African American Weddings

I have to give it to yall celibate folks

I was thinking about the ladies on this board who have chosen to refrain from sex until marriage. There are quite a few of you all. I think it is wonderful that you all have decided to wait and I definitely tip my hat to the fellas who are refraining too. I was thinking about bringing this up to my FI, but I know he would laugh in my face and we wouldn't last a week. I am curious how you all came to the decision to refrain if you don't mind sharing. 
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Re: I have to give it to yall celibate folks

  • I gotta hear these responses, me and FI danced around that too!
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  • In Response to Re:I have to give it to yall celibate folks:[QUOTE]I gotta hear these responses, me and FI danced around that too! Posted by MissusD1116[/QUOTE]

    This...everytime I mention it to FI..he say yea..right..ok...then 2 mins later he say so I'm gettin that tonight right ?! Lol
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  • rowenac82rowenac82 member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_i-have-to-give-it-to-yall-celibate-folks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:6e27e6bf-9906-4dfd-9754-46f383c2284bPost:d7713c53-469a-4206-b4ad-e959c334ca4c">Re:I have to give it to yall celibate folks</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I have to give it to yall celibate folks: This...<strong>everytime I mention it to FI..he say yea..right..ok...then 2 mins later he say so I'm gettin that tonight right ?! Lol</strong>
    Posted by msbdumas[/QUOTE]

    <div>This! LOL...I think it would have been easier if we didn't live together but we were long distance for 4 yrs until last year and it almost felt like we were celibate.</div><div>
    </div><div>Thanks for posting this I have always wanted to give the waiting brides props!</div>
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  • I am also curious to the upcoming responses. I ran the issue by FI as well and he said he doesn't think I can do it... He's right Wink
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  • I think if we didnt stay together it wouldn't be so bad.....let me stop lying!!!! LOL! When we didn't stay together, there was no chance!
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  • Ok let me preface this with I'm just a baby waiting bride. We decided to make this commitment when we hit 99 days. We both knew for a long time that we should be celibate but I justified it by saying "cutting back" was good enough and he was fine with that too. When we moved in together we decided we would not occupy the same room until we were married. My friends and family that actually knew (because everybody doesn't need to know my house business) ridiculed us and said that wouldn't last and it's stupid. Not sure how convinced our parents were either. Again, we were trying to justify living together. It does help in the cutting back and almost 4 years later we still don't share a room yet! That is something I am looking forward too!

    So a few weeks ago we were just talking about how we are ready to move to the next level in so many areas of our lives but we just feel stuck and we just really want God to bless us. Well with the encouragment of many ladies on this board and through the urging of the Holy Spirit it was pulling at me that we need to give God our 100% because 99 won't do. Obedience is the best way to worship God and so with 99 days left I brought it up to FI that I felt the Spirit telling me He wanted 100% not just our "cutting back" aka 99%. He agreed whole heartedly and said we have tried before but failed. We committed that this time will be different.

    Again, I don't know how long others are waiting but I feel like mine is only a small time but I believe it's the mindset and spirit of obedience that will bring about our blessing.

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  • I have been wanting to ask this question myself. Hats off to y'all who do it.
  • Well, it isn't easy but it is possible. Our decision actually came before he even popped the question. Yes, we have a 3 yr old daughter & we were living our lives for quite a while giving reasons to justify premarital sex but all that changed last yr. Last yr, we finally gave our lives back to Christ, got baptized, & became dedicated to serving in a youth ministry. Things were great but I still felt bad & hypocritical because we were preaching to teens not to have sex before marriage but we were not following it. Nervously, I brought it up to him (figured if he really loved me, he would understand). He admitted he had the same feelings  and we came to the decision that we would walk away from sex and venture down that road once we were husband & wife. Now, I have to admit we were a long distance couple so that did help but the visits were always tough because all those pent up feelings we would have would always try to surface (luckily, we have had no "oops moments"). He's moved in now but we stay strong with our decision. I keep in prayer over it and as strange as it may sound, we don't even sleep in the bedroom (closed door=tempting thoughts/actions). Some people who do know about our celibacy, commend us but there are some who don't understand or think it's redundant because we already have a child. The negative reactions used to bother me but now I don't care because God's opinion is the only one that matters to us. I'll say it loud, "I'm celibate & proud!" lol

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  • Yes please share....everytime FI and I are in church and the pastor brings up sex...he always says if you want to have sex get married...and I look at FI like hmmmm. He tells me we won't even have the conversation in church. But we talked about it afterwards and he was just like ummmmmmm....don't think so....so here lately I have been playing that tired role and going my butt to sleep all early

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_i-have-to-give-it-to-yall-celibate-folks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:6e27e6bf-9906-4dfd-9754-46f383c2284bPost:1a2df26a-4fc8-4354-baea-db80842bc951">I have to give it to yall celibate folks</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was thinking about the ladies on this board who have chosen to refrain from sex until marriage. There are quite a few of you all. I think it is wonderful that you all have decided to wait and I definitely tip my hat to the fellas who are refraining too.<strong> I was thinking about bringing this up to my FI, but I know he would laugh in my face and we wouldn't last a week. </strong>I am curious how you all came to the decision to refrain if you don't mind sharing. 
    Posted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>LMAO. We've had conversations about it but never really followed through for any reasonable length of time :(

    </div>
  • Thanks for the feedback. I am going to bring up the subject. I know we tried to abstain for Lent one time. We failed lol. I think I would like to do 60 days up to the wedding. I can see it now. My FI is trying the Akins diet now. He is going to be like, "no carbs and no sex oh hell no." LOL
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_i-have-to-give-it-to-yall-celibate-folks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:6e27e6bf-9906-4dfd-9754-46f383c2284bPost:e0276a62-af8f-45d4-88dd-a88f3ca4441a">Re: I have to give it to yall celibate folks</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the feedback. I am going to bring up the subject. I know we tried to abstain for Lent one time. We failed lol. I think I would like to do 60 days up to the wedding. I can see it now. My FI is trying the Akins diet now. He is going to be like, <strong>"no carbs and no sex oh hell no." LOL</strong>
    Posted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]

    <div>U make me laugh!!! Now you're going to make me have to try it too... Everytime we bring it up FI says, "now you know I'm the one with the willpower..." Yeah, that lasts for about two days... </div>
  • Im a "waiting bride"  But, Im waiting on him, not the other way.  We've had a few "slip ups" in the first year but have been >2yrs now celebate.  Its his commitment to Christ and my respect for him.  I'm a follower of Christ aswell but, not as strong in this dept.  I love him so much I'd never want to be what puts space between him and God.
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  • My FI & I had decided in the beginning of our relationship to remain celibate. When I was 16 my parents sat down with me, gave me a "purity ring" and told me how important it is to wait until God sends me the right one. Yes it's been tough, especially when I know that my FI is the man that I have been waiting for. But we're only three months away from our "I do's" and we thought that a good way to stay out of trouble would be to give my parents back my promise ring on our wedding day. (And I don't want to be lying in front of our pastors LOL)

    Hope this helps!
  • msT2mrsHmsT2mrsH member
    First Comment
    edited June 2012
    We are waiting 92 days, 6 hours, 33 seconds... lol! We were both celibate when we started dating and wanted to maintain during our relationship.Both of us are Christians and want to honor God by waiting until wedding night it's going down honey! it hasn't been easy and it's been days where we have both said its hot you got to go! Now that we are so close to the date we've really been careful with late night wedding planning at both of our houses and tried to keep doing as many couple dates as possible. We aren't virgins and definitely not perfect but please be encouraged that it can be done. Even those of you that are putting it on lock till the big day, you can make it. And than put it on him like never before after the wedding!
    ~ "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." Wedding Countdown Ticker Follow Me on Pinterest
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