Drama and a half- massive vent- Long

Hallanole

I just need to get this out. So please forgive me.

FI has...now had; his brother as best man. His brother has failed him in a major way. The boys were given a deadline of May 1 for tux fittings and to do payment plans with tux place. We used a family run place, not a standard Mr. Tux. Family run also donates every year to my former HS. I wanted them for the feel good feelings they provide, the intimate service, and the quality of customer service. Because they are a small chain of only 2 stores, there was an earlier deadline for fittings. FI was fine with that.

So FBIL has know about wedding since July 2010, was asked to be best man way back then cause that was what FI wanted. Dec we sorted tux looks. Told goomsmen in Jan where tuxes were, and cost. As I believe way beyond ample time for tighter budgets to work out and sort out any issues. Yeah, so I thought.

FBIL was advised end of Feb deadline for fitting was May 1. FI puts together a guys day for Friday advised FBIL of everything. FI goes to FBIL business on Friday to help work for free for his older bro of 10 years. FBIL is in his 40's.

FI says to FBIL "You are coming today right?" FBIL tells him how he doesn't have money and he should be sprung with this last minute. He's not sure when he will have money for this. Tells FI that he isn't sure he wants to do this as he doesn't know anyone and doesn't feel comfortable standing up in front of people. FI was very WTF?! as he has waited to tell us this now?

So FI is upset and fed up. he has demoted his brother, asked his best friend to stand as his best man, told him all the FBIL info.

Then add in further drama that if I don't get away from this stuff, I am so going to end up eloping....

FMIL and I get along, she is as old as my grandparents too. So mom confided in me that she was planning a shower for me with my MOH and when she invited FMIL mom was advised she couldn't make it and FFIL would not attend. (Fyi- FFIL hates me but has not met me. I am not even allowed in house when FFIL is home.) Mom even stated if it was regarding a ride, she would get her. FMIL said after "Oh Mr and I might be going away that weekend." I have no idea when, just know the drama.

Good news came out of some of the weekend. FI put his foot down on FFIL as Mr did not want to wear a tux. He finally agreed to wearing a tux for FI and do the FOG pictures and such.

Just trying to deal with the drama and trying to make FI decide, do we go a man short, ask my brother to step in, or a friend that is a sig other to my BM/cousin who knows the drama offered to step in and do anything to make our day a happy day.

I just had to get that out. I've become an emotional wreck this week and there is some family dynamic issues on my side that are stressing me out further, and trying to plan everything in the meantime and not fight with FI because of stress. *exhale*

Why didn't we just go to Vegas like I wanted????

timsflower81

So sorry to hear about all this stress and drama you're having with your wedding planning.... It's a shame that some adults can be completely self-centered jerks.  I think the best thing you can do is surround yourself with the people who truly do care about you and your FI.  It sounds as if you have both gone above and beyond to be accommodating for FBIL... if his heart isn't in it, then its best someone else stand with your FI or just use the groomsmen you already have.  The whole "stand-in" thing makes it seem like you're using someone as prop even though they volunteered... The wedding party should be the people you are closest to and bring out the best in you and FI, not people who incite drama and stress.  

Your FFIL needs to grow up, seriously? He hates you but hasn't met you - that is so immature.   He should be ashamed of himself for causing such stress for his son's most important day of his life....  he should be thrilled that his son found someone to make him happy.  As long as you're married in the end, that's all that matters..  This drama is unnecessary and doesn't deserve your precious time of stressing about it.  Keep your friends and family that can't wait to share in your special day around you.  Hope things get better soon.