African American Weddings

encouragement needed!!!!

hi everyone,

i am in desperate need of encouragement.  since becoming engaged my relationship seems to be going down hill.  my fiance seems so withdrawal...it's hard to for me to be happy and excited when the person i'm marrying is so uninvolved and downright sad.  when i try to get him to talk about it, he gives me one word answers and then changes the subject.  we start premarital counseling next week but i'm really wondering if this is a growing pain or a sign that maybe we should not be getting married in a few months.  what do you all think?

Re: encouragement needed!!!!

  • ufsweetiebearufsweetiebear member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think marriage counseling will be a tremendous help. A third party (especially if it your Pastor) can really bring you back to what's important in this engagement and in the marriage as a whole. Either way, I think you'll get an answer in your sessions.

    GL! I'm sure it will all work out!
  • edited December 2011
    I agree the premarital counseling will give you the answers needed. Just go in honest and ready to talk it out.


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  • happe2getherhappe2gether member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sorry to hear you are having problems with FI right now.  Counseling certainly will help I'm sure.  Hang in there and hopefully he will open up to you to let you know what's really going on.  He might just be getting anxious a little early. I hope it all works out.
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  • edited December 2011
    thanks, everyone...i am definitely looking forward to counseling and will be sure to keep everyone posted.
  • OFFOFF
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You know DH and I went through a bumpy period too after becoming engaged and then moving in with each other, but we managed to get through it.  Sometimes the realization that this is IT can be overwhelming and make a person pull away.  I think counseling is a fantastic idea and that it will help you and FI figure out what is really going on cold feet or something more serious.  Hopefully once you are both able to talk it out you will know where you stand.  Whatever happens it's better to find out now.  Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    Take heart. FI and I went through the same thing. I also get a little anxious as well which causes me to shut down. But I know it isn't cold feet and is more out of my wanting to have space. FI has become very astute to this and oftentimes will just give me space when he notices me pulling away and oftentimes, its only lasted a couple of days. I guess at my advanced age (32), I am used to living on my own.

    Goodluck and hope everything works out. Pre-marital counseling will definitely help.
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