Are there any "rules" you ARE following?

nvelez28

Tons of post ask questions where etiquette dictates something specific-- like can my aunt walk me down the aisle, how should I word my nonreligious but formal invitation, etc.. Aside from doing anything rude (like inviting ladies to a shower and not to the wedding), I think you can do what make sense for you, your family, your taste, your FI....

Are there any rules you're compelled to follow? Is someone pushing rules on you?

Rethany

I guess I don't really understand your question.  Are  you asking what traditions I'm going to follow, or what etiquette rules I'm following?

When it comes to etiquette I don't want to look like a complete douche so I will be following these to the best of my ability. 

Traditions: I will not be getting married in a church.  Might not do the garter and bouquet tosses.  Nothing else that I can think of off the top of my head.  Our wedding is going to be pretty traditional.

michellep1

Well etiquette rules I'm pretty much trying to follow all of them.  Except for this one I read that said if you receive a present before the wedding that you can't use it until after the wedding.  I don't really see how its rude to use a kitchen appliance or something before we are married, but if someone can explain this to me then please do!

The only tradition we aren't really doing is the garter toss, although I do want to do a bouquet toss (not sure if it's weird to do one without the other though).

DodgersBride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_there-rules-following?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:f85a5163-64a6-4e5c-b7c0-dedd185c3cdbPost:1496615c-4abf-440e-a5cd-0664d02aa6e7">Re: Are there any "rules" you ARE following?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well etiquette rules I'm pretty much trying to follow all of them.  Except for this one I read that said <strong>if you receive a present before the wedding that you can't use it until after the wedding.</strong>  I don't really see how its rude to use a kitchen appliance or something before we are married, but if someone can explain this to me then please do! The only tradition we aren't really doing is the garter toss, although I do want to do a bouquet toss (not sure if it's weird to do one without the other though).
Posted by michellep1[/QUOTE]

I think it has to do with what if the wedding is cancelled. If you for some reason do not get married I assume it is proper etiquette to return all gifts. So you can't return something that is used.

michellep1

That makes so much more sense now!  That never even occurred to me, thanks!

midgetthemighty

Etiquette rules will be followed to the best of my human ability and we're having a very traditional wedding otherwise. No one is pushing any rules on me...yet...but it's very early in the planning obviously. My dad will be walking me down the aisle, my FI will not see me in my dress before I walk down the aisle, we're getting married in a church and having both a garter and bouquet toss.

mary9449

I'm a huge etiquette snob and always have been. I will be following the "rules" to a T when it comes to my wedding. My whole family is very manners and etiquette oriented though, so if I didn't I would definitely be called out in a hurry.

AshnRobo

Um we aren't really following many rules. Obviously we won't invite people to pre-wedding parties that aren't invited to the wedding. I've also made a facebook list of wedding people so when I update about the wedding non-guests won't see it and get upset.

Other than that we are just doing what we want. Etiquette be damned.  

skybrie

We arent following too many "rules" either.  Our ceremony will be smaller than the reception - so some people will only be invited to the reception.  I personally want to evite the wedding but FMIL wants to hand make the invites so she can do what she wants with that - I could care less.

We arent traditional and arent having a traditional wedding.  No boquet toss, garter, unity candle,  veil, we are walking down the aisle together and our bridal party is not standing at the alter with us. ...  Personally I  feel we should be able to do whatever we want - regardless of etiquette or tradition.  It is going to be about us and our comittment

julbgordo

Etiquette is nice and all and I'll try to follow it to the best of my ability, but I HATE when girls on TK really push old school turn of the century (1900's) Miss Manners type stuff on other girls.  That really gets on my nerves.  Anyways, I do plan on being fairly traditional with my invites and such. 

Aside from that, we are not having a religious ceremony, no unity candle/sand whatever, no bouquet or garter toss, no BP dance.

Basically we'll just do what we want and not do what we don't want.  LOL.

kelsey+brandon

I think it's easier to say what you're not doing in terms of tradition than what you are doing. I also think there's a difference between following ettiquette and tradition. 

A tradition would be something like not seeing your FI before the wedding (which we aren't following). Ettiquette is more along the lines of not putting your registry on your invitations (which we will be following). 

It really just depneds on your perspective of what each one means!

michellep1

Oh I forgot, we won't be doing a unity candle ceremony or anything like that.  I'm not totally sure what a bridal party dance is, but I guess we aren't doing it since I don't know what it is haha.  I've never seen one, so I'm not sure how traditional they are as most weddings I've been to have been pretty traditional.

DodgersBride

I will follow etiquette to the best of my ability. I think that your guest should be #1 seeing as the reception is basically about them. I will also try to take into consideration certain wedding aspect that are done in both my family and FI's family. 

FI will see my dress as I value his opinion and most likely will go shopping with me.
I will spend the night prior to the wedding at my home with FI.
I will either walk myself down the aisle or with FI.
No parent dances.
BM can choose a dress themselves in the color I pick out.
We are having a Catholic ceremony.
We are trying our best to have a full open bar or at the very least a hosted bar.
I do not want a bridal shower and most likely will decline if someone offers.


 

SheilaDancer43

We are definitely following ettiquette, and most traditions. We just aren't having a religious ceremony--that's the main thing. We are having a garter and bouquet toss, FI isn't seeing me until I walk down then aisle, my dad is walking me down the aisle...etc

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_there-rules-following?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:f85a5163-64a6-4e5c-b7c0-dedd185c3cdbPost:fa33730b-9d50-4131-bfe9-36507f4ed549">Re: Are there any "rules" you ARE following?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh I forgot, we won't be doing a unity candle ceremony or anything like that.  <strong>I'm not totally sure what a bridal party dance is, but I guess we aren't doing it since I don't know what it is haha.  I've never seen one, so I'm not sure how traditional they are as most weddings I've been to have been pretty traditional.
</strong>Posted by michellep1[/QUOTE]

Basically it's a dance where only the bridal party is forced to dance with each other. Some are slow and others are fast.
I don't really like them because I love dancing and we already have to wait through the entrance, toasts, eating, father/daughter dance, and mother/son dances. One just for the BP seems a little ridiculous to me. One of my best friends had a lot of these at her reception and it was super awkward. Guests were out there dancing then all of a sudden the DJ would say "This is a song for the bridal party requested by X" and everyone would feel pressured off the dance floor. If you must have one, just do one...but it's something that I'm not doing. I want everyone to be able to come out and dance as soon as possible.

Shanee18

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_there-rules-following?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:f85a5163-64a6-4e5c-b7c0-dedd185c3cdbPost:bf7db79a-fd00-4698-aef9-4ff1dabed6e5">Re: Are there any "rules" you ARE following?</a>:
[QUOTE]Etiquette is nice and all and I'll try to follow it to the best of my ability, but <strong>I HATE when girls on TK really push old school turn of the century (1900's) Miss Manners type stuff on other girls</strong>.  That really gets on my nerves.  Anyways, I do plan on being fairly traditional with my invites and such.  Aside from that, we are not having a religious ceremony, no unity candle/sand whatever, no bouquet or garter toss, no BP dance. Basically we'll just do what we want and not do what we don't want.  LOL.
Posted by julbgordo[/QUOTE]

<div>Agreed!  I am completely fine with whatever people want to do for their own weddings, even if it isn't something I would do...but I absolutely DESPISE when people get rude or make others feel "less than" just because their plans don't follow etiquette.  My thought is that weddings should reflect the people getting married and what is important to them.</div>

skybrie

Agree PP!  I was initially VERY turned off the the boards cause of some very snotty and mean girls.  I havent found any of that here or in my local so that is where I stay. 

calo1983

im considering having him walk down the isle with me. i so not have parents to give me away and i think it would be odd to have anyone else do it...