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African American Weddings

Writing my vows, critique me!

So I have rewritten my vows a thousand times, and this is what I have come up with. So ladies please give your honest opinions and grammer corrections. Thanks. 

 
CompleteTo my hero, my savior, my heart, my everythingI love you not only for what you have made of yourself
But for what you have made of me, complete
I have realized from the startYou are truly the air that I breathe, the sight to my eyes The other half to my being, the beat to my heart, You are the circle to my world that makes me completeSo Today, I promise to give you the best of myself
I promise to respect you as your own person and to realize that your interests, desires and needs are no less important than my own
I promise to cater to you, adore you and honor your decisionsI promise to be your backbone, and your superwoman
I promise to share with you my time, my attention and to bring joy, strength, and imagination to our completion
I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of
my fears, feelings, secrets and dreams
I promise to grow with you and to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting
I promise to love you in good times, bad times, ups, downs and turn arounds
with all I have to give and all I feel inside
as long as we both shall live
Because who am I with you……………Complete!

Re: Writing my vows, critique me!

  • edited December 2011
    BEAUTIFUL!!!  you did a great job!  just throw some periods in there and you'll be ready!  i tweaked my vows 3 times until i was completely done. 
  • edited December 2011
    awwwwwww this is beautiful.

    I REALLY would like to write my own vows but FI doesn't want to =( I love professing my love for this man and he is just too shy to do it in public.

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  • edited December 2011
    IBeautiful,  wish I could write my own, Im so emotional im gonna be all tears, at this point im hoping I can repeat the vows.
  • sheshedukeshesheduke member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Love them. That is so special i know my FI would never do vows he is so shy
    :( But you did a great job!
  • edited December 2011
    Absolutely Beautiful!!!!  The only verbiage that kind of sticks out to me is the saviour part...but I'm sure you know the context of what you mean... The only thing I really saw was a few missing periods or commas, as I've illustrated below... Other than that..... An Absolutely Beautiful tribute and declaration!!!

    To my hero, my savior, my heart, my everything! I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you have made of me, complete. 
    I have realized from the start, that you are truly the air that I breathe, the sight to my eyes, the other half to my being, the beat to my heart, you are the circle to my world that makes me complete.
    So Today, I promise to give you the best of myself.
    I promise to respect you as your own person and to realize that your interests, desires and needs are no less important than my own.
    I promise to cater to you, adore you and honor your decisions. I promise to be your backbone, and your superwoman.
    I promise to share with you my time, my attention and to bring joy, strength, and imagination to our completion.
    I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my fears, feelings, secrets and dreams.
    I promise to grow with you and to be willing to face change in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.
    I promise to love you in good times, bad times, ups, downs and turn arounds.
    With all I have to give and all I feel inside as long as we both shall live
    Because who am I with you……………Complete!
  • cincy2011cincy2011 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    These are wonderful!  No critique needed, you know the words you want to say.  Love it - can't wait for my vows to come together...right now, they are just a bunch of bullet points that I need to put together into a few paragraphs....
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