Minus One....

MrsJenrette

Soooo... I've been going through a lot of drama with my FSIL in the past couple of months in regards to her position in the wedding as a BM.

Long story short (and believe this IS the short version)... When FI and I initally annouced our engagement, before I could even ask her to be in the wedding, she informed him that she didn't want to be in it... She just wanted to be a guest and enjoy herself.

That was fine with us, and we even talked about giving her another important role in the ceremony. Then a couple of months later.. she changed her mind. Because she is FI's sister.. I was more than happy to have her be a part of the bridal party.

Little did I know that it was going to cause such stress! From the beginning when I was choosing the dress all of my girls were a part of the process. I wanted to have thier input because I didn't want them to feel uncomfortable in the dress.. I wanted them to feel beautiful/sexy!

The dress was chosen, and from there.. I did all the foot work needed to get them pricing from 3 different stores that were in thier vacinity (my BM's were in 2 different states). I specifically stated in all of the emails that I sent out (a total of 5..beginning in August), that I didn't mind how they wore thier hair or makeup.. and as long as the shoe was ivory/creme they could wear the ones they wanted.

Yesterday I receieved an email from her saying that she no longer wants to be in the wedding. Stating that I was "un-organized , and there was no communication" and that "she is not accustomed to the way I do things". She even went as far as to accuse me of not wanting to go with her to try on the dress when she wanted to (which is crap, because FI told me that she wanted to wait until she lost a little bit more weight before she went to try anything on!)

I responded, letting her know that I was sorry that she felt that things were unorganized and that there was no communication, and told her that I respect her decision.. but in all honesty.. I'm beyond pissed!

I called FI and let him know her decision.. and according to him her griping (yes..apparently it's not the first time) has even got thier father fed-up with her!

I'm relieved that I don't have to deal with this anymore, and that my other girls are on one accord.. but this chic is about to be family!... I don't even know how to approach her after this!

UGH!!!

MrsBoss2012

I feel you! I'm starting to bump heads with my FSIL and its like...wow this is only the beginning because after the wedding we will be family. Don't sweat it MrsJenrette. Luckily she backed out of the BP on her own so you don't have to deal with that. It's obviously not you if FI and Dad are tired of her crap too. We know there is one in every family even our own. You just learn to take the good with the bad and don't take it personal.

djscat

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_minus-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:25507724-ce93-4627-ab10-d940325c23ffPost:4f074bee-4ae3-48ab-aefb-cfe6a3ef692c">Re: Minus One....</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel you! I'm starting to bump heads with my FSIL and its like...wow this is only the beginning because after the wedding we will be family. <strong>Don't sweat it MrsJenrette. Luckily she backed out of the BP on her own so you don't have to deal with that. It's obviously not you if FI and Dad are tired of her crap too. We know there is one in every family even our own. You just learn to take the good with the bad and don't take it personal.</strong>
Posted by MrsBoss2012[/QUOTE]

THIS!!!  I say be thankful the heffa backed out on her own before you had to put her out. LOL  In the future when you see her be cordial but you don't have to be her friend. As long as FI understand it's not you then I say you don't have to fake the funk if she isn't willing to extend the hand of friendship let alone family.