Is 40 guest too small??? PLEASE HELP

marcswife2b

My fiancee and I want a small intimate wedding, however everyone around us keeps advising us to have a small wedding and a huge reception. I donot want to do that. I kind of want everything to be intimate and not too overwhelming. Can you please share your thoughts? Thanks

midgetthemighty

Everyone invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the reception, so your instincts are correct on that. As long as you account for everyone's SOs in that 40, it's fine! If your parents are paying and they want the big shindig, you'll have to either go with it, or pay for the smaller one all by yourself. 

And hi! Welcome to June!

gregamywedding

If you only want to invite 40 people that is your choice. It is your and FI's wedding. That being said. If other people are helping you pay for the wedding then they do get some say in what you do.

franklissa

We are having between 40-50 people, for us it is the perfect size.

niecie_jeff

Welcome to the board! I agree w/PP, 40 is fine. However, if someone else is helping to pay, then they also have a say in the guest list.

DodgersBride

Invite however many you and your FI and whoever else is helping out with the wedding see fit and are able to afford. The only way to have a small ceremony and a large reception is if the ceremony is immediate family only. Like parents grandparents and siblings. If not then yes you will need to invite all guest to both.

kelsey+brandon

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_40-guest-small-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:6b71d155-5b17-41db-848a-cab80469c3e6Post:89d312d3-89f8-43dd-a7de-e898a54cc281">Re: Is 40 guest too small??? PLEASE HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the reception, so your instincts are correct on that. As long as you account for everyone's SOs in that 40, it's fine! If your parents are paying and they want the big shindig, you'll have to either go with it, or pay for the smaller one all by yourself.  And hi! Welcome to June!
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto to Jess. I would have loved a smaller wedding, but we have 76 people that are just immediate family!</div>

Zimsgirl

I would love to have a wedding that small. 

HarperBargo

I would love to have a wedding that small. But I'm from a rather large family. If it is what you want then go for it. 

MMRoberts11

Welcome to the board!

As others have said, definitely have those invited to the wedding ceremony also invited to the reception except for the exclusions others have listed.  Personally, I think 40 would be a great size wedding!  You'll definitely be able to interact with all your guests at that size. 

MissAmeliaPond

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_40-guest-small-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:6b71d155-5b17-41db-848a-cab80469c3e6Post:707184ca-021b-4b49-8d67-2d4dafbde32b">Re: Is 40 guest too small??? PLEASE HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]Welcome to the board! I agree w/PP, 40 is fine. However, if someone else is helping to pay, then they also have a say in the guest list.
Posted by niecie_jeff[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. I would have loved an intimate 30 person wedding, but FI wanted a big wedding and my parents are paying, so it's about 7 times that size now :(

goodine11

If you wanted 20 people that is great. Remember the wedding is for you and your Future Hubby,everyone else is extra. This is your day, do it how you want it to be done. 

If I am not mistaken most of the money is spent in  the reception not the wedding. So having a huge reception is spending more money. 

jfellows82

Do whatever you and FI want, although I agree that all should be invited to both the wedding and reception.  We are having 40-50 and I think that will be perfect for us.  We're only inviting family and close friends and should have plenty of time to spend with everyone.  My sister had about 50 at her wedding and it was wonderful.  Congrats and welcome!

doeie04

I also would love that small of a wedding. If this is what you and your FI want, then go for it. Don't let people pressure you. We have a larger guest list than we could have because of that pressure, and now we are regretting it.

For us, the party is the expensive part. People will try to convince you otherwise, or offer a ton of help, usually that help is never given. Stick to your guns and stick together.