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African American Weddings

When Mom meets MIL

I feel like I'm anxious for nothing but here it goes:

Soo my FI's family is from the "hood" a little country hood . My family is Caribbean but we are no strangers to struggling and the hood ourselves. My mom (love her dearly) is a bit snobbish and extra religious( no radio, cable, cursing,etc) and I am really nervous about her meeting his mom and his family. I can admit I'm still trying to be comfortable around them myselves. His family lives in Houston and he's only taken me there once in 5 years of dating , my family lives in Miami, NY, and MD and he has gone to at least 4 family gatherings (large family think 14 aunts and uncles plus spouses and all the kids).

Here's the deal my mom says EXACTLY whats on her mind at all times and his pretty offensive at times. I've spoken to her about it but hey she's 50+ and isnt about to change. In August when my FI graduates from grad school I invited FMIL to come dress shopping with my mother and I ( fmil has no daughters and Im marrying her oldest son). I already went once with my mother AND am going once again with my mom and 6 aunts  but I really wanted to include FMIL in some small way. This will be the first time the moms meet. Problem is I'm scared my mother will act snobbish towards her or not play nice. Am I being paranoid or do you think I should wait and arrange another time for them to meet? How do you think would be best to introduce them?

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Re: When Mom meets MIL

  • edited December 2011
    I think going shopping is the best way for them to meet. There is an activity going on and its not just sitting at a resturant or in a living room. If you have a stable relationship with your FMIL maybe talk to her and tell her that your mother is a certian way and don't take it harshly if your mother says something out of line.

    My mom and FMIL have never met either well formally. They have spoken once over skype, but it was a group chat with her husband my FI and then me and my mom on the other side. My mom was going to try and come to Europe the last time I was there and I was so scared of how they would mix. I am dealing with nearly the same problem, but my FMIL is the snobby one. My mother is the very religous one and my FMIL is not, but she is a very posh snobby lady. I'm afraid of what she might say about my mom after.

    Good Luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    Idk, my mom has only meet fmil maybe 4x over the past 7.5 yrs. My mom can get possesive of me cause I'm the oldest and only girl so I know dressing shopping is a NO NO including FMIL. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Let us know how the shopping turns out!


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  • prncszprncsz member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp you should probably warn FMIL so she won't take what your mom says to heart and shopping is the best way to have them meet. Everybody loves shopping and they'll get to have a nice comfortable environment to chit chat while you are trying on dresses.
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  • edited December 2011
    MMMMM....M1ssJ  I dont know if dress shopping would be the right occassion, based upon what you've shared... I would do maybe a luncheon, pre-bridal shower something, something or just suggest a lunch or dinner for the first meeting... That dress shopping thing is already anxiety ridden... and for two outspoken people to meet for the very first time... mmmmm  I say.... Not so much.... JMHO... Let us know what you decide. 
  • M1ssJM1ssJ member
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone. I had a LONG talk with my mom and told her flat out that I would be bringing FMIL dress shopping. She actually took it well and we decided to make little day of it with lunch and dress shopping.

    Cross your fingers for me and thanks for the advice.
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