM dresses, but whatever.

I'm trying to look up flower inspirations for my bouquet, but I keep getting caught between matching my ceremony or matching my reception. It's too late to change the BM dresses, and the reception dress is the one thing that makes FMIL happy (suggested long after the fabric and patterns for the BM dresses had been purchased and cut. So much for trying to be proactive!).

Ideas?

For the record, my reception dress will be something like this:http://www.vinshopusa.com/img/vs070527.jpg

mbishop7

Umm.. why is your reception dress red and gold? Why is your FMIL so concerned? That does seem like it's really going to clash.. If I were you, I would skip the reception dress (or change it to match YOUR wedding) and go back to what you like - the lavender and sage. What's the deal with your FMIL and the red and gold? Is it a traditional thing?

kaitlyn142

It's a traditional Chinese dress. FMIL was born and raised in Taiwan, only moved to the US when she was older. There is so very much of the ceremony and such that I refused to budge on (location, having a Catholic ceremony, etc), that this was the one compromise that I was willing and able to make.

melfacto

Personally I would not worry about it not matching, you are wearing this dress as a tribute to your FMIL herself, I personally if a guest at your wedding would never think that this gown clashed with your BM, considering the sentiment behind you wearing it! BTW it is a gorgeous dress, I have a friend that did the same thing to honor her FI father...

mbishop7

Ohhh okay I get it. Actually, I've been to a half Taiwainese ceremony (bride was Taiwainese) but they had an American wedding. I also was a bridesmaid in a Catholic wedding last summer so I can see that side too. 

Well, red is traditional? She won't budge if you explain that it clashes? I can see that it's traditional and I think guests would get it and think it's kind of neat really to change into that for the reception. For flowers, use your BM colors because you won't really use flowers in the reception. I would decorate how you would decorate for the wedding normally, it's just you that changed and you're unique but it's for tradition and I don't think people would mind that.

Good job working with her! I don't think I could do it honestly. But I think it'd look cute!

kaitlyn142

Believe me when I say it was the easiest compromise. It took her mind off the fact that we are having a Catholic ceremony (she's a Born Again. I'm pretty sure she'd rather us have a pagan ceremony than a Catholic one).

I really don't mind clashing with the BMs. I'm just having trouble making decisions on everything else now. But yeah, you are right, I should match with the BM dresses.

kelsey+brandon

I think if your dress for the reception is red and gold for a custom/tradition, it's not necessary to match it to everything else. I also don't think you need to match your guestbook to the reception. If I were you, I would have the reception and ceremony match and then just happen to have a red guestbook and your red and gold reception dress.

sweetcanadian1979

My aunt had a vietlemese wedding. She wore the traditional white dress for service & supper & first dance. Then she changed into the traditional "chinese" wedding dress, similar to the one you showed. It pleased both sides & did not confuse guests because she showed up at the reception in her wedding dress, she also had her MOH (only attendant) change to traditional dress as well (attendant wasn't asian) in order for them not to clash.

I think it will be fine, people will think it is sweet that you are incorporating their traditions into your wedding, after all it is your groom's wedding as well.

As for the question at hand....... sort of, we are having a chic modern catholic ceremony with full ballgown, the reception will be totally made up....... but we are having bbq on hard paper plates (chinette) for supper, no one will expect any different. I am a high class snob (b*tch) with a poor man's salary & i host awesome bbqs in the summer so they will think nothing of it.

doeie04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_schizophrenic-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:3e5b49d3-4502-46eb-b8d5-b40ea9f18b2fPost:ce7ed892-5e95-4cda-81e2-ca8c5b555b16">Re: Schizophrenic Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I think if your dress for the reception is red and gold for a custom/tradition, it's not necessary to match it to everything else. I also don't think you need to match your guestbook to the reception. If I were you, I would have the reception and ceremony match and then just happen to have a red guestbook and your red and gold reception dress.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. Stick with your original idea for the reception.

doeie04

As for the flowers, I would match them to the wedding and recepiton, but not to your dress. Can you go with a cream and pale yellow or something that will look okay with red? If not, you won't be holding your flowers at the reception, so it will be fine. (I am assuming. You may have them on the table, and in that case, you want them to go with your decorations.)

edw7479

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_schizophrenic-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:3e5b49d3-4502-46eb-b8d5-b40ea9f18b2fPost:ce7ed892-5e95-4cda-81e2-ca8c5b555b16">Re: Schizophrenic Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I think if your dress for the reception is red and gold for a custom/tradition, it's not necessary to match it to everything else. I also don't think you need to match your guestbook to the reception. If I were you, I would have the reception and ceremony match and then just happen to have a red guestbook and your red and gold reception dress.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]
Agreed!

lindseyann410

I think it's great that you're doing the traditional red dress!  

As far as flowers go, white flowers would work well with both the lavendar and red dresses.  Do you already have your centerpieces picked out?  You could use vintage gold or gold leaf vases or candle sticks to bridge the gap between the two styles.

kaitlyn142

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_schizophrenic-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:3e5b49d3-4502-46eb-b8d5-b40ea9f18b2fPost:311143f6-4452-4a52-b2af-4b6b596181c7">Re: Schizophrenic Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's great that you're doing the traditional red dress!   As far as flowers go, white flowers would work well with both the lavendar and red dresses.  Do you already have your centerpieces picked out?  <strong>You could use vintage gold or gold leaf vases</strong> or candle sticks to bridge the gap between the two styles.
Posted by lindseyann410[/QUOTE]

I like this idea!

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_schizophrenic-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:3e5b49d3-4502-46eb-b8d5-b40ea9f18b2fPost:ce7ed892-5e95-4cda-81e2-ca8c5b555b16">Re: Schizophrenic Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I think if your dress for the reception is red and gold for a custom/tradition, it's not necessary to match it to everything else. I also don't think you need to match your guestbook to the reception. If I were you, I would have the reception and ceremony match and then just happen to have a red guestbook and your red and gold reception dress.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

This!

kipnus

I'll be changing into a red and gold sari for part of my reception (which will definitely clash with my orange BM dresses), but I'm not going to worry about it. By that time, we're going to be dancing, not standing beside each other posing for photos...