What should the bridesmaids be doing?

mrswac58

Ok so I have been getting hassled , for lack of a better word, by my mom and bridesmaids about what they can do to help me with the wedding. I truly feel blessed and appreciate all the support but I really don't think there is anything for them to do right now.My mom actually thinks i'm lying to her and just trying to not include her. So that brings me to my question. What are your BMs doing to help you and what do you plan on asking them to do? All but 1 bm live in other states so going dress and shoe shopping just hasn't been an option. I just don't know. I have good intentions and feel like maybe i'm missing something

brittanyjterrell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_should-bridesmaids-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:4e1114e7-6352-461f-baf9-635426803cd8Post:eb699ef4-a107-4725-bdc8-8f459c0f2556">What should the bridesmaids be doing?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so<strong> I have been getting hassled</strong> , for lack of a better word, by my mom and bridesmaids about what they can do to help me with the wedding. I truly feel blessed and appreciate all the support but I really don't think there is anything for them to do right now.My mom actually thinks i'm lying to her and just trying to not include her. So that brings me to my question. What are your BMs doing to help you and what do you plan on asking them to do? All but 1 bm live in other states so going dress and shoe shopping just hasn't been an option. I just don't know. I have good intentions and feel like maybe i'm missing something
Posted by mrswac58[/QUOTE]

Same here! I feel bad that I can't include people in more than I already have, my grandmother called me so upset because she feels as though she isn't doing anything. I basically assigned my BMs to small tasks the day of, example: 1 to make sure that we are going according to schedule, coordinating the First Look & Bridal Party portraits, 1 that is doing hair (and getting paid for it) of my other BMs and 1 that will be in charge of making sure my day is as stress-free as possible (this is something she assigned herself to! lol) .. Doesn't have to be anything too big for them to do..trust..on your wedding, ALL THE SMALL THINGS COUNT ;)

mahoganieyes

If they want to help...let them! What about centerpieces, assembling invitations(maybe too early), decorating the broom(if you plan on doing that?), decorating unity candle, designing or printing menus, place cards, table numbers etc...?

chescam

One of my BM helped assemble the invitations. Another one communicated with the other girls to arrange transportation. And another BM is in charge of making sure the girls get their hair and makeup done on time. They keep asking what I need help with and so far, I haven't had much for them to do. If they ask, please take them up on their offer. It'll take some stress off you.

japonica334

Im at a stand still with this issue right now. My BM's are very helpful and always ask what can they do, but aat this particular moment im not sure! Later on though, I should have an idea on a few diy projects that they can help me put together but thats all i can think of.

mrswac58

@Japonica- That's the same thing I said. We still have 6 months to go.Invites aren't going out til after the holidays, there are no projects to do as of yet. All i'm doing is playing on the knot and looking for my shoes,(i did solicit help for that) That's why i feel like i'm missing something. I am in a different state from them so its not as easy for me to involve them on what I'm doing at home. But I will have plenty for them to do starting a couple months before. I planned on giving them jobs but nobody believes that there is nothing to do right now.lol Tell you what, I better not hear any complaints when I start handing out asignments.lol

Ksk2012

so my older sister has kinda felt this way and my mom. The same mother who started out saying this is your wedding and I dont want to get in the way of that! Now she is complaining that she isnt in the loop. So what I do is email them some of teh daily georgous weddings posts, I email them links to shoes, invitations, and stuff. when I see something I plan on buying from like ebay or something I call and tell them. Then they feel involved but arent actually doing anything. Really right now 6 months away there isnt much to do.  I am still buying a lot of stuff online and putting my plans together.

I try to send something via email at least once a week so they feel like they are up to speed. Or I will just call and tell them I found this or that online and tell them how I plan to use it.

Gets them off my back and outta my ear!!

wallacje

My BM's were doing the same thing, but I just didn't have anything for them to do.  I was more of a control freak for the wedding and was fine doing things on my own.  Its nice that they are offering but its okay if you don't have much for them to do.  I found that they really helped the day of with directing people places, finalizing things, making sure I ate, etc...

Be happy they are offering, I've heard stories where the bride needs help and they (BM's) don't want to do anything.  Although they are not really required to anything but buy the dress and show up the day of the wedding.

egammo3

My BM's keep asking as well, but I just feel that having them as a part of the wedding, is a good enough task for me, however, the most recent task I gave was to get addresses from our guests so that I can send out save the dates & update list for invites. I included the members of the WP that I knew would get it done and not procrastinate. I divided the contact lists so that it didn't just fall on 1 person, and they would be comfortable calling people they are familiar with. My MOH (sister) is in charge of my family, one of my BM (a college buddy) is in charge of getting all the addresses for our college friends,  FSIL & FMIL are in charge of calling their side, and I will get all others. I gave a specific date that I needed to have them. Everyone was excited, and on board!

japonica334

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_should-bridesmaids-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:4e1114e7-6352-461f-baf9-635426803cd8Post:da33bd6f-a794-4c17-8d55-7efce08eb932">Re: What should the bridesmaids be doing?</a>:
[QUOTE]@Japonica- That's the same thing I said. We still have 6 months to go.Invites aren't going out til after the holidays, there are no projects to do as of yet. All i'm doing is playing on the knot and looking for my shoes,(i did solicit help for that) That's why i feel like i'm missing something. I am in a different state from them so its not as easy for me to involve them on what I'm doing at home. But I will have plenty for them to do starting a couple months before. I planned on giving them jobs but nobody believes that there is nothing to do right now.lol Tell you what, I better not hear any complaints when I start handing out asignments.lol
Posted by mrswac58[/QUOTE]

Exactly!! lol  Come December and January they are gonna wish they hadnt asked...lol  At this point like you, Im just on the knot and other sites trying to settle on what ideas to take. Hopefully this can be set in stone soon on what i plan on actually doing! :)

faithlady

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_should-bridesmaids-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:4e1114e7-6352-461f-baf9-635426803cd8Post:da33bd6f-a794-4c17-8d55-7efce08eb932">Re: What should the bridesmaids be doing?</a>:
[QUOTE]@Japonica- That's the same thing I said. We still have 6 months to go.Invites aren't going out til after the holidays, there are no projects to do as of yet. All i'm doing is playing on the knot and looking for my shoes,(i did solicit help for that) That's why i feel like i'm missing something. I am in a different state from them so its not as easy for me to involve them on what I'm doing at home. But I will have plenty for them to do starting a couple months before. I planned on giving them jobs but nobody believes that there is nothing to do right now.lol Tell you what, I better not hear any complaints when I start handing out asignments.lol
Posted by mrswac58[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I thought I was the only one! I'm BORED man lol

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