African American Weddings

How long is (was) your engagement?

Ours is going to end up being a little over 17 months. Some of our family members, friends, etc who have gotten engaged after us are marrying in one to two months. What made you all choose your timeline for marriage did you want more time to plan the wedding, schedule conflicts, etc?

For us, it was a combination of schedule conflicts, we didn't want to get married around birthdays or holidays, I'm starting grad school next month and I always wanted a spring/summer wedding. So that pushed us into the next year. I also wanted to wait until my braces came off in June of 2011. We both agreed on either April or August of 2011 and due to my train tracks chose August to be safe.
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Re: How long is (was) your engagement?

  • cincy2011cincy2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    We will be engaged for just over one year.  We waited b/c I moved to Cincinnati to be with FI and I felt I needed at least one year to get adjusted to my new home, my new job and the new city.  And I wanted that time to plan the wedding while I was in town.  We were initially going to get married in January 2011, but because its so cold in Cincinnati plus me feeling like I needed more time to just live in the same city with FI and enjoy that period in our lives, we moved it to June 2011.
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  • edited December 2011

    For me, it was a 1 year and 4 months.  We got engaged in April and I wanted a summer wedding, but I needed more than 2-4 months to plan.

    Long engagements (over 2 yrs.) are frowned upon, but IMO it's nobody's business but the two ppl getting married. I feel several factors go into this: finances (do bride and groom need time to save?), children , types of jobs, age, etc.  My co-worker's daughter just got engaged and her date is over two years from now. But my co-worker says "she's 22...there's no rush".

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  • amberlynnedamberlynned member
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    edited December 2011
    We initially wanted about a 15 month engagement,. but we ended up postponing it and now we've been engaged for 25 months. Everyone else in family is engaged for about 6 months tops so our situation was very unusual for them :)
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  • ufsweetiebearufsweetiebear member
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    edited December 2011
    Ours will end up being about 16 months. We were engaged Memorial Day 2009 and the wedding is this Labor Day (Sept. 4). We waited for a long weekend to really enjoy family. I wanted Memorial Day 2010 (because it would've been our 5 year dating anniversary too!) but every married couple we know has a May anniversary and that didn't fly with FI. So we skipped the fourth of July (too controversial) and went for September.
  • edited December 2011
    We'll be engaged for 19 months. We picked our date for a number of reasons. Booking any venues/photographers/etc would have been near impossible for 2010...Then since my parents are footing a huge part of the bill, they had one request, to do it between August and November of 2011. Fi and I dont mess around during football season so anything in late August and afterwards was out. So we picked a random Saturday in the beginning of the month.
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  • edited December 2011
    Our engagement will be one year to the day. We knew we wanted to marry within the year and since our dating anniversary fell in August, we figured we would just go with the day he proposed.
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  • TNMurrayTNMurray member
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    edited December 2011
    We will be engaged for 15 months. FI wanted a summer wedding. We just bought a house and I lost my job so finances were not available. Also my mom is getting married in oct so we couldn't get married before her. Before coming on here people made me feel like my engagement was extra long.
  • lca315girllca315girl member
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    edited December 2011
    We were engaged a little over 22 months.
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  • edited December 2011

    We were engaged for close to  a year and a half. It was mostly money. We didnt want to put all of our money into it that quickly and have to start over with our savings. And in the long run we wound up with more help. because we stretched it out, both sets of parents were able to contribute.

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  • edited December 2011

    By the time I walk down the aisle, I would have been engaged for 16-months. We wanted to save up since we're both paying for the wedding ourselves.

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  • adgenyaadgenya member
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    edited December 2011

    We were engaged in December 2008 and got married June 2010 (18 months).

    -we knew we wanted a June date

    -i wanted to be finished with grad school and have a job before being married

    -my older brother was getting married Nov 2009 and we wanted to have enough time to help enjoy planning his wedding and planning mine

  • edited December 2011
    Ours will be over 2.5 years because we both have children (which makes it hard to save) from previous relationships and we are paying for the wedding by ourselves. So in order to have the wedding we want and our honeymoon in Paris, Rome and the Amalfi Coast we figured we NEED to start saving now. 
  • edited December 2011
    Originally we were suppose to be engaged for 23 months because I'm in grad school and I wanted to wait till I graduated. But Peanut popped up and we made our engagement only 11 months.
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  • edited December 2011
    Our engagement is a little over a year.
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  • M1ssJM1ssJ member
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    edited December 2011
    ours will be 3 years, 2 phd programs, 2 full time jobs , and paying for everything ourselves. Our whole family objects but I told them objections must be accompanied by a check ,lol.
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  • edited December 2011

    After we both say "I do", we will have been engaged for 10 months.  We both wanted a Fall wedding and actually selected the date and started paying before FI proposed.  That was August 2009 and FI proposed in December 2009 (asked my Mommy for my hand in November 2009).  We knew we wanted to marry and also knew finances were key.  Our wedding is 10/3/10 and our parents and siblings are aware of how we started our planning process.

  • kahbkahb member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We will be in engaged for about 2 years before the wedding. We got engaged last Sept. 6 (my b-day) but FI didn't want to start planning right away so planning didn't begin until about Jan. We are leaning towards Aug 2011 so that I will have finished my msw by then.
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  • edited December 2011
    Our engagment by the day will be 1 year and 11 months. I was always the type of person who said I only wanted to be engaged at least 6 months to a year and then a wedding had to happen, but things had to be different. My FI is from a totally different country and I'm finishing up school in the US. One of his parents first rules was that I had to be done with school when we married, so I will be done with my first degree. Enough to get a job and start working on the next degree.

    Our wedding date was originally this coming August and we would have been engaged about 9 days shy of a year. Things changed and I'm more satisfied with the plans of this wedding anyway so it was meant to be.

    Great fact: By the time we get married we will have been engaged most of our relationship than just together. He proposed to me after only 6 months together. He was going to wait until 10 months when we would have been in Paris for New Years, but he had the ring and he said he couldn't wait.
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  • monet7383monet7383 member
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    edited December 2011
    We got engaged March 2010 and originally was gonna have a 2-3 year engagement due to wanting to pay for everything by ourselves. But after attending a friend's wedding shortly after, FI picked a date at the reception. So by the time we say "I do" we will be 3 days shy of being engaged 18 months. 
  • sheshedukeshesheduke member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We got engaged Christmas Eve 2009 and when we get married it will be 21months later. We wanted a fall wedding plus the time to save up and pay for it. We are getting a lot of contributions from family which is great and I think it is because of how long we have to pay things off.
  • edited December 2011
    We are rolling in just around two years. We wanted to save and had family drama to deal with.
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  • edited December 2011
    Exactly 18 months!!  We are paying for everything ourselves plus we have kids!!
  • edited December 2011
    We got engaged March 5, 2010. We will be engaged for 26 months. We wanted enough time to play, he and I both have full time jobs and I am in graduate school for the next year. My FI is also in in Florida in the Navy. We are paying for most of the wedding ourselves, so we need more time to save.
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  • edited December 2011
    We got engaged August '09 and will be married October '10, so that's a little over a year.
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  • edited December 2011
    Ours will be right around 2 years...we got engaged in May of 2010, and are looking at spring/summer 2012. Since we're paying for it ourselves and wanted a spring/summer wedding, next year is just not enough time to save up. In our circles, the average seems to be somewhere around a year and a half, so I guess it's fairly normal. We'd rather save up and work hard to have what we really want -even if it takes a while.

    But I have had those pain-in-the-ass comments from outsiders why we are waiting so long and don't just JOP it. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but we don't freakin' want to...that's why!
  • cutielocks08cutielocks08 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My honey and I are not officially engaged yet (he says the ring is coming soon) but we are currently taking premarital classes at his church.  I expect that our engagement will be short (no more than two or three months).  We wants to make it permanent before the end of the year.

    First off,  I'm older (just turned 40 two days ago), he and I both don't have kids and we want at least one child and we've been celibate since we started dating and plan to be up until our wedding night.
     
    Plus, I don't want the hassle of a big, expensive wedding.  We plan to do a destination wedding with just the two of us and probably our parents and a few others.  Our parents will be paying for it(I'm the only girl and he's the baby of his family).  We'll have a celebration at home after we get back.
    Edited to update:  It looks like we'll probably end up having a wedding here in our home state but it will still be small and intimate.
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