First Couples Counseling Session (long)

mycicybride

Well ladies our first session was a tear jerker but...a blessing came out of it. Brace yourselves, ladies! 1. FI and I have decided to postpone the wedding. 2. Reason for the postponement is to refocus on HH priorities mainly both of us are in school and the pressure of school and wedding planning with lil money is driving a BIG wedge between us. 3. The big reveal...I have a confession to make....FI has been laid off since Jan. This fact has put a BIG STRAIN on the planning and the closer the day gets with no job for FI, the worse it gets. The blessing....we are refocusing on us & completing school. So money saved is going to be put away for the day we both want and can afford to splurge on. Hell...Sky+Carla here I come in 2011. Now...I will still be here in full force cuz y'all know...I luv weddings! Feel like a big weight is lifted off my shoulders and when we do set another date we both will be working and feel like it is a joint effort. I usually don't open up like this but...maybe this will bless someone. Luv y'all! CiCy

braxtongirl

Girl, I applaud you for facing a situation like that with your big girl panties on and all hicked up. This wil make your relationship stronger! There is nothing worse  then starting off a marriage in debt. Wait and have the wedding you want! Remember No regrets because once its over, you can't have a do over so wait!! I think that you will see later that this was te best thing to do for your marriage, not your wedding!My two cents!

kristi0618

Well if y'all both feel like waiting is the key I say go for it. LOL. I believe that waiting will give you time to save and plan the grand affair that I know you want to have.

[Deleted User]

Hey girl,I am sorry but I also here u loud and clear! This can b a good thing...continue to focus on yall and the wedding will still happen when things r better.Believe me it has been a finacial strain with us as well so I do understand. FI is working now but he went through months of another situation where he wasn't really gettting paid at all and it was/is HARD!! BUT God is faithfully so keep praying and working on yall and this to shall pass!

MIABRIDENTAMPA

I applaud you and fi, for realizing whats important. Take a step back and just know 2011 will soon be here!!! No worries. Plan the wedding you want when you all can afford it !!!! My prayers and encouragement are with you all:)

brobin01

Aww... Well I encourage marriage counseling to everyone b/c it really lays out REALITY and puts it right out there on the table. I am so happy that you are looking at this as a blessing, b/c it truly is! Is so important that you two are focusing on yourselves instead of focusing mainly on the wedding. I wish you two the best!!!

candydip

I am praying for both of you.  Your wedding will be even more FAB in 2011.

alfdallas21

CiCy, girl you and your FI have taken a major step in your relationship and that's understanding what is really important to you NOW...agreeing to wait until it is the right time for you guys to focus on the wedding is the key to making your relationship work for the long haul.  There is nothing wrong with understanding your reality and setting your goals to make it happen for YOU.  Big ups to you girl and please continue with the fabulousness that is the I LUV WEDDINGS BlOG!!! 

BubblyBoo81

Nothing is wrong with dealing with a situation straight forward. Most people would keep going, starting off in a bad situation, keeping up with appearances. I am sure once school is done, y'all will have an even better wedding! And even MORE money for Sky+Carla photos! (when when I looked at one of the recent weddings they did, most of the Kappas I knew in undergrad where the groomsmen! It's a small world!LOL)

MrClintonsFirstLady09

I can't say anymore than everyone else has said on the board. All I will say is be encouraging to one another and continue to stay encouraged that God will work everything out. God Bless and stay prayerful.

YasJas2011

I am glad that you all are doing what you have to do to make things work with your relationship. I hope that every thing works out for the best! Well you know that I know more than anyone that 2011 is far enough but close enough to have a fab wedding! GL to you hun!

clross01

Everyone has said what I want to say. Please be  and stay encouraged and know that whatever choice you make as long as God is involved it will be the right choice..

mycicybride

Thx my knottie sisters! I luv y'all for real.

Blkswnn

Ditto to pp.  Bottom line is that you two have to do what is best for you.  I definitely admire the two of you for acknowledging your prioritites and not getting sucked into what you think you should do or what other people will think if you postpone the wedding.  Much Respect!  You know I'm here if you need me.

KimRhone

Thank GOD you guys have done this!!! You may have just saved your relationship. I'm happy that you decided to postpone the wedding to focus on things that are priority and I appeciate you for sharing this. I can't wait to start counseling because it helps you to learn so much about yourself and your spouse

Lovie 129

This is why I love counseling. Great things will happen and already have for you both. Strain on your relationship because of finances is not cool at all.....AND men tend to equate their masculinity with their earning potential, it's good you both came to a mutual decision without belittling one another. I'm very happy for you both, and this did bless me. Thank you for sharing, and I will always need inspiration for wedding stuff and strong black relationships in the making! You Rock!

Ladysun083

I am proud of you Cicy, it takes a strong/smart woman to realize and go through with what you did.  In the long run it will benefit you & FI and make your relationship stronger.  Sending positive vibes...and your butt better not go anywhere!!!!  where else are we going to get wedding porn

ChocolateDelight

I applaud you and FI for making such a courageous decision.   It is true that love alone cannot make or keep a marriage together.  Marriages need lots of stability, especially financial and emotional stability.   Continue to work together as a strong and united team, and before you know it, 2011 will be here.   As you know we are only a post, email, or phone call away, so holler if you ever need us.    We love you and we are going to be rooting for you all the way to the altar and beyond.Stay sweet and stay blessed.  

tamtam7

I agree with everyone else.  I am happy that you and your FI have made a decision to focus on what's truly important.  And I am so excited that you both are focusing on your education.  That is awesome!  I'm glad you will continue to post on this site and will continue with my favorite blog I LUV Weddings.  I look forward to the updates.  Your wedding is going to be sooooo awesome in 2011!

OFF

Ditto what everyone else said. It tales a lot of courage to take a step back.

miss2mrscj

Ditto what everyone else said. I applaud you and FI. This just proves how strong you all are together. Please don't take aways the I luv weddings blog.

mahoganieyes

Aww Cicy you know what your prioritizes are and focus on that. Don't worry 2011 is coming.....

mycicybride

Thx again y'all. Don't worry ILW will still go on strong.  Luv inspiring others.Tune in tomorrow on ILW....dresses for the lil peeps in your weddings.Cicy

2010MayBride

I AGREE WITH THE LADIES HERE!! I THINK EVERY COUPLE SHOULD CONSIDER COUNSELING SESSIONS.  THIS WOULD BE BETTER FOR YOU AND YOUR FI IN THE LONG RUN.....AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS! YOUR WEDDING WILL BE 10X BETTER IN 2011 IM GLAD THAT YOU WILL STILL BE HERE BECAUSE YOU ARE SO GOOD AT HELPING OTHER BRIDES FIND INSPIRATION!!!

mandikaykay

I agree with what the other ladies already mentioned.  It seems to me that a weight has been lifted for you as well as your fi.  I would also like to thank you for having the courage to come here and post about this.  You are right, someone else may be going through the same thing and you have just blessed them with your knowledge.  I pray everything goes well in your relationship.  And I will continue to look forward to your ILW Blog, cause it sure is fantastic.  Continue to nurture your connection with fi and all will work out in God's time.

Mypasmita

I respect you guys for making this hard but right decision for you guys. I am glad you will keep your blog up.