I had posted this in another forum, but I wanted the opinions of my fellow AA brides.
There is someone who has been in my life since I was about 5 years old (we'll refer to her as H). She was actually my babysitter and our families attended the same church. I've always told her everything and looked at her as my big sister.
While I was attending college, she did and said some things that were hurtful. She lied about me. She also told her mom, “She’ll have to make her own friends while she’s at school because I don’t have time to be spending every weekend with her.” I also learned that she was reporting personal information to her mom who was in turn reporting to my mom. It wasn't any major information, just information regarding the occasional conflicts that arise between college roommates and friends, boys, etc. My mom never repeated the information to me, but when I did tell her things, she would say that this person's mother told her. My mom wouldn't get mad or upset with me but she did tell me that I had to be careful about what I told H. Therefore, I stopped telling her information.
2009 was a busy year for me. After 27 years, I met my father for the first time and this was a positive, but stressful task. But with the grace of God, I was able to establish a relationship not only with my father, but with his mother, siblings, nieces, and my two half sisters as well. I told H that I made contact with him and was thinking of having him, along with my mom, give me away at the wedding. She replied, "You shouldn't do that. He hasn't been in your life all this time." H and her father don't have the greatest of relationships and I feel as though she was comparing my situation to her situation. Both situations are very different.
She has also made some rude remarks to me which were very hurtful. I haven't spoken to her on the phone in about 4 months. Should I still invite her or should I not invite her? I've tried telling her how I feel and she doesn't listen to me. My mom and FI feel as though I should invite her to the wedding and reception.
Other knotties have told me to invite her and try to talk about my feelings to her. She’s never really listened to me and I feel as though she’s judged my actions but forgets how she was when she was in college. Should I really make amends and invite her and her mom or should I not invite her at all?