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Near Tears...Need to Vent....Long Story!

Why is it that the people that should be happiest for you are the ones that cause drama?  I am praying that I don't call my mother and go off, I know no good will come from me disrespecting my mother.  Anyway, my sister is pregnant and no one is happy about it.  She is very needy and competitive so she is planning her shower a week before my wedding but her baby is not due until December.  I think that my mother should have suggested that she have it after but instead my mother tries to make me feel guilty because things are going well for me.  To top it all, she called my best friend and went off on her telling her she is my flunky and she does my dirty work, and that I dont' want my sister to have a shower at all.  So not fair.  My sister calls my friends and tells them her business, so my friend just asked her why did she choose October to have the shower.  My sister told my mother that my friend wants her to change the date. My mother was planning my shower but now she told my friend it is all on her and she is only contributing chicken.  I say cancel the whole thing because I didn't ask her to do it anyway and I don't even eat chicken!!!  What do I do to keep confusion down so close to my wedding date.  I am really hurt that something can't be for me just once.

Thanks for listening.
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Re: Near Tears...Need to Vent....Long Story!

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    happe2getherhappe2gether member
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    edited December 2011
    Lean on your friends.  They are there for you. They will get you through this.  I think a heart to heart with your sister will make a difference.  She has to see the hurt to understand what is going on.  As for mom, tread slowly.  Although what she is doing seems wrong, you are right, we only get one and it isn't good to go off on her.  I hope your sister will think about it and change the shower date and I hope everything works out for you in the long run. 
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    edited December 2011

    I'm at a loss for how to help with your sister. Her calling your friends and then twisting their words to your mom seems very shady to me. As for your mom, do you think you could calmly talk to her and tell her how her actions are hurting your feelings/upsetting you?

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    edited December 2011
    She knows but when it comes to my sister, it doesn't matter.
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    edited December 2011
    So okay let me understand this scenario:

    You are the one who has accomplished something and your sister is not doing as well. So your mom tends to put favor towards your sister in an effort to protect her from further hurt **assuming**. You on the other hand feel like everything is always about her (your sister) and are pissed?

    I personally think that they should have the babyshower the following weeks after your wedding. Why can't it wait???? That's disrespectful to you. I understand that we only have one mother and all but if this is a constant battle then you have to speak your peace as well. I am just playing devils advocate and saying if you had done this would it be deemed as okay?
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    desi2002desi2002 member
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    edited December 2011
    I would see if you and your friend can get together and get things taken care of. Sorry to hear about the drama.
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    edited December 2011
    Thats such a shame !. My best friends family is the same way. Her little sis gets all of the attention and does things on purpose to keep it that way. Its been that way since we were younger and they only recently started to become close to each. I dont know really what to say. Ive seen the hurt that this stuff causes. Dont cancel your shower. See if your friends can help you. And invite your mom and sister anyway. I know that it hurts but try to just focus on your happiness and dont worry about them. I know that maybe hard. But you deserve to be happy also. And if they cant help with that, then they have to be placed to the side. sometimes you have to remove yourself from bad energy, even when its family. I hope that it all works out for you. HTH
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    edited December 2011
    Man this is crazy.  Forgive your mom.  Dont worry about your sister or her shower, just go and smile.  If you do not have a shower how will you feel? DId you really want one?  If your friends are willing to throw it, let them, if no one steps up then just move on.  Its not much that you can do but pray for your family.  They are being petty and I have seen stuff like this before in families.  I do not know your situation, but I have seen families that totally disrespect the wishes of the person who is well off and doing better then the other family members.  People can get jealous and its sad but true. 
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this drama, but don't let this get you down.  Sad to say, but that's probably what they're wishing, so I say if your friend want to take over your shower by all means allow her. 
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