African American Weddings
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Ceremony Program and Memorial Candle Issue

Intro:
Yesterday I decided for us to do memerial candles. {An added DIY project.} 

The deceased:
My dad, my grandmother, and my grandfather, his mom, his grandmother, and his grandfather.

So, this is how I want it to go:
I want a candle for each individual. For my dad, I'll let my my lil sis be escorted down the aisle and light his candle. My grandmother's candle lit by her sister. My grandfather's lit by his only remaining sibling, his sister. His mom's lit by her sister. And IDK who would light his grandmother and grandfather's.

My problem is this:
In the program, I want the people to know what's going on. Who's candle is being lit and by whom. I thought about putting it on a separate "Memorial Page", but I want them to know in ORDER. {Duh, it's the ORDER of ceremony! lol} And I want them to know who our parents are and who is escorting them.

The question{s}:
What should I do? Should I try to put it all in the "Order of Ceremony"? Should I put it on a separate page? Should this happen BEFORE the seating of the parents so that it CAN go on a separate page? But then my mom would miss her parents' candles being lit.... MAYBE there can be a whole page dedicated to the parent's entrance and the memorial ceremony? IDK!!! HELP!!!

Re: Ceremony Program and Memorial Candle Issue

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    msapril0730msapril0730 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I want a candle for each individual. For my dad, I'll let my my lil sis be escorted down the aisle and light his candle. My grandmother's candle lit by her sister. My grandfather's lit by his only remaining sibling, his sister. His mom's lit by her sister. And IDK who would light his grandmother and grandfather's.

    Can you have your DH light his grandparents candles?

    In the program, I want the people to know what's going on. Who's candle is being lit and by whom. I thought about putting it on a separate "Memorial Page", but I want them to know in ORDER. {Duh, it's the ORDER of ceremony! lol} And I want them to know who our parents are and who is escorting them.

    Since it's something out of the norm I would put it on a separate page. You can just explain briefly about what's being done and by whom. Maybe you can even add a small little poem.

    What should I do? Should I try to put it all in the "Order of Ceremony"? Should I put it on a separate page? Should this happen BEFORE the seating of the parents so that it CAN go on a separate page? But then my mom would miss her parents' candles being lit.... MAYBE there can be a whole page dedicated to the parent's entrance and the memorial ceremony? IDK!!! HELP!!!

    Maybe when you do the order of ceremony you can put under memorial candle see memorial page or something. I know that when I go to weddings I usually flip through the program while I'm waiting for the ceremony to start so you may not even need to include the words "see memorial page". I would definitely include it on a separate page. Who's escorting your mom down the aisle? Have your sister do it so she won't miss the candle lighting or have your mom and sister light the candles, or have your mom light both. I don't think you need a whole page dedicated to the parents entrance.

    I just confused myself.... Hope I didn't confuse you!


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    tyboydtyboyd member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you. My mom (I'm sure) don't want to light my dads candle because they were not together. And my sister isn't her child. My mom is being escorted by my uncle, her oldest/only brother. Great advice! Thanks.
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    Karamel_bpKaramel_bp member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm confused by the entire situation, so if youget confused by my response then just ignore it.

    I agree that you should use a seperate page as a memorial page, and only dedicate that page to them. If you are including your parents on the program I would add it in were you put the bridal party. And just have it in order as to who is coming out and with whom. And if you do this I do think you should put the see memorial page on there as well. Just because you don't want people to get confused about what is happening.
    Anniversary
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    cincy2011cincy2011 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would do a separate page b/c it will take more explanation and you won't have room on other pages.  I would add it to the cermony order and just put (page 3) next to it so people know to look at page 3 to see details about what's going on.

    Would you consider doing one large candle and putting pictures of your deceased relatives around it and you/your DH can light it before your ceremony starts?  That may simplify it, and still allow you to show your love and respect for those who have passed. 
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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    edited December 2011
    I was having this same issue. I decided to do 1 large candle- my granny, uncle,god mom and nephew who recently past. Behind the candle I purchased a large picture frame that will hold each of there pics, the candle will burn through out ceremony. The same wording in which Im putting on candle will be put on a separate page so guests know what going on. I decided to do it once everyone is seated. This way my parents will get the chance to view it.

    The program again will say In Memory Of Dedication (See Page 3) or what ever the page number is. That page will include a poem and the names of the loved ones lost.
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