How would you respond to this? I need help conveying my message..

ShaylaDaPimptress

So I was on the South Carolina board(searching for a caterer) and I seen this post..How rude is it to invite old friends from the past to a lingerie shower or bridal shower when I know they will not be on the guest list for the wedding? I'd love to have some people to be apart of my events but there's no room left on the guest list for the reception. Also, how do you go about inviting to the wedding and not the reception (that's where my budget is killing me!!) In response I told her to have an Invitation only(private) ceremony.. and hell basically instead of helping the woman.. all the other posters sayin they don't understand what an invitation only ceremony is.. so I'm wondering how can I better explain it to them. They mainly said for the woman to have a BBQ(eww).. People in my family have had private ceremonys before where only the 2ppl gettin married and their parents were present and then they invited the family to the reception. But I guess I need another way to convey this so they can understand(although I thought it was pretty simple)Thanks

the cat

don't put any reception information on the invite...suggest that as a way to convey "u ain't invited to the reception". no other way to explain that. I don't know how much more simple u can make it chic! It's a matter of wanting everyone to witness the union, but only a few to partake in the reception festivities.

ShaylaDaPimptress

I thought I made it simple Cat.. It makes plenty of sense to me.. they sum crazies..lol

ishawnamcm

Shay: I used to live in SC so I know EXACTLY what u r talking about.  Dont offer any explanations.  Give them only the info they need to be where they need to be.  Those invited to more festivites request they do not share that info.

brobin01

Ok, so on the invites to the people that are invited to the "wedding only" have a small hors d'oeuvres served immediatley following the wedding..if your wedding site has accomdations for this so that those that aren't invited to the "real reception" have at least a cookie or finger sandwich..lolAnd for the invites for people that  are invited to the reception, just put on the invite that it is a private reception and that they are invited..not in those words, but you know what I mean..I hope.

rhodesign

They might be confused because etiquette-wise it's not proper to invite someone to the wedding and not the reception. If you want to have a private ceremony with just a few folks and then everyone else to the reception, that's okay, but not the other way around. Sometimes it can be done, but usually on a word-of-mouth, just a few people who are in the know and understanding of the circumstances.

brobin01

Rho def has a point..and I respect it....but times are diffrent and to each is own. You have to do what you CAN afford to do...and you can't win for losing b/c some may turn around and say "oh, we aren't good enough to come to the ceremony or we aren't good enough to come to her reception " You can't please everyone..but you can please yourself and FI and unf whoever else is helping foot the bill..so do what you can... GL!