Please pray for me ~ I am about to loose it!

RAJAH

I apologize in advance, its long. . . I contacted my father because he had not RVSP'd. . . well he isnt coming to my wedding. He told me that if I had consulted him before I picked a date to get married, he would have let me know that the weekend I am getting married, he "is ALWAYS in Texas for the revival at his mother's family church the first week in November, I should have known that". I thought parents sacrificed for their kids. . . my father is supposed to be a preacher, he has a church. I cried all night long ladies - literally. As I have said in pp's my maternal Grandmother raised me; I just cannot even wrap my mind around that statement, he wouldn't cut his trip short for his firstborn child. He did not raise me or do anything for me, but had no problem telling me how much of a disappointment I was when I had my baby in HS or the second one when I was in college (and on the Dean's list for 3.6+ GPA). Yet my sister and brother (by his second wife) still live at home, have kids the whole nine and he thinks they are perfect. I have bags under my eyes today. I have an appointment with a fertility doctor today, but the thing that keeps ringing in my head is, if your own father doesn't love you, why should anyone else? I talked about this with my Nana, she and I cried together because she loves me. .  always has. I don't know what would have become of me if my mother hadn't dropped me off that day with her. I guess I feel abandoned again or something - I don't know what to feel. Fi was absolutely speechless last night - I mean how do you comfort someone who hears something like that. I am sorry to go on for so long, I just wanted to ask for your prayers... I am going through so much right now, from money to flaking BM's to the car issue I had because of the accident. I am just being tried, I need prayer in order to make it. I literally wanted to call off the reception yesterday - why celebrate when your family isnt coming. Oh - that is the other part I left out, my aunts and uncles, cousin's and grandparents from that side of the family arent coming either I guess - since he isnt. I dont understand why they don't love me or like me.

clross01

I am sorry to hear about your father not coming to your wedding. Please keep in mind that this day is about you marrying the man you will forever love.. So what, if no one shows up as long he does and you do this is the only thing that should matter. As long as, the people who really love you are there then don't worry about anything else. Sometimes, and I'm guilty of this myself we get caught up in who we think should be there because they donated some genes. When we should focus on the people who have supported us emotionally, spiritually, phyiscally, and even financially.. These are people that will help "The Day" be a success. I'm sending prayers your way...

the cat

Rajah, I can't say I know how you feel, or even that I understand. I can sympathize though. I has to be rough thinking no one loves you. You HAVE to know that's not the case. You have made it this far through a hell of alot of challenges that were thrown your way. How many people were born with a silver spoon and STILL made nothing of themselves? You have to keep on keeping on. You are not the one with the problem. I'll never forget Al Sharpton's words at MJ's funeral. He told MJ's children their father wasn't strange, the people who talked about him are strange. I ask you to apply that to yourself. Your father and his family have the problem. Perry (my DH) has very little family. He has a brother and a daughter. He's got aunts, uncles, etc...but they're not close. Only his brother showed up at the wedding and we had a grand time. My family loves him enough so that he's not missing anything from his own family. Let your FI love you enough. Make it be enough. And that grandmother of yours is a gem. Don't let her down. Keep being the strong woman you've grown into. Let those other folks be darned. They're missing out. ...and of course my prayers are being sent your way. **hugs**

Spim7

I am so sorry sweetie. I know this must be really difficult for you. But just remember the day you get married you're creating your own family. You've found the man that going to love you and stand by you. A father's job is to give you away on your wedding day and let a new man step in and take over being there for you. It seems to me like your father's job is done. It's time to let your future husband help fill up that whole and embrace all the joys that life is going to bring your way. You get to gain so much on your wedding day and your father and his family are just going to lose out. Don't let them bring you down. Stay strong you deserve your happiness and all the love in the world.

RAJAH

Thank you ladies for your kind words. I appreciate them so much! Cat - thank you for the encouragement, I just have to believe that things will work out.

mandikaykay

I won't tell you I know how you feel because I have not been in your exact situation.  But obviously, you ARE loved...clearly you have a wonderful FI who loves you and there are other family members such as your Nana.  You cannot control how other people conduct themselves.  You are right, your father should sacrifice for you, and so should his family as they are your family members also.  But if he chooses not to attend, that is HIS decision, although painful for you, he will pay a price too.  Tomorrow is not promised to anyone and we ALL must live with the decisions we make.  Trust me, even if he doesn't come, he will feel a stir in his soul the day of your wedding and he will be dealt with accordingly on a spiritual level.  In the meantime, I will pray that you can focus on this happy day.  This will be the beginning of many more happy days to come.  Don't cancel your reception over someone else's foolishness.  I will be praying for you.

alfdallas21

{{{giant knottie hug on you now}}} rajah - I am so, so sorry to hear this as it is unthinkable that you father and his side of the fam would do this to you so close to your wedding day.  However, finish crying your tears then straighten your back and smile to yourself because YOU were the adult and YOU reached out to them to ask them to come witness your happiness by the union of you to your future husband...they choose to miss out on this special day, you didn't exclude them = they excluded themselves POINT BLANK. You are strong, fierce and most importantly YOU ARE LOVED BY THOSE WHO CARE MOST FOR YOU (your beautiful granny, your beautiful daughters, and the MVP of your life - your FI)! Do not let them suckas take your joy any longer! Do not cancel your reception or anything else based on their decision not to come!There is nothing wrong with feeling the way that you do, who wouldn't but honey dust that hateration dust off your shoulder and K.I.M. because you have achieved sooooo much WITHOUT them.  Rejoice in all that you have been blessed with and all that you will be blessed with.The week of your wedding I need for you to absorb all of the wonderful emotions you're gonna feel as you see the people in your inner circle who came to support you and FI.  As the day draws closer, you will begin to radiate your beauty and grace because God has provided you with all that you need!I will definitely keep you in my prayers and keep you uplifted but I do believe that you will find the strength you need when you look into your FI, babies and granny's eyes!  {{{(((tight knottie hug)))}}}

bigshow2882

Sending Prayer your way!

dst10spr97

Rajah. I am sorry you are going through this. Especially when this should be one of the happiest times in your life. But everyone hit the nail right on the head. Your husband to be loves you, we love you, trust me you are loved. Don't let other people's attitudes ruin your special day. That is YOUR Day and HIS Day. They will soon look back and realize that it was there lost and they missed a day they can never get back.

Ladysun083

Aww honey, I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. You will be in my prayers, don't stress and know that they will be tried in Gods eyes for their oh so ugly behavior he will take care of it! You are loved even by ppl that you would least expect.  DO NOT mess up/regret one of the happiest days of your life because of the trolls in your blood line... Stay positive babe, and if anything your I-sisters are here :-)

jonsmeshondra

Rajah...I'm sorry you are going through this. Unlike some of the above posters, I DO know how you feel. Girl, I want to ask you so bad what your father's name is!! Mine is a preacher, has gotten remarried, has 3 grown kids that have kids of their own but are still living at home 1/2 the time. I had my 1st one in high school also. I really have to think about the type of person I'd be IF my father would have been in my life. Although he's a preacher and pastor of his own church, he's constantly cheated on his current wife and has children in various other parts of the US....(another reason why I want to ask you what your dad's name is!!)Just remember... You are about to marry the man you love!  Also...It's the people who ARE in our lives that have truly shaped us into the wonderful people that we have become!! And in my particular case, I am GRATEFUL for the ones that stepped out of my life, father included!! Sometimes it takes a while to see that.I pray the Lord will give you peace in your spirit and in your heart!!

RAJAH

Ms.jons. . . My father sounds a lot like yours . ..  wow! I am sorry you know how I feel because this feeling is just not right. I dont understand and I am just praying that God will help me not look for understanding. I sure appreciate all of  your comments; I am off to see this doctor, I am praying he can help me.

trevette1981

I'm so sorry.  I know you just want to deal with it right now, but you are marrying a man who loves you and wants to build a family with you. Don't worry about what your father or the rest of that side of the family does. You have your mom's side of the family who loves you and have been there for you. You'll still have a great marriage and you still have a great family there for you.I'll say a prayer for you too.

MrsW2000

Hey date twin.  I have to admit I know exactly how you feel.  I have issues going on with my mother and some members of her family right now.  I really don't know if my mom is even gonna attend my wedding.  She didn't come to my bridal shower.  And that hurt.  Those family members I'm speaking of didn't come either.  And I wouldn't be shocked if they don't come to the wedding.  It's hard but the only thing I can think to do is move on.  Like a PP said, as long as FI is there no one else matters. I know it's hard and it hurts because it's a celebratory time and you want everyone to at least act like they give a da*n.  I have so much animosity in me from my situation but if I allow myself to wallow in my own pity it will eat me alive.  If they don't want to share in those wonderful milestones with me than it's their loss not mine.  Continue to live your life to the fullest and don't allow anyone to put a damper on you and your FI's day.  GL and I HTH!

PressMe

Rajah, You are in my prayers. Girl, you are so blessed. Your father may not be who you need him to be, but you you have a wonderful grandmother. She loves you more than he ever could and she has always been there for you. Plus, you're about to marry the man of your dreams. Keep pushing on and let your father and other family members see what they are missing. It's their loss.

KimRhone

I'm sorry that you are going through so much when this is supposed to be 1 of the happiest times in your life. I understand that you haven't had the support of your father and his family but just because his sperm was used to create you doesn't mean that they are your true family. Sometimes we equate having the same dna with someone with them having to be your family. You have to seperate those people who are no good to you and your father is one of those people. You have people who support you; your fi, your children, your true friends. You need surround yourself with positive people and your Nana is 1 of the perfect people to do it with. I'm going to keep you in my prayers

RAJAH

Ladies, Thank you again for your prayers and support! Truly I feel better talking with all of you. I got out of the house today after my doctors appointment and I went and did some things for Fi's b-pics tomorrow; I also picked up Nana's dress from David's Bridal. . . she is so cute!

meccaj

i am  sending prayers ur way... i dont know exactly how u feel but do understand my dad is a crack head, my mom is bi-polar(well acts that way) i have not spoken to her in like a month or so... but like ppl said u are loved. you are marrying the man of ur dreams and thats all that matters. excuse my language but F them! there lost.... now if i could only pratice what i preach(wink)

HisWifey82

I am sending prayers your way...I know how you feel but at least you tried to include him even though he has never been there. You are better than me, my dad has always missed out on important things in my life so I didn't even invite him or any of the people on his side due to fear that they would not come and I would be hurt...Guess what? I had a blast without them!!!!!!!!!! Anyhow, its your day so enjoy it and never ever let anyone steal your shine or make you feel less than...You are a beautiful person and enjoy all the happiness in the world. And people do love you,....

Deidra123

Rajah,I'm sorry to hear that.  If your Dad and his relatives aren't coming, honestly, screw 'em.  It will be their loss if they are that short-sighted.  I don't care if he's a preacher, preachers are people too and sometimes they are WRONG.  Your Dad is wrong.  I would try to not even worry about.  You cannot control other people so try to cut out all of the drama.  If the BMs flake, or act crazy, politely remove them from the wedding.  Done.  If your Dad is acting crazy, re-focus your energy on who is going to walk you down the aisle, if you want a man to do it.  No disrespect to your dad but preachers power trip all the time, like they are G-D or something.  I wouldn't even worry about him.  If he wants to miss your wedding, let him.  Keep.it.moving.

feleciae19

WOW!!! I will pray for you. That just sounds like an excuse to me. I know my dad would miss out on anything to be at my wedding. Maybe he will change his mind. What type of relationship do you all have? Does he like the guy you're marrying? I will pray that he does the right thing. If not just have faith in what the Bible says. If your father and mother forsake you , you always have God.