RSVP Headache..What would you do? (kinda long)

star135

I have 3 cousins (and their spouses)  that I have been unable to reach since I've sent out the invitations. The RSVP deadline on the card was 4/1, but the real RSVP deadline is 4/21 (no way we were going to tell the guests that).

FI has several ppl that want to attend, so we're waiting to see who is not coming, then after 4/21 we plan to fill a few of the empty slots with the people on our "waiting llist." Here's my delima.  My cousins that did not RSVP are local and I'm afraid they may just show up since they have an invitation and feel they have a right to attend since they're family.

Would you let them in or instruct the hostesses to not allow anyone in that is not on the list. I kind of don't think it's fair to hold the slot open for them when we have ppl that definitely want to come and celebrate with us. It's also extremely rude since these same cousins CALLED ME to make sure they get an invite! The least they could have done was responded by now.

I'd like to hear your opinions please.

OFF

I would give them one more call and tell them if they are unable to make it let you know and if you dont hear back from them by the next day they will not be on the list and not allowed in.  I would stress that no RSVP means no admittance.  If you dont hear from them invite your waiting  list and then be hardcore about only letting people on the list in. It's their own fault not yours.  They are being rude and inconsiderate. 

MAGNUM06

Hi Star...Make one last follow-up call...With a 24 hour window for response... The first was last week.... If they do not reply verbally or respond to your phone call... Fill the seats with your other guests....and instruct your hostesses NOT to allow anyone in that is not on the list or without specific instructions from you or FI.... I don't know why folks think they can NOT respond to stuff and then SHOW UP....with expectations..... mmmmmmm  Not so much.... I wouldn't let them in... Nope... I wouldn't... that was what the RSVP was for... Let your verbiage of choice be... "When I didn't hear from you, even after I called... I assumed you had decided not to attend.  I filled your seats with other guests."  That will shut it right on down!!!  That's my story and I'm sticking to it....You would think that since they REQUESTED an invitation, they would respond....

happe2gether

Agreed!  You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink.  Give them one more shot then if they don't follow through, they got to be cut. Been there, done that before with another wedding = no fun.

1TriniDiva

Agree with pp, try and call one more time. If no answer then on to the people who really want to come.

star135

ok, thanks ladies. I will try again tomorrow.
By the way, I just got a response from one of the people that I left 2 vm's for already. She didn't even have enough respect to call ME, so she told her sister to tell me she's not coming. HOW TACKY!!! The worst part is that I sent a stamped RSVP card and also had an 800# set up in case they wanted to RSVP that way instead. Geez!

@MAGNUM06,
I love your idea. I think I will write that down for the hostesses so they can quote it to anyone bold enough to show up...lol

winter443

How many people did you end up having to call?  My RSVP deadline is Friday and I'm still waiting on A LOT of people.

And how is she not even going to call you???? Sending messages through her sister? uhhh, people people people

star135

Between FI and I, we ended up having to call about 30 ppl. We sent out about 100 invites, so "I guess" that's not too bad. I had about 20 people call the 800# to RSVP. Especially just days after the initial deadline and a few days after, so the 800# came in handy.  It was a free number & I just had to pay when ppl called it.