African American Weddings

What time should I put on the invitation?

I'm not sure if this is going to sound like a dumb question, but my wedding is going start at 5:30pm and my wedding planner suggested that we put 5:00 on the invitation because of CP time.  She was saying that if we were white people getting married then it's fine to put 5:00 since they're usually the ones who are on time.  But for us black folks (and you know this is true!) we can't ever be on time to save our lives.  So do you all think that I should take her advice and put 5:00 or put the actual time of 5:30?  For you married ladies, did you notice any people who showed up late?  I'm afraid that if I put 5:00 on the invitation, the people who are on time are going to be sitting there wondering when we're going to start and I don't want them to get upset.

Re: What time should I put on the invitation?

  • edited December 2011
    No way. Alot of people might actually be there 30 minutes prior. I would suggust 5:15.  the young crowd is late but the grown and sexy adults are always early or ontime and  they will be upset to find out that they were there an hour early. just my $0.02 .....
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  • edited December 2011
    I am putting the correct time. If the ceremony has started you will not disrupt. Luckily it is outside, so if they did arrive late, they would have to stand off and still be able to see it without being disruptive!!!!
  • needle&threadneedle&thread member
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    My cousin started her wedding an hour late, 2pm (invites said 1pm).  The reception was on time though and very scheduled...seating, processional w/announcement of party, toasts, seated dinner (comedian), dancing (contest), cake cutting, garter/bouquet toss and thank you's with cake were given out in 3 hours, flat...but it wasn't rushed.  It was so cool...I was home by 6pm.

    So, I guess you could 'fudge' the time; but maybe you should try to have the preceding events scheduled to be on time.  By the time the wedding occurs they know that they have to be on time or they will miss the entire wedding.  Sometime we have to lead by example--not to be funny--but 'train' them.

    You really don't want them late for the reception...it's wasted food at $???.?? per plate.

    Hope that perspective helps...

    S and CJ

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  • sadou02sadou02 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You should put the correct time.  It is unfair for those who do decide to come on time.  I had a serious about this with my MOH a couple of weeks ago and she was trying to get me to put a fake time.  But I told her that I am not a person who likes to be late to appointments so I expect the same from my guests and told her that I would start the ceremony with 1 or 100, it didnt matter to me. i also told her that I would leave her behind if she was late.  She is notorious for being late.  I know we will be getting dressed together but she can still be late. 

    A friend of mine got married last year and put 2:00 on the invitation.  I had to leave work at 1:30 and rush home and get ready to make it to the ceremony.  I sped and made it there at 2:15 and was so dissapointed in myself. When I got there there were 5 other people there.  So I wasnt late but I then recently found out that she put 2:00 but the real time was 2:30.  In my mind I was like what if I got a ticket or something?

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  • adgenyaadgenya member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I put the correct time and started 3 minutes late (no one came to tell us we were ready to begin). Our guests were there 15-20 minutes early, so if we had the wrong time, they'd be sitting for 45-50 minutes. You're dealing with adults, and adults should be able to get where they need to be on time. If they're late, they'll just have to wait until you walk in or they'll just miss it. 
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the feedback everyone.  Even though my wedding planner's been in the industry for 20+ years, I didn't agree with her advice.  This makes me feel better about putting the correct time on the invitations.
  • edited December 2011

    I put the correct time and one guest arrived a couple minutes before I was suppose to walk down the aisle. Everyone else was really early.

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  • TNMurrayTNMurray member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it all depends on your people. My mom's wedding was last weekend, we started about 20 minlate and people were stedily coming in. Ihave arrived to weddings late and was still sitting for 30min. The one wedding that I got to on time was late. FI has a theory that no black wedding starts on time and so far he has been right. I don't support this thinking but guest may feel the same. Persoonally I won't mind starting up to 15 min late if people are stedily coming in and signing the guest book. I will have music starting from the arival of the first guest and maybe even additional entertainment starting at the correct time so that if people are late they won't miss the bridal party walking in.
  • edited December 2011
    I would put the correct time. One monkey don't stop the show....kwim? As long as the parents are there, everyone else can miss it.


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  • sheshedukeshesheduke member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I am putting the correct time on my invites. I agree as long as you FI and the minister is there then whoever is late will just be out of luck I hate Tardy people.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_time-should-put-invitation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:27758c07-985f-4113-915a-55d25daa049cPost:d63374a3-2f05-464b-84ee-79abd144227a">Re: What time should I put on the invitation?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am putting the correct time on my invites. I agree as long as you FI and the minister is there then whoever is late will just be out of luck I hate Tardy people.
    Posted by shesheduke[/QUOTE]

    I'm doing the same.....
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_time-should-put-invitation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:27758c07-985f-4113-915a-55d25daa049cPost:2ec7860d-c927-48e2-abe4-3d06cc79737b">Re: What time should I put on the invitation?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I put the correct time and started 3 minutes late (no one came to tell us we were ready to begin). Our guests were there 15-20 minutes early, so if we had the wrong time, they'd be sitting for 45-50 minutes. You're dealing with adults, and adults should be able to get where they need to be on time. If they're late, they'll just have to wait until you walk in or they'll just miss it. 
    Posted by adgenya[/QUOTE]


    ditto.
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