African American Weddings
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Officiant Drama

I am starting to get extremely frustrated.  Longer story..slightly shorter.  When FI and I got engaged in November, there was all sorts of drama with where the wedding would be and who the officant would be as well.  Actually the drama stemmed from his mother.  He and I have always been on one accord. Both of our families are Catholic but as I've gotten older and "grew into my own" I've stopped practicing. I've been goin to non-denominational churches for the last ten years and so has FI even though when he goes home to visit, naturally, he attends our families church.  It is in these churches that I truly developed that relationship with God that I always desired.  Anyways, his mother wanted his God father who was a Catholic deacon (at our families church) to marry us but we're not getting married in a church (were getting married in front of the San Diego harbor).  So basically they told us if it wasn't at a church he couldn't do it.    My pastor at my church here in MD didn't think he could do it because he was only ordained to marry in the DC/MD/VA area.Anyways...eventually FI decided that (he's deployed to Iraq right now) the chaplain who does the services at the base he's deployed at could do it.   He spoke very highly of her and said when he discussed it with her she would be more than happy to do it.  Now here is the latest drama.  Every since MARCH maybe even earlier I've been trying to get this woman's ADDRESS so that I can send her an invitation or even an EMAIL so that I can just discuss some things with her.  Do you know my FI has asked her ATLEAST 20 times for her address and sent her about THREE emails asking her for it and she STILL hasn't given it to us.  My thoughts right now are: if she can't even take two seconds to provide her email address or even REMEMBER to give it to him for that matter, how in the world is she going to remember our WEDDING DATE??  I feel like she's kind of flaky at this point and would rather go with someone else.  Everytime I bring this up to FI he gets super irritated (not with me, with the Chaplain).  So at this point I'm looking for another officiant just as a plan B because I feel like this woman is going to be a no show and quite frankly she's not one of my favorite people right now.  What's funny is that she's the one that leads the two of the sunday services, she's at choir practices AND conducts the Bible Studies...ALL OF WHICH FI ATTENDS, so how can she not remember and why can't she just give it to him when she sees him why does she have to email it to him??  Can yall tell I'm annoyed.
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Re: Officiant Drama

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    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry to hear about this drama.  I think I would proceed with plan B because she has been given ample time to respond.  Good luck with this.
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    prncszprncsz member
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    edited December 2011
    I would also go with another officiant.
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    cincy2011cincy2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    Agree with the PPs, I would look into another officiant.  Good luck and sorry for this drama!  
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    edited December 2011
    Definetly have a plan B!


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    edited December 2011

    I agree with pp, you should have a plan B just in case.
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    edited December 2011
    I would make a different selection.  We skipped over some vendors because of this issue. 
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    edited December 2011
    Thats so shady. I say find a new officiant. One that that you will be comfortable with and confident in. Even if she shows up now, all you will think about at the altar, is how crappy she acted in the beginning.
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    edited December 2011
    Hey NeColeMonet:  Sorry you are having to deal with this foolishness... but.. let your Plan B become your Plan A.  If she cannot manage to respond either verbally or in writing to your request or provide the necessary contact information,.... let it go BEFORE it becomes and issue... It is quite possible as well as probable that she will either not remember to officiate or will have never marked it on her agenda.... 

    Make other arrangements and KIM (Keep It Moving)!!!

    That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. 
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