POLL: Mementos from past relationships

blue19violet

ishawna and cat got me thinking about this subject. I loveee me large comfortable t-shirts and over the years I've collected quite a few from my exes. I also have a lot of cards, a few pictures, and other random items from meaningful past relationships. With the exception of the t-shirts, they are all hidden somewhere in my closet. I pay so little attention to them that I don't even really remember what they are. Do you have items left over from past relationships? How often do you take them out and reminisce? What would you do if fi/hubby asked you to get rid of them?

the cat

U and Ishawna gonna have me mad with P all over again...and I'm already mad! Do you have items left over from past relationships? I HAD plenty stuff. Cards, letters, pictures, souvenires, etc. How often do you take them out and reminisce? NEVER...i really forgot about most of it. Outta sight, outta mind. What would you do if fi/hubby asked you to get rid of them? he did it for me. HE DISPOSED OF EVERYTHING...including old cell phones. Girl when i say he threw everything out...that's what i mean. I had picture CDs that went missing too. That's when I put his stuff out and made sure the cards and stuff he gave me were in the pile. No need to keep old stuff right?!

blue19violet

LMAO, I guess that would prove the point. Pheww... don't get mad at him now. This poor sod has learned his lesson. I bet he doesn't want him and his shite out on the street ever again.

alfdallas21

Do you have items left over from past relationships? nopeHow often do you take them out and reminisce? doesn't apply to meWhat would you do if fi/hubby asked you to get rid of them?  here's my take on it, I don't understand the reasoning for keeping mementos from past relationships...I'm sorry but I don't especially if you're engaged to your future new hubby or are newly married why set yourself up for a possible "blow out" argument cuz you know it will come one day "WHY YOU STILL GOT A LETTER FROM JOHN DOE? YOU STILL FEELING THAT FOOL?!"...so I say if it's any type of souvenir, cards & letters - get rid of it but the same goes for FI/DH.DISCLAIMER:  the views and opinons posted in this comment are solely based on the posters personal experience (or lack thereof) and should not be taken to be applied to all that read it...I'm AlfDallas and I approve of this message!...LOL! 

the cat

Blue I was sooo mad. It wasn't that the 'momentos' weren't there anymore. It really wasn't. it's that he went through MY things, in MY house, and had the gall to get rid of them. then he got smot talking bout "well u said they didn't mean anything". That is a no no mister. Girl he didn't know which way to turn when he got home to an empty closet. His feelings were so hurt about me sending him the cards he'd sent me...the shredded confetti that is!

blue19violet

Alf, lmao, girl you're an effin' fool. That disclaimer is some funny shite. Cat, can't believe you shredded them. Damnnnnn.... I feel you though. It's completely a matter of trust and respect. That's always what it boils down to in these matters.

brobin01

Yes, I still have old crap stored in boxes somewhere.. and so does fiance..Funny because when we were moving, I saw a card layig on the florr, we had just had our e-party, so i thought it was a card pertaining to that, child i opened that card and it was a love card to fiance it said something like "thanks for spicing up my love life" or some $hit like that! girl, i bout blew a Mutha F%%%in gasket!! I searched that damn card for some type of date like a sniper!!! The card was from a chick from about 6 years ago, boy oh boy was this dude lucky b/c I was about to cut his a$$ I think old stuff should be thrown away..it's no need for it anyway. I about to start a brand new chapter in my life and the past is the past....

the cat

On some level i agree with Alf and Brobin. (BTW - Blue, every sleep shirt I have is from an ex - wink wink) There really is no need to carry the remnants of a past relationship into a new one. After my divorce, I moved into a new place. All the things I got from my 'suiters' went into the same place. The top of my closet, in the entertainment center, or the cabinets of my bookshelves. I wasn't hiding anything, that's just where stuff went. Besides, I wasn't serious with many of them, so there was no need to be showcasing their stuff! The pictures and other junk went the same place. P comes in and sees it as me hiding these things from him. I didn't get rid of it because it wasn't in my view or on my mind. There was no conscious thought to it. That ish had truly been forgotten about. Now it's a whole nutha story if I've accumulated and hidden things AFTER my relationship with P or if I've gone done a good cleaning and purposely kept those things.

Ladysun083

The only thing I have from my exes are a bad taste in my mouth, oh and my Michael Jackson #1's cd and dvd from '95' not giving that one up eva neva eva!

asuanta

I have some photos and a ring that's worth $3000. I'm debating if I should pawn it. I would definitely have to wait until the value of diamonds go back up.

mahoganieyes

This past June I had to get a new tv for my bedroom. That tv was my my ex, when I moved into my first place. Well, when I moved into my current place a few years ago I was satisfied with keeping that tv but fi had to go out and buy me a new, bigger tv, so I put ex tv in the bedroom. Well that tv finally went out after 9yrs but this time fi told me I had to buy the new tv for the bedroom :-(. Otherwise if the gifts are electronics, I would keep it but paper stuff I've been got rid of.

Mypasmita

Asuanta and Alf you are both Crazy. LOL

blue19violet

Brobin, you got me sitting here cracking the hell up. I needed that since I was crying my eyes out from this book that I’m reading. I understand what you guys are saying about not holding on the past, but I also think that you’re giving items more power than they ar worth if you feel that you NEED to get rid of them in order to exercise the demons of the past. JMO! Cat, we can start a tee club. Sun, heck no, don’t give those things up. Asuanta, $3,000? LMAO, damn, you’re sugar must have been extra sweet – or my exes were a bunch of cheapskates. Haha, probably the latter.

blue19violet

mahagoni, you bring up a good point. Does a tv (or other electronics) have less of a sentimental value than card stuff? I say not necessarily because hubby got me my current tv when were dating. The memories from the day that he bought it for me are very sentimental. Just because it’s not a card that says “I love you” or in Brobin’s case “I want to be your sex slave” (LOL!) does not mean that it can’t hold the same emotional attachment.

braxtongirl

Yup mostly basketball shorts that I wear all the time. No paper goods, maybe a picture or two.Hubby knows better to ask me to get rid of my shorts! We mind each other privacy when it comes to our things. I really don't even associate my shorts with those guys, they are just my shorts now.

mahoganieyes

I actually thought it was funny that he bought me a tv, microwave and toaster; so when we broke up he had to go out and buy all that stuff for his place. I had no problem using that microwave and watching that tv. Thanks ex you saved me a few dollars!

the cat

Braxton, i feel the same way about my tee shirts. i don't remember which shirt came from who. They're just my 'sleepers'. Blue, u hit the nail on the head about giving things more value than they really have. i mean really. did he think throwing away some cards and pictures would erase my memory? it's like they think "ok, the teddy bear is gone, so she will no longer remember her time spent with Rosco". Same for me. Just b/c he doesn't keep anything, it doesn't mean he doesn't think about times from the past. Heck...there's this old song he absolutely loves...can't get enough of it. I look him striaght inthe eye for 2 seconds then I turn it off if i'm around cuz u can't tell me that song isn't connected to an old love!

brobin01

Braxton & cat - yall better throw them old a$$ shirts and shorts away!! Steve and Barry's sell them for $5 and under!! (LOL/J/K) LOL!!!

the cat

Brobin - girl u know u right....right? There's one shirt i have...HAD...that was from one of my gangsta boos. He had a picture of his friend airbrushed on it with "R.I.P." or some stuff like that. Well one night P asks who is that. I had no idea who that was. I sure couldn't say "oh...that's Allen's friend that was killed in a drive by shooting". Yep. that shirt bit the dust.

brobin01

CAT!!!! OMG!! LMAO!!! Girl, burn it!!!! that is a damn shame! lol

blue19violet

lol @ rosco. Yep, just 'cause there's nothing physical there don't mean that the memories are gone. You just gonna go gangsta and erase my memories? You gonna ban me from listening to my favorite songs or any songs at all just because it might be attached to an ex? What about movies? If I saw Independence Day with my ex, am I now banned from even talking about Will Smith? Where does it stop?

asuanta

LMAO @ Blue's comment to my post.

blue19violet

LMAO, cat, now that shirt is a bit extra. If it has "Rosco and his mama hearts Trina 4 Life!" that's a different story. I can see why P might have flipped on that one, lol.

the cat

yeah. i put up zero resistance to that one!

MrClintonsFirstLady09

Do you have items left over from past relationships? I just got rid of my old wedding pics(from my first marriage), bridal portrait and engagement photo enlargement we used at the reception, programs,menus,decorations we didn't use, etc. I actually forgot that stuff was in the garage.How often do you take them out and reminisce? I looked at the when FI found the stuff in a box next to the water heater. We looked at them together and I kindly tore them up and put them in the garbage can.What would you do if fi/hubby asked you to get rid of them?  You know the funny thing? FI never said to me get rid of that stuff. He said I could keep the pics of myself and my family and friends if I want to. I really thought it was appropriate to get rid of it, so I got rid of everything.

Panda16

I have a stuffed Pooh bear that talks from an ex. It's like 3 foot big. I dont see it very often since its in my family's home in ATL and I'm in FL. but i do keep it in the closet and it's very clean. It's like 5 or 6 years old.FI threatened to throw it away but he never did. It's still in my closet.

tamishae77

I have jewelry left over from previous relationships.  I had pictures but  I just recently threw them away.  My FI said that it wasn't necessary though.  I kept the pictures of me that were cute, though.  You can't always get that back. LOL.  I don't reminisce on the items, because I forget that I even have them.  If it made him uncomfortable I would get rid of everything but the jewelry.

Crystalis77

I have some pictures in my photo albums.  Its not sentimental to me or anything but my albums cover all of high school and college and that time was sentimental to me.  I have lots of t-shirts that I sleep in.  FI never asked about them and I never really thought about how I got them.