struggling with going natural to the alter

tiffboogie76

I have been going natural for almost 8 months now. I have done it by braiding my natural hair. The transition is going ever so slowly. My new growth measures the length of my finger but my hair is at least four inches past my shoulder. I don't want to cut off the rest of the permed hair. The only style that looks nice is a ponytail. That's not my idea of how I wanted to look on my wedding. I was hoping to be fully natural by January (the time of my wedding) and use miss jessies curly pudding to get the curly effect I desired or braid it and take it out for a wavy look. The permed part of my hair won't curl with ms. jessies products and the natural part of my hair looks dry and frizzy when I braid it and take it out. HELP!!!!!I feel like my only choice is to go back to a perm. I have tried several times to go natural and this is the longest I have gone without  perming my hair. I checked out the blog for african american hairstyles for weddings but I was not inspired with the natural styles shown. Help!!!

emme25

Please do not perm your hair and dont look at my siggy pic.  Its a wig Have you tried a straw/or roller set.  I'm not sure how long your hair is or what style you are trying to acheive for your wedding.  If you are not a heat phobic (I am) you could always get your hair pressed for your wedding. Also think about sew ins and wigs.  If your natural hair some length to it you could pull it back in a chignon. HTH

Lovie 129

I agree with pp. Also, go to a stylist who specializes in natural hair, they should be able to help you. There are conditioners that are very good for natural hair, this will  take some research.

2010MayBride

No!!!!!! Don't perm it! LOL I went natural back in June and the experience is well worth it! I had some shock at first because I went from shoulder length hair to less than half a inch! And now my hair is about 2 1/2 Inches or maybe a little longer! Try the Bantu knots..... And let them down...the miss jessies probably would make them look so good! That may work since you don't want to weT your hair in a ponytail!

Spim7

A roller wrap or roller set is a really good idea. It took me 3 1/2 years to be fully natural. But it has been an amazing change for my hair. I have it ironed out most of the time but the texture, shine and body is so much better than it was when I was getting perms and it definitely doesn't break as much. Hang in their girl all you need is to find the right stylist to hook you up.

ladylum

After reading these posts, I am thinking of going natural. It would be less of a hassle. A friend of mine has natural hair down her back and all she does is flat iron it and wear buns but it looks beautiful. I am just tired of getting perms and sitting under a dryer forever. As for your wedding, I may not be natural right now but please don't perm that hair, especially since there are great alternatives for you to look beautiful on your day.

ddyoung

I agree with the previous posters too... DONT DO IT lol. I LOVE the way bantu knots look when you take them down.  And you don't have to use heat to make the curls.  Here's one of the youtube videos on it... but there are probably over a hundred videos so just peruse videos on some of the ways to make them tigher vs looser or how it looks wet vs dry or on shorter vs longer hair: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt0kIhWAiKk&feature=channel you kinda have to fast forward to the end just to see the results.Also, have you ever heard of curlformers? I have fallen in LOVE with them.  You can get them from Sally's' and they are a little pricy but so worth it.  They give perfect curls everytime and are so much easier to use than rollers or flexirods etc.  I may have a pic of how my hair turned out with them you can email me at (deidre dot young at gmail dot com) if you want to see them.  Also have you tried joining natural hair forums like curlynikki.com or naturallycurly.com.  I'm sure you could post that question and find a PLETHORA of responses - probably more than you ever wanted to know but so helpful.  Let us know how it works out.  You will be beautiful either way! GL!

pinkpanther_truck

I've been natural for five years... and I'm planning to use a lacefront wig for my wedding. Please, please, please consider ALL of your options before perming your hair. Someone mentioned a straw set--this is a great option if you have a stylist do it. They can condition your hair so the curls are hydrated and healthy looking and you won't be able to tell where the new growth ends and straight ends begin.

KimRhone

Try pressing it. If your wedding is in January, you won't have to worry about the outside heat and you could always turn the heat down a little inside of your venue. Try a few different hairstyles before your wedding and then take it from there. You won't know if the styles fit you if you don't try it. Please try it. I'm going to go natural after the wedding.

clross01

I agree do not go back to perm.. I have been growing my perm for almost two years..  You can press it out, braids, wigs, sew ins, etc your options are endless. I am doing pressing my hair and adding a bun for my wedding day...

BubblyBoo81

Don't do it!I agree, try a straw set. Don't go back to it. I made the mistake of relaxing mine after being natural for 8 months. I regret it to this day.

sdstephens2010

My hair is natural and I am going to have micro twists for my wedding. They are very small and elegant. The key to maintaining natural hair is finding the products that work. Before adding the Miss Jessie's to your hair, add extra virgin olive oil or coconut oil to the hair. This will help to seal in the moisture. Also, make sure you are not using shampoos that contain sulfate. Berts Bee's, Miss Jessies's and Carol's Daughter all make great natural shampoos. I use them all, because I am a product junkie. Oils are great for natural hair and stay away from hair greases. They contain bees wax and parafin, which will build up on the hair and cause it to break. Do a co-wash (washing with conditioner only) as often as you like. Natural hair LOVES water!Stalk some of the profiles on www.fotki.com. Type in keywords like natural, nappy, afro and etc. You'll open up a world of natural women sharing their product reviews and hair styles. I hope this helps!

tamtam7

I've been wearing my hair natural for 10 years and I agree with the others do not perm your hair.  There are so many options.  I like the straw set idea.  I straighten my hair now because I live in the antebellum south and know that wearing my hair natural could present a problem for some.  Otherwise I would rock the style in my siggy .  I love the youtube video.  I may try some of those styles out myself.  Also the suggestion to get on natural hair forums sounds like a good option.  You may consider pressing it and putting it in a chignon.  That would be very elegant.  For the wedding, I'll probably straighten my hair and then do spiral curls with the curling iron half up and half down.  With your hair length the possibilities are endless, but I probably wouldn't cut the permed hair off until after the wedding if I were you.

sdstephens2010

Check out this profile: http://public.fotki.com/moniero/wedding-photos/

missjones2009

I'm natural, though I wore my hair straight for the wedding--and it held up great in the 80+ degree weather that day. I am a memeber of curlynikki.com forum too, you may want to check out their forum and ask the ladies their for ideas styles and more, natural hair wedding pics http://curlynikki.forumotion.com/

trlee26

I agree DON'T DO IT. You have come this far. If going natural is what you want don't take two steps back. I had been natural for 3 years and then I got lazy and got a relaxer. Huge mistake. That was 2 years ago. My hair grew out and I had about 6 inches cut off. Still had some stringy ends. That was the longest my hair had been in years. Because my natural hair was not thick enough yet I wore a curly weave for my wedding. DH is not a fan of weaves but he can't stand straightened hair so the weave was a good compromise. After the wedding I had ALL of the permed hair cut OFF. I've been rockin a full curly bob and I love it and so does DH. Definitely try to find a hairstylist that specializes in natural hair. If I would have taken my own advice.....

rands09

So glad I found this board! I am in a similar situation - I have done the big chop several times over the past 10 years, but each time my hair got between 3-4 inches long natural, I'd always seemed to perm it again. Part of it I'm sure, was not being aware of the products that would work well for my hair, and honestly, the longer my hair gets naturally, it takes a little longer to maintain daily!I am now all natural (again), I did another bc this past May 1st, had about a half inch of hair, if that, and I totally love it! The thing is, I would recommend exploring the option of wearing the TWA - I have learned from this past grow out that I actually love my hair when its natural and short (between half inch to 1 inch in length)....My problem, like you were stating, is how to wear it on the wedding day. I can't lie; I've been tempted to relax again, but I know that I don't want to do that. So, I'm thinking of just going with my short natural, but its hard to find a veil as most have combs....but back to you - I agree with pp - don't do it! You have come a long way---you can get through this phase! All of us who have grown out naturals have been  there....hang in!!

tiffboogie76

I just want to thank everyone for the tips, links, and encouragement. I will be married in St. Lucia in January at an outdoor wedding. It is a lot cooler than during hurricane season (May - November). I live in St. Thomas (though originally from NY) so I know what the heat can do to my hair. hence the desperation. however, i am inspired to try to find a solution that does not involve a perm. I have never had a straw set. i will try it. As a child, I only had my hair pressed once so that will also be a relatively new experience for me as well. Miss Jones your wedding pics are fabulous. What did you use to get your hair that way? Press or flat iron. I wanted a similar look but was concerned about the humidity. I have had a tough time finding products that can stand up to the Caribbean heat/humidity without making my hair look dry. Though with all the tips and links I hope to find some products that work. Thanks ladies.

missjones2009

Thanks Tiff, I went and had it professionally shampoo'd, conditioned, and straightened. She used "it's a 10" leave-in spray and blow dried it straight using a denman brush, then she flat-iron/curled it with the flat iron as she went along. I had it done 3 days before the wedding b/c I got married in Ohio, and hair done in Chicago. I kept my hair back in a loose bun with a satin scarf wrapped around the front if I wasn't out--I moisturized and oiled my hair for those 3 days so it would be less prone to be attacked my the humidity b/c it was properly moisturized.(Humidity is mostly successful in frizzing up hair that is desperate for moisture.) The night before the wedding I went over my front edges with a small flat iron and re-curled my hair with a big barrel curling iron and set it with soft satin rollers over night. Then morning of the wedding I took down the rollers and used a wide tooth comb to style. I used a holding spray lightly on the hair to hold the curls thorugh the day.HTH!

tiffboogie76

Miss Jones: Thank you!!