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African American Weddings

How can you uninvite someone...

to your shower and of course your wedding.  Ok - I know this is really awkward.  I have an associate that is really just jealous of EVERYTHING I do.  I kind of had to invite her because she works under me in my business and the rest of my team is on my invite list.

My MOH sent a text message asking for RSVP's the other day and she got an attitude with her via text then called a friend/team member of mine to talk trash about my upcoming shower/wedding/ anything else. Not sure why she didn't expect this to get back to me - especially when she called the mother of my flower girl!  But the friend reminded her - she could always decline the invitation.  The unhappy person is really just jealous cause she and her guy have been in a relationship for 10 years and he's had 4 children on her ( people only do what you let them), and they  are no where close to getting married.

At this point, I honestly dont think I want her anywhere close to anything nuptial related because I feel that she will just have her nose stuck in the air about everything, because she is such a HATER and I may come out of character and do something unbecoming - like hit her at the wedding or shower.  So - any suggestions on how to address this, or just uninvite her tactfully.

Undecided
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Re: How can you uninvite someone...

  • edited December 2011
    Thats a hard one. Usually Im not a fan of univiting people. She sounds horrible. But as the saying goes, when people arent happy with themselves, then they cant be happy for anyone else. You could just try to ignore her at the shower and wedding. And if it becomes to much for you to handle, then ask her to leave. Im not sure that there is a tactful way to do this. Maybe if you actually talked to her about what was said already, then maybe you can make a decision from there. If you still feel like you dont want her there. Then say based on this conversation I dont think that it is appropriate for you to attend these events. So I would appreciate if you wouldnt. HTH

    Honestly my bridezilla side wants me to tell you to just tell her to kick rocks with flip flops on. That advice  up there is my nice side. lol
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  • edited December 2011
    It's YOUR wedding and you have right to invite/uninvite anyone you want. You could say you want your day to be special and DRAMA Free, and you dont want anyone there is going to be negative or non-supportive.
    June 26th, The day Wallace and I become One. Put God First and everything else will fall into place.
  • edited December 2011

    I feel exactly like Kia. Sorry this is happening.
    Part of me wants to say kick her out but I don't think that's the right way to go about doing it. The wedding is one day and you still have to work with her afterward. Not worth carrying this issue over to other areas of your life, cause that's what will happen if you uninvite her.... The issue will get bigger than what is is right now.
    I say just try to ignore her at the shower/wedding. And I think there will be so much going one you won't even notice her. 
    People will always talk about your wedding- good or bad and there isn't much you can do about that.
    Sorry. Hang in there!

  • bbyckesbbyckes member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, you're probably not even going to notice her if she shows up.  If you've already sent her an invitation, it's up to her to decline.  Don't stoop to her level by "uninviting" her.  From what I've seen and heard, brides don't even notice when people who have given them problems show up. 
  • bbyckesbbyckes member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_can-uninvite-someone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:18e0869d-b928-4055-b5c3-5670dcd68591Post:d7362ab9-ec36-42c5-9593-020581f185bc">Re: How can you uninvite someone...</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's YOUR wedding and you have right to invite/uninvite anyone you want. You could say you want your day to be special and DRAMA Free, and you dont want anyone there is going to be negative or non-supportive.
    Posted by TAGSSKEE1[/QUOTE]

    Right, but her day could probably be drama free anyway.  Think of the implications this could have on your work relationship.  Uninviting someone in this instance, IMO, isn't worth all the potential drama that could be created. 
  • edited December 2011
    This is hard. I'm not a fan of uninviting ppl either. Did you send out STD's? Invitations?  I think your friend should continue to remind her that she doesn't HAVE to come to any events-shower or wedding. Other than that, just ignore her.
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  • ladylumladylum member
    500 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    IMHO, kill her with kindness. Who knows? By showing your appreciation of her showing up, she may have a change of heart and reexamine herself. Stranger things have happened! I agree with bbyckes. You don't want to do something that will carry over to the work relationship.
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