Would you go? Long....

mahoganieyes

Tonight, fi and I stop over his parents house for a visit and his mom brings up, will I be able to attend Jason's(not his real name) wedding. I said no because that is around the holiday and I'm already taking time off from my job and don't want to take anymore vacation time. Fi proceeds to say " you knew about it, plus they sent a std months ago, and I told you then." I told him, they sent your parents a std, not us. We did not get a std sent to our home, only his parents home. What I suppose to take off from work, when he never mentioned that his mom received the wedding invitation a few weeks ago, and she put us down for going?See Jason is childhood friends with fi and his brother, Fi's brother and Jason are bestfriends. I figured since fi has not mentioned anything about the wedding, that maybe we weren't invited. I knew the wedding was coming up because its around our dating anniversary but I wanted to schedule plans for fi and I. Maybe take a overnight trip. I just want to spend time together alone.The issue I have is Jason addressed/sent the invite, like he did the std to fi's parents house. He sent one invite and I consider that a no-no! One thing is fi is a grown man and he has been out his parents home for some years. All adults should have their own invite. I personally dont feel invited when you send out a group invite to 4 adults, and 2 of the people dont live there. I want an invite! A real piece of paper with my name or fi names on it. I feel like a kid with his mom rsvp for me. WTH?His mom was pissed, "well I guess, I need to call and cancel you?" Yes you do, please! His mom told me, why cant I just work the next day which is Saturday and then I dont have to worry about taking my vacation time. I told her no because I would have to work 8hrs and I don't work weekends unless I have too or need the money. Am I wrong? Would you feek comfortable with not an actual invite sent for you?

adgenya

hmmm, that's a tough situation. It's hard to tell if you and Fi were really invited (I definitely agree that it was poor etiquette for the bride and groom to one, not send you guys an individual invitation with both your names on it and two, not seek out your correct address). I do somewhat understand your side because honestly it is hard to tell if you and FI really were invited, or if your FMIL just added two guests to their list (which would be poor etiquette as well). If I were you, I'd probably suck it up and go. It will make your FMIL and FI happy and this doesn't seem like a battle worth fighting over.

Dashawn Council

well actually planning my wedding and seeing the price of invites, if the family is still close i think i would send a group invite.  If the invite allow for 4 than it probably meant they really wanted you to come.    but i totally understand you not working the weekend either.  but i really wouldnt have taken the one invite personally. Good luck it can be tough sometimes with the "other side of the family"

Ladysun083

girl stop it! lol..but seriously I know how you feel..BUT i don't think you should feel that way because you didnt get an invite sent personally to you.  He could of told FI that he is sending it to his parents and that he wants you all to go, ie. the reason why mama RSVP'd for all of you.   Now the thing about your vaca is reasonable, you already took the time off for something else and because this wasn't communicated to you effectively, your totally not wrong in not wanting to take additional time off.  Butt bottom line, do I think you should go? I would say yes, if you can wing it with your time.  It won't hurt you to.

blue19violet

I see the need for wanting to spend time with your fi alone. However, this wedding seems to mean a lot to him. Because you asked, I'll have to say "yes, you're wrong." If the friend is close enough to them that he'd invite your fi's immediate family then it might be something worth making the effort for. JMO... that was asked for.

HisWifey82

I can see where you are coming from but as PP have stated, "yes, your wrong". You should just go and suck it up!!!!!!!

MrsW2000

While I agree that they should have sent a seperate invite to you and your FI maybe they were just trying to save an extra couple of dollars by sending a group invite.  It's happened to FI and I before but honestly I didn't even think twice about it.  IMO I would probably try to work it around my schedule as it does seem important to your FI and his family.

mahoganieyes

Well ladies I will suck it up and go. I just had someone at work put in my vacation request for me, hopefully my boss approves it. And hopefully FMIL has not cancelled my out too. I just know when I'm planning invites just be careful because some ppl might take it as "not invited." Thanks my AAW Ladies!