Betrayal of a friend to get married 2 weeks after mine- advice please

Mrs.Polynice

So my sister has a friend who've I gotten to know real well over the past two years. I saw her as my big sister since she's like 7 years older then me. I told her like everyone else when I was going to get married as well as when I'm having my bacherlorette party.
II find out this passed weekend that she's engaged- I was happy for her. Then I found out she decided to get married two weeks after me. She's only been going out with the guy for like 4 months and just bought a house with him. :what is right!!
I've been messaging and calling her to talk to her but, she's not responding. To make things worse she made my sister her maid of honor. We also share alot of the same friends. My sister tells me she doesn't know if she can pay for things for both our weddings. I told her thats not my problem I got engaged first and her friend knew that.

I'm sure to see this "girl" again and feel I will most likely go off on her. What should I do? I feel very betrayed and feel like my day and all attention on me is being split between me and her. Helpp!!

Carla1019

Maybe I didn't get the full story but are you angry because her wedding is two weeks after yours or that one of her pre parties will fall on your wedding day?

Also when is your wedding? These details will help me to understand a little more.

Thanks!

hatroopes

I also don't get why you're mad that she set her wedding date 2 weeks after yours. If she picked the same wedding day as yours, then that would be a different story, but IMO I don't think she did anything wrong. There may be other factors that prompted her to pick said date. When is your wedding? If it's really close, then maybe she is busy sorting out wedding plans and that may be why she has not responded to your calls. Also hopefully your sister has enough time to save up money for both weddings. I think you should just wish her well the next time you see her - and focus your energy on your own wedding 

sweets18

Yours is first, so the way I see it you will get all the excitement, finances, etc and by the time hers rolls around people will be over it...lol... Either way don't worry girl and don't waste any energy being upset. The people that love and care for you will do what they need to do to make your day perfect.

lisa4766

I too dont really see what the fuss is.... Is it that your sister now has to choose, your wedding as a BM  or the friend's wedding as a MOH..??? Depending on when you are getting married, some of the cost can be paid over time... Not sure what all your sister has to pay for.  Maybe you should have a long talk with your sister and find out what she has to pay for.  Then come up with a way for her to not have to choose...
Again, we all may be missing something...

kiyamurph

Honestly, I don't get why you feel betrayed.  You know how it is with wedding planning, there could be lots of factors as to why she picked her date.  I see your date is on May 25th of next year, so she's getting married in June which is prime wedding season.  Things book a year in advance and it could have been that the venue she picked only had her date available.  Don't be so quick to take offense and think that it's personal.  I'm sure that when she settled on her date she didn't do it on purpose just to hurt you.  I think you should take this time to focus on you and your wedding because take it from all of us, this time will fly by and your wedding will be here before you know it.

Also, when your wedding day comes around, people won't be focusing on her and her wedding that's coming up.  People will be there to celebrate with you and your FI and it won't be about her.  I really think that you may have put a little too much thought into this.  Please don't go off on her when you talk to her.  If anything, try to be supportive.  You said she's like a sister to you, so maybe the two of you can plan things together instead of not getting along because you're upset with her.  Now, if she had picked the same date as you then this would be a whole 'nother story, but 2 weeks after is really not a big deal. 

lil01

I agree with the ladies. Its not that big of a deal. As for your sister, she's already stated that she cannot afford both weddings, which is understandable since they are only 2 weeks apart. I would not worry about the girl, but talk with your sister about what she is planning to do. If I was your sister, I would definitely be apart of "your" wedding if I had to choose. Ya'll have some time to work it out.

Mrs.Polynice

My wedding day is May 25,2012. Her wedding is June 8th. Its an issue because we share the same friends. They'll be torn between going to my parties and hers. Also, she's been ignoring me when I ask her if she'll be able to attend my parties. I feel since I got engaged first over a year ago see could have moved her wedding at least a week so it wouldn't be hard on our mutual friends to go to both of of wedding things.
I asked her about her date and she said there was no particular reason. I don't see how we could go to each others events if they'll be so close together.  This person said she was my friend and my big sister. Then she picks a date that will take away attention to me and share it with her.
If that was your friend, sister or whatever you would feel betrayed too. I don't think it's wrong to be upset that she couldn't move her date a week so we can have our own individual attention as a bride.

eagles347

I'm sorry you're upset, but like the others, I don't really understand your position. I'm sure your friend didn't pick her date to spite you. I wouldn't think anything of anyone having a wedding two weeks after me...two weeks before me would bother me more, but even then, I wouldn't stress it. Focus on  your day. Talk to your sister so you know what's up. Continue planning your wedding and realize that your wedding day and your pre-festivities are the times when people get together and celebrate you. It may seem like the world is revolving around you at that point, but in reality, everyone still has their own lives to live from day to day. Life goes on even if your life is centered around your wedding at this time. I'm not trying to preach, but it is something that was told to me and I appreciated it because it kept me grounded. Please don't go off on her...I cannot possibly see that going well and she won't look like the one in the wrong. Hope you feel better soon! *hug*

Mrs.Polynice

Thanks for all your advice.  She's not busy my sister told me she got my messages but isn't responding. She doesn't have a venue yet so her date wasn't chosen because of that.  Its not about her choosing that date to hurt me its about being courteous and choosing a date not so close to mine.  Maybe I am over thinking it. I hope I'm wrong.

I won't go off on her. I'm just disappointed.