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Holidays...How do you divide them?

This seems to be the hardest thing for FI and I. His immediate family is here and a few close cousins, etc. My entire family, immediate, etc reside in Mississippi. We cannot figure out what to do. My thought was to do Thanksgiving with one and Christmas with the other and then rotate. Well FI is not feeling this he thinks my family should spend those holidays with us here at least some of them primarily because he is a manager in retail  and will not be able to spend those holidays away.

Those of you with families in different states, how do you divide your holidays with FI's family?
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Re: Holidays...How do you divide them?

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    edited December 2011
    We are struggling with this as well.

    We became a couple in July 2007 and spent both holidays apart.

    In 2008, I spent Thanksgiving with his family (they'd just lost his grandfather the month before) and we spent Christmas with our families separately and I went to him after Christmas Dinner with my fam.

    Last year, I spent both holidays with his family and my family joined us on Christmas evening because he'd set up the surprise proposal.

    This year, we spent Thanksgiving with our families separately and he came to us on Thanksgiving evening after dinner with his fam. We still have no clue what to do about Christmas.

    Like you, I feel that we should rotate. He disagrees because he really only has his grandmother, mom, and uncle and uncle is often away for work and his mom and grandma do limited doses of each other. I see his point, but can't see not ever spending holidays with my family. We will probably have to host at least one of the major holidays every year at our house and have both families come to us...maybe we can rotate that other holiday.
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    edited December 2011
    We have been talking about this. Last year was the first year I spent Christmas away from my family with his family in Belgium and I enjoyed myself, but it didn't feel like Christmas. His parents are very refined and fancy so Christmas was very formal and I am not used to that at all.
    Since he is Belgian he has never done Thanksgiving ever until this past week. He enjoyed himself beyond reason.

    Right now it depends on what country we will plop down in. (hoping for the US) then we will rotate Christmases. Thanksgiving always USA.
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    msapril0730msapril0730 member
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    edited December 2011
    FI and I have been together 8 years in April, so our first 2 or 3 years as a couple we would spend all our holidays separate. I would be here in Maryland and he would go to Florida. I started going to Florida with him for Thanksgiving because I wanted to spend a holiday with him and still allow him time with his family since he only sees them 2-4 times a year, he continued to spend Christmas there and I stayed here in Maryland.

    Now that we have a child together we are trying to modify our holiday schedule. We are thinking to rotate holidays between Maryland and Florida, Christmas and Thanksgiving here one year and Florida the next.
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    edited December 2011
    We will probably spend most of my holidays with FI's family here in Houston since my Mom is deceased.  I may consider spending a holiday or two with my father in Louisiana once we're married. We generally visit him for either Memorial Day or Labor Day weekend anyway. I love my Mom's family but they are soooo depressing sometimes!
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    edited December 2011
    Well even though the distance between FI's family and mine is only about an hour and a half, this was the first year for Thanksgiving that I spent away from my family.  Normally we spend holidays seperately though, and this Christmas will probably be that same way.  When we're married, we'll probably end up doing both families in the same day since they're not that far apart.

    But in your case, if your FI can't get off work, then maybe your family should try to come see you.  Otherwise, you could just go see them? HTH
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    prncszprncsz member
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks guys! This is his first year working retail. Last year I spent Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine. The year before I spent Thanksgiving home and Christmas with his family but he came home with me the weekend after Christmas. This year I'll spend Christmas with my family since I didn't go home for Thanksgiving. We both agree next year Christmas will be here. That is a pretty good idea. I'll see if the family will be up to coming to Florida for Thanksgiving. My grandmother on my dad's side is not much of a traveler so we'll see.  Thanks ladies we are both big on family so it's hard to comprehend not spending at least one of the major holidays with my family and vice versa.
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    edited December 2011
    we rotate....last year we did thanksgivinh with his fam and christmas with mine. This year we did thanksgiving with my fam and christmas with his.
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    cincy2011cincy2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    My parents live all the way in Nevada and his are 4 hours away in Michigan, so they win every time.  We have spent every holiday with his family since I met him.  That said, we do go to my family reunion every year and stay about 5 days, so my family is happy with that.  They are used to me not being around for holidays b/c I've lived away from family since I was 23. 
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    edited December 2011
    His family lives in NY and my family is in Florida, so he pretty much always wins when it comes to "holiday time". My DH is also in retail so has to stay close to home.
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    edited December 2011
    My FI and I alternate holidays like you mentioned. Maybe your FI could request one holiday off every year. Whichever holiday he gets off, you guys could travel to visit your family.
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