He really wants to keep this wedding simple..... WTH

MrClintonsFirstLady09

I felt like posting this because FI and I had a discussion last night while sitting up watching tv. As everyone knows we had to change our wedding date due to him getting laid off. Ok. I actually see it as a blessing in disguise now rather than being sad about it. This means we get to have more things added to the wedding because we have  more time to get what we want, right? WRONG-A-RINO! I said baby now that we pushed the date we can add the things I thought were really nice to have in the wedding like the BM's taking BP pics with parasols w/ the MOH holding the "C" monogram parasol in the middle, the decorative jewels I wanted spreaded on the tables around the centerpieces at the reception, and the invitations I actually wanted in the beginning of this planning process.  He was like why can't we leave everything as it is? Why do your BM need parasols to take pics with and why do we need those crystals on the table? Why do you want to add all of this, etc. Now I am all for being reasonable and I was when we had our first wedding date. We have more time to make the wedding even more of a beautiful affair and he wants to keep it like we planned this on crunch time.  Thanks to you ladies and all of your suggestions in past and present posts, I have found things that I now know I don't have to pay an arm and leg for and I want to get those things. Am I wrong for wanting to get the things we initially was going to skimp on? What would you do?

braxtongirl

I don't think that you are wrong but I do understand where FI is coming from too. Just make sure that you have a way to get those things that you want without blowing your budget (old or new budget since FI's situation has changed). Try to make FI understand that you have the money. If you don't have the money or don't know how you will get the money, you may have to scale it back to the original plan to make it work. Let FI know that you just don't want any regrets. JMHO-HTH.

KimRhone

I don't think that you are wronf for wanting to have the wedding that you initially wanted but your fiance is laid off. The money that you want to spend on the extra things you can save for a rainy day or for an emergency. Maybe you can setlle for 1 thing that you really want instead of them all. That can be a compromise

Crook251

I have to say that I agree with the other ladies. Just because the date has been put back doesn't mean that more money can be spent. I can see you adding one or two minor elements to the wedding, but if it were me, I definitly wouldn't go overboard with it. I would put back as much as possible, who knows how long it may be before he gets another job?

MrClintonsFirstLady09

I need to clarify something because I think that you ladies think I am trying to go all SATC type wedding and I am not trying to do anything like that. I was stating that I can get the things that I originally wanted because "I" have the time to financially plan for it and get it. I definitely do not think that more money can be spent because we have more time. I think that now we have the time to properly plan for the things we wanted because originally we tried to plan this wedding in less than 6 mos then he got laid off. We have one major vendor to pay (which I am dilligently paying for in installments now) and that is the caterer (who I might add was our large and expensive bill left for the wedding). The flower person is ok with waiting a month or two before our wedding to be paid in full (and we only owe her  the balance of $200). I was asking for those couple of things and he asked me why did I have to have that. That is what I asked for originally when we started the planning process. The key reason for changing the date was for us not to go into debt. Please understand I am not trying to do anything extravangant but the few embellishments that I do want concerning decor and such I should be able to do especially if I am being cost effective about it. That was what I was meaning to say.

braxtongirl

Oh ok. I think that from the first post, we just the impression that you were adding more to the original plan.

Spim7

I think if it's in the budget and you're able to change things without hurting your financial situation than go for it. Maybe your FI really just doesn't want to discuss wedding details and was hoping the plans could just be over and done. But, whatever decision you make I think compromise is important.

oburrell

This is probably going to sound bad but here's my take on it: Don't tell him! Honestly, is he ever going to understand how pretty those parasols will be (my BM's had parasols!)? He doesn't know how much time you spent finding cheaper but pretty ways to have the wedding you want. Does he really need to know? As long as it's not going to break the bank and you know you can afford-do it and don't tell him.

mycicybride

Big sis!I am with oburrell on this one keep him distracted from looking at the bottom line....LOL!  May not be the best advice but it worked for our engagement party. Just make sure he gets the items that are most important to him too.Cicy

the cat

I'm with the last 2 posters. Will he really notice jewels on the tables? On the day of, will he really trip because he sees that your BM have parasols? Girl go head and get your lil stuff and roll out!

pinkpanther_truck

I second and third the oburrell, cicy, etc! Don't lie to him, just tell him if he asks... (And he probably won't ask about jewels and parasols, lol). That's what I'm doing with my guy. All he knows is that the budget is on track (which is true). And if something comes up, then I say "Oh yea, we're doing X-Y-Z, now... the caterer, florist, baker, etc. worked it out so it fit in our budget." Or "...I figured out how to make it myself." By the end of the conversation, he's like "Oh OK."

braxtongirl

I must admit. I am doing the same thing. Only thing that Fi worries about is bottom line. It seems like your groom is a lot more into the details.