African American Weddings

Replacing a MOH

Sooo one of my MOH was an extremely good friend of mine since elementary school. We take yearly trips, lived together, the whole 9. But for the past 6-7 months she's been MIA and whenever my matron or I asks for her help she gets really snippy and then just shows up and acts like its all good.

I have another BM who I am really close to and talks to me every day and asks what can she do next.

Last week I sent out a wedding weekend itinerary and other stuff. MOH texts me the next morning saying she wont be there on Friday (the day alll the grunt work needs to be done).

I would really like to ask the other girl to be my MOH. Is it too late? They've ordered their dresses and the MOH dress has a strap but the BM one does not. I'D  pay for BMs strap to be added. What do you think?

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Re: Replacing a MOH

  • OoooOooo this is touchy. 
    Maybe a talk is in order with the current MOH.  That may be the bigger issue then just replacing her.  Id ask her IN PERSON, with zero attitude, if she is happy about being in the wedding and about being the MOH.  I'd address the issues and put it in a way that isnt about u being upset, but about you being concerned.... that you dont want her to feel forced into something she really isnt into. 

    I'd let that conversation lead you to what to do next. 

    Good luck sweety :)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_replacing-a-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:05eb87b3-eff2-4ef1-9532-afe8011aca63Post:a0f55da2-8147-456c-9b08-97644cd1fb74">Re: Replacing a MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]OoooOooo this is touchy.  Maybe a talk is in order with the current MOH.  That may be the bigger issue then just replacing her.  Id ask her IN PERSON, with zero attitude, if she is happy about being in the wedding and about being the MOH.  I'd address the issues and put it in a way that isnt about u being upset, but about you being concerned.... that you dont want her to feel forced into something she really isnt into.  I'd let that conversation lead you to what to do next.  Good luck sweety :)
    Posted by RealHappyGal[/QUOTE]

    Totally agree!
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  • very touchy situation...DEFINITELY u guys need a sit down... to find out "WHAT IS GOIN ON?"... You want your day to b as stress free as possible... and for some reason there is something causing a disconnect.. Think about your friend... and pray about it...GOD will guide your words..
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_replacing-a-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:05eb87b3-eff2-4ef1-9532-afe8011aca63Post:a0f55da2-8147-456c-9b08-97644cd1fb74">Re: Replacing a MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]OoooOooo this is touchy.  M<strong>aybe a talk is in order with the current MOH.  That may be the bigger issue then just replacing her.  Id ask her IN PERSON, with zero attitude, if she is happy about being in the wedding and about being the MOH</strong>.  I'd address the issues and put it in a way that isnt about u being upset, but about you being concerned.... that you dont want her to feel forced into something she really isnt into.  I'd let that conversation lead you to what to do next.  Good luck sweety :)
    Posted by RealHappyGal[/QUOTE]

    I tried this. We dont live in the same city so I called. I really was concerned that something was happening with her.

    She got irritated and said well I cant just do things when ppl plan last minute. I'm too busy for that. And she was like I'm willing to help I just need to know well in advance. The only other weddings I was in I just had to show up , now I have to buy an expensive dress, etc.

    I let it go after that because  I figured "ok I know the 2 weddings she was in and theywere much more informal. But now its like well I never do anything last minute unless 3-4 month notice is last minute and I've been engaged for almost 3 years now when things come up she acts surprised.

    I am going to pray on it thank you gals
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  • Keep it moving to many other things to worry about like beyonce say ur replacable I got stop being friends with my bestfriend of 30 yrs we grew up together school everything but she was not happy and wanted me to be unhappy too talked about my FI attitude all the time I had to let it go uz its about me and my FI and don't need nobody else attitude cuz mine is big enough I think I'm worst than Tamar at times lol! so if u have tried all u can replace her and try to reconcile after if its worth reconciling I just keep it 100% 
  • Touchy Situation.
    I had to decide on the same thing, My God Sister was my MOH but she was always MIA for everything. My play sister was always around when I needed her for anything wedding related etc..
    I took my God SIs out to lunch to find out what was going on with her and it help me to understand why she did those things. In the end she was acceptable of giving her role to someone else.
    SO just talk with her and see what's going on before making that decision.Praying it works out.
    HTH

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_replacing-a-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:05eb87b3-eff2-4ef1-9532-afe8011aca63Post:e4802778-4fbb-4f64-accd-a9e73eec0c14">Replacing a MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sooo one of my MOH was an extremely good friend of mine since elementary school. We take yearly trips, lived together, the whole 9. But for the past 6-7 months she's been MIA and whenever my matron or I asks for her help she gets really snippy and then just shows up and acts like its all good. I have another BM who I am really close to and talks to me every day and asks what can she do next. Last week I sent out a wedding weekend itinerary and other stuff. MOH texts me the next morning saying she wont be there on Friday (the day alll the grunt work needs to be done). I would really like to ask the other girl to be my MOH. Is it too late? They've ordered their dresses and the MOH dress has a strap but the BM one does not. I'D  pay for BMs strap to be added. What do you think?
    Posted by M1ssJ[/QUOTE]
  • RealHappyGalRealHappyGal member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited September 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_replacing-a-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:05eb87b3-eff2-4ef1-9532-afe8011aca63Post:b8c87d15-2470-4a31-8df3-fa7ad3e632fa">Re: Replacing a MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Replacing a MOH : I tried this. We dont live in the same city so I called. I really was concerned that something was happening with her. She got irritated and said well I cant just do things when ppl plan last minute. I'm too busy for that. And she was like I'm willing to help I just need to know well in advance. The only other weddings I was in I just had to show up , now I have to buy an expensive dress, etc. I let it go after that because  I figured "ok I know the 2 weddings she was in and theywere much more informal. But now its like well I never do anything last minute unless 3-4 month notice is last minute and I've been engaged for almost 3 years now when things come up she acts surprised. I am going to pray on it thank you gals
    Posted by M1ssJ[/QUOTE]


    I would then ask her how she feels about relinquishing her title then.  I'd let her know how much the other girl has done and been there for you every inch last min or not.  I have short patience for people when I've tried to find out what your deal is and have done so nicely.  At that point, its about action.
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  • In Response to Re:Replacing a MOH:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Replacing a MOH:In Response to Re: Replacing a MOH : I tried this. We dont live in the same city so I called. I really was concerned that something was happening with her. She got irritated and said well I cant just do things when ppl plan last minute. I'm too busy for that. And she was like I'm willing to help I just need to know well in advance. The only other weddings I was in I just had to show up , now I have to buy an expensive dress, etc. I let it go after that becausenbsp; I figured "ok I know the 2 weddings she was in and theywere much more informal. But now its like well I never do anything last minute unless 34 month notice is last minute and I've been engaged for almost 3 years now when things come up she acts surprised. I am going to pray on it thank you galsPosted by M1ssJI would then ask her how she feels about relinquishing her title then.nbsp; I'd let her know how much the other girl has done and been there for you every inch last min or not.nbsp; I have short patience for people when I've tried to find out what your deal is and have done so nicely.nbsp; At that point, its about action. Posted by RealHappyGal[/QUOTE]

    I agree!
    **I am getting married to Mr. Wonderful on 11/3/2012**
  • Alright Im having this convo tonight!
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