African American Weddings
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As if wedding planning isn't enough stress

My Dad's girlfriend calls me and says that she wants me to come over and have a meeting with my Dad. Apparently he hasn't gotten his suit yet because he doesn't know what "his roll" is. Last time I checked you were my father, does he not know what the heck the bride's father does at a wedding. It's not like I never even told him that he would be walking me down the aisle, (which just so happen to be the same thing he had to do at my sister's wedding). Seriously it's 4 days before my wedding, you haven't gotten your suite, you wait till now to complain about the price (which I asked him if he was ok with the cost 2-3 months back, and he said it was fine) and now you're saying you don't know what role you will be playing. Screw this I will just have my mom walk me down, heck she's been both my mom and dad all my life anyway. Wait not done yet, I have one more vent. So I call my Pastor this morning to see if she was still going to do my ceremony (mind you she is one of the reasons FI and I planned our wedding so soon, to remain "saved"). She asks me does my coordinator have anybody that I can use to do the ceremony instead. She knows I don't have a coordinator, so I said "I'm sure she could find somebody". Apparently she doesn't have a ride and have a problem with riding with me. Umm, excuse me why don't you just drive your new Acura you just bought. Some people are just so self absorbed that they can't even put their selfish feelings aside for "My Day".K, vents over!

Re: As if wedding planning isn't enough stress

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    edited December 2011
    hold up wait a minute. I have too many things to say about this popst babe..What is wrong with daddie? I think his insecurities are catching up with him.and is pastore "ghetto" no offense, but why is she saying she doesn't have a car if she just purchased a new Acura? Wow.. Just keep your head up and focus on more important things. Dad is tripping..his GF needs to put him in check and make it happen with that suit.. Pastor is tripping... I wouldn't even want her to marry me at this point...hopefully it all works out.
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    alexisrouse00alexisrouse00 member
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    edited December 2011
    Well my venue is 45 minutes away from my pastor, and she doesn't want to drive so far. Dad is a drama king in my eyes right now and I could care less if he shows or not. I'm with you, I got way more important things to worry about. Thanks for the advise!!
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    edited December 2011
    So sorry this is happening to you.  Pops needs to get it together.  What is your role, to show up, in your suit, walk me to the front of the church and sit your silly butt down.  Any questions???  All the rest is bull-ish, so filter that out.  The pastor...really?  I would tell her, "You agreed, you made the commitment to do that and we would appreciate if you would honor your word.  If transportation is an issue, arrangements can be made."  (And have someone else transport her crazy tail to the ceremony and bring her straight home afterwards, since she's pressed for time, I'm sure she wouldn't want to waste any eating at the reception and all.)Just remember, one monkey don't stop now show...so keep moving forward and enjoy your day.
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    edited December 2011
    "now" is supposed to be "no" in last part.  Sorry.
    Bio (updated 4/3/10 with invitations) AAW Board Brides
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    RSVP date: April 23rd Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    edited December 2011
    Yes, daddy's insecurities have finally set in and if you've planned/paid for everything, he's feelin' left out. Goin' through it with my pops, too... If he doesn't have a suit, have mama walk you. I've seen it done before and it was actually really special because we all knew how close mom/daughter were. Pastor is trippin'! Don't worry about, it'll work out. My suggestions (if you want them) see if a notary public can perform the ceremony (they can in Florida, so I've got a friend on deck if something happens). The other option, get married at the courthouse on your lunch break (no one has to know) and have a dear friend or family member perform the ceremony. Timbaland just did this for his wedding. The wedding is a symbol of your union. Take a deep breath. Relax. Make sure you and your soon-to-be hubby are on the same page. Everything will work out! **knottie hugs**
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    edited December 2011
    hold up (I'm working from bottom of post up) - your pastor that you & FI specifically asked to perform the ceremony who now has a new vehicle tells you the bride to be that she doesn't have a ride to the ceremony and doesn't want to ride with you and asks you 4 damn days b4 the wedding if you could find someone else to do the ceremony!?!...WTF!! -- please, please, please if it is possible, please ask another pastor at your church or even your mother's church if they can provide services for you & FI because seriously I don't think you & FI want your original pastor to preside over you since she has shown the lack of consideration to the most important day of your life before God, I'm dead serious...how dare she put that on you like that!as far as dad is concerned - I gotta say, if he really hasn't been that important in your life and your mom played double duty for YOU, then do exactly as you said and let mom walk you down the aisle (tradition states that this is the role of dad BUT IMHO this is the role of the person who was a key person in your life - whether it's mom, uncle, grandmother, etc. it is not just for the guy that help bring you into this world)...I see nothing wrong with telling him "Hey, you know its no biggie when you get your suit or if you get a suit since we discussed it a few months ago as I don't want you to stress out about it; your role is to make it to the ceremony to see me get married to a wonderful man; you and GF will have reserved seats at the front!" simple and too the point and again no stress on you; here's my thing, it seems as though (just from your post) he's not feeling his "role" for you because like you said he's done it before for your sister and the role is still the same but now you can't remember what it is you need to do then let me help you remember - SIT ON THE SIDELINES AND WATCH as that's what you've done most of my life.
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    edited December 2011
    Please direct your pastor to Matthew 5:37. "Let your yes be yes"
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    alexisrouse00alexisrouse00 member
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    edited December 2011
    Dang Alf, nuff said!!! Thats exactly what I was thinking. The only down side to this is I hadn't budgeted for this and everybody is charging $250 or better. I'm sure it will all work out, I just want it to work out now. DH would walk out if she ended up performing at our ceremony.pinkpanther_truck-If I had a dear friend that could do it I would definitely go with them. We actually got married in December, and she married us. So I wouldn't have to go to the courthouse, I just need a stand in. Cat-you are a trip
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    edited December 2011
    what Alf and Cat said Sorry you have to go through this.
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    edited December 2011
    Oh my! My mouth is open on this one. Some parents need the white glove treatment, maybe that's what your dad was waiting for. Now, about your pastor, I often wonder who called some pastors to preach. Being a pastor is not just preaching Sunday morning...it's the ultimate customer service profession. I hope you find someone to marry you asap. Good luck and positive thoughts.
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