Um.. Getting "married" in 16 days. Help!

skybrie

As you may or may not have read from before, My Dad was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer a few weeks ago.  We have decided to do a small (family and BP) wedding on December 17 to do all the traditional things so that he can be a part of it.  This will not be the legal ceremony but it is a wedding at a banquet hall.  I need some help on a few things:

1.Ceremony - We are having BP walk down the aisle, then my Dad and I.  Since nobody is officiating the wedding we will have 4 readings followed by us saying our vows and exchanging the rings.  Any thoughts/suggestions?

2.Cocktail Hour -  All of our guests are family (blood or not) so FI and I will be in white and all guests will be wearing either red or black.  This was we can do pictures with everybody as the “bridal party”  That being said, I was thinking since it is December in Chicago I would set up a backdrop in the banquet room.  The cocktail hour will be immediately after the ceremony so we can do photos with my family, his family, friends and everybody can have cocktails when they are not required to be in the photo.   Any thoughts/suggestions?

3.Dances - Is it ok to do the cake cutting and Daddy/Daughter and Mother/Son dances before eating dinner?  Or is that something that is always done after dinner?  Do we do the dances first – then cake cutting? I have no idea.

4. Photography- Our photographer is doing this for us basically for free.  He has given us 2.5 hours.  I have the getting ready, ceremony, cocktail hour/family portraits, cake cutting, dances – am I missing anything?

Anything else?  Any other traditions I am forgetting about.

I have the dress, shoes, hair accessories.  Got the wedding bands (way more expensive than I thought). The room is very bare so I got a wedding arch, aisle runner, centerpieces, bouquets and will think of some sort of backdrop.  We are doing an IPod DJ with the assistance of a siblings date.  Anything else?

You girls are great.  Thank you not only for all your T&P from before, but all your help now.  

Shanee18

I think that sounds beautiful and wonderful!  I don't know about how things normally go in regards to schedule for cake and dances so hopefully someone can help you out there. 

I've been keeping your dad in my prayers everyday.  I even remember his name   How are the treatments going?

chelseakopperud

I agree with Shannon- it sounds perfect

I think as far as the dances and cake cutting go, you can do it in any order you want. Although I am not sure technically what is supposed to come first!

Update us on how your dad is doing. You and your family are in my T&Ps!

diamondx423

Everything sounds great. In NJ we do the dances before dinner, then cake cutting after just because dessert comes after, but you can do it any way you like.

edw7479

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your dad. :-( I will keep him and you & your family in my thoughts and prayers. As for the questions you asked, I think since it's non-traditional you should do it however you want! Good luck!

laurabub

I would do all of the "standing items" at once so people don't have to continuously get out of the chairs all of the time.  Here is an idea timeline:

-cocktail hour/pictures
-have one of your family members tell everyone to take their seats
-introduction of Groom and Bride
-First dances
-Speeches/Prayer before dinner if you want
-Dinner
-cake cutting (everyone can get out of their chairs to take pictures)
-then start the party!

Really there is no set way to have a wedding so do what you feel most comfortable doing.  It sounds like you are going to have a lovely wedding.  I can't wait to see pictures!

MMRoberts11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_um-getting-married-16-days?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7ee806fe-7a28-410c-aefd-d9a92df4a637Post:a30f04fd-a597-471d-9c08-79ced9d64032">Re: Um.. Getting "married" in 16 days. Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Shannon- it sounds perfect :) I think as far as the dances and cake cutting go, you can do it in any order you want. Although I am not sure technically what is supposed to come first! Update us on how your dad is doing. You and your family are in my T&Ps!
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

This.  I've seen the dances and cake cutting done both ways so go with what you think flows better. 
I also agree, please let us know how your dad is doing.

kelsey+brandon

I think all of that sounds wonderful! Do the dances and cake cutting whenever you want. You can still wait to serve the cake until after everyone eats.

I definitely agree that the group picture should be inside. I know this might be time consuming, but maybe you could get a big piece of gray/black fabric and then have white cut-outs of the Chicago skyline glued/sewn on.

Please keep us updated on your dad!!

sprtychick10

I think it sounds great. I will continue to keep your family and you in my T & P's. I like doing the cake cutting and toasts after dinner, so then "dessert" can be served. You are fine doing the dances before dinner. This is what we are planning on doing.

57rainbows

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad... how tragic. Will this replace your original wedding plans, or be in addition?


For the ceremony, if you want the style of an officiant without the official part, you can have a friend read all the traditional things, guide you through your vows, and pronounce you. I don't know if that interests you or not, but I'm positive you can find online everything a minister would normally say. Also, do you have any friends that are musical? It might be nice to have someone sing a love song or play accompanyment during the ceremony.

Cocktail hour sounds very nice. THe red and black theme will make for great photos and easy coordination. Good choice.

Traditionally, I believe it's dinner - dancing - cake. You can do it however you want though. I don't know what your father's condition is but is it possible that it'd be good to have a sit-down break for dinner between pictures and dancing so he can rest? That's the only thing I can think of that would mean it matters which order you do things in.



For traditions, you may or may not want to include a unity ceremony (candles, sand, or love letter wine box); that's up to you. What if your father wrote and read a special blessing that you could save a copy of? Also, would you like someone to videotape the wedding? Consider assigning someone for that.



All of these ideas are meant to help you brainstorm since you're pressed for time; they are not things to stress over or that you must do. Most important is having a wonderful time and enjoying your family. Best wishes to you....

midgetthemighty

I love Kelsey's idea about the skyline backdrop if you have time (or people bugging you for a project to do) for it.

Everything else, just do when you want. I've seen things done either way as other have said.

I've been thinking about your dad and your whole family. Please keep us updated.

skybrie

<div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">In Response to <a style="text-decoration:underline;color:#579bc3;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_um-getting-married-16-days?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7ee806fe-7a28-410c-aefd-d9a92df4a637Post:a11d47c5-0fd3-47c6-ad1e-7466d3d50c6f">Re: Um.. Getting "married" in 16 days. Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this might be time consuming, but maybe you could get a big piece of gray/black fabric and then have white cut-outs of the Chicago skyline glued/sewn on. Please keep us updated on your dad!!
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]
</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">
</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">That is is great idea!!!  I will look for something today.</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">
</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">[QUOTE]<span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;" class="Apple-style-span">What if your father wrote and read a special blessing that you could save a copy of? </span>
Posted by <a style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:#ffffff;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;font-size:12px;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;vertical-align:baseline;font-family:Arial;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" href="http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/default.aspx?membershipid=4631456659944685&plckUserId=4631456659944685" target="_blank" class="username_knot">57rainbows</a>[/QUOTE]</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">
</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">This reminded me of an idea to have each other write  letter and put it in a "time capsule" with a bottle of wine to be opened on our 10th anniversary.  I totally forgot about this.  We should do a time capsule but extend it to the entire family writing something and having us open it on our 10th wedding anniversary!!</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">
</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">Thank you again ladies.  He completed radiation a few weeks ago and we will know how it worked next week.  If the radiation worked we will be starting chemotherapy for the other tumors the following day.  If it didn't work they will not continue treatment and we will do what we can to improve his quality of life.  </div>

midgetthemighty

I love the idea of including your whole family in the time capsule for your 10th anniversary. Totally do that!

Praying for your dad.

ncd5015

You're getting married on my birthday - such a great day  I've seen dances and cake cutting done before and after dinner, it's really your decision! And i love the idea of the time capsule - such a neat idea! Your dad and family continue to be in my T&Ps.  Your wedding sounds beautiful!

kelsey+brandon

I LOVE the time capsule idea.

And prayers for your dad!!

skybrie

Just ordered a glass display case aka time capsule!  Such a great idea!!

I did find a Chicago photo backdrop too!

kipnus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_um-getting-married-16-days?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:7ee806fe-7a28-410c-aefd-d9a92df4a637Post:a45eeb4a-b666-4c52-b8fb-a7a6b8d95546">Re: Um.. Getting "married" in 16 days. Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Just ordered a glass display case aka time capsule!  Such a great idea!! I did find a Chicago photo backdrop too!
Posted by skybrie[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That's great! I've also heard of couples making their entrance into the reception venue and having the first dance (and parent dances) right away--it's fine! I like the idea of cutting the cake first thing as well, so that it can be taken back to be cut and put on plates and served later. We'll do this.

</div>

laurabub

Awww  I love the idea of a family time capsule.  You'll love reading that in 10 years!

julbgordo

I think it all sounds really great!  I've always seen the daddy/daughter dance, mother/son dance and then the couples first dance before dinner with the cake cutting following dinner.  Whatever way you want to do it though is fine.  I think it will be a great night and I can't wait to see pictures 

squarepeg72

It all sounds wonderful. Hugs and prayers for you and your family too ...

TeamMoriarty

i echo what others have said- i think that what you have planned sounds wonderful and i LOVE the time capsule idea.  hoping the day goes wonderfully.  it will be so special.  thoughts and prayers for your dad, you, and your entire family.