African American Weddings

Just had my 1st bridezilla moment...

In my defense it was not my fault and I tried to hold it in.  I am sitting at home minding my own business and in comes FI mom, dad, sisters, and a few folks I had no idea who the hell they were.  Now anybody that knows me will tell you I go to bed early. Here I am hair wrapped, pajamas on, no makeup with a house full of people who just showed up. I am mad but what can I do....

So they start talking about the wedding. About how we should use this caterer and that baker. How the rehearsal dinner was gonna be at this person's house and even had to nerve to tell me where we should be honeymooning. When I tried to tell them what we had alreay planned his mom told me honey we got this. I sat through them telling me what my wedding day should be until his sister told me I should really drop at least 50 pounds to look good in my dress.  I am the type when I get angry I cry. I felt the tears coming and I do believe I blacked out.  Cause I told everybody to get th hell out of my house and do not come back. I told them this is our day and I will not have them make me feel like I am not a part of it.  Of course FI is mad at me for putting his family out, but there is no way I should feel disrespected in my own house.

Re: Just had my 1st bridezilla moment...

  • edited December 2011
    Please tell me they didnt go there?!?!? He was wrong for not calling and letting you know that his folks were coming and then to tell them to shut the heck up. Girl you betta than me, i will toss that arse out a window and not feel bad. Tell him to check his people or we are gonna come and check em for you! Mad hugs to you(is today National FI act like an idiot day?)....
  • edited December 2011
    WOW...They have some nerves! I would have done the same thang.....
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  • edited December 2011
    Umm...yea FI's sister would be uninvited after question.

  • sadou02sadou02 member
    edited December 2011
    I can understand your frustration but woooooh! IMO, kicking them out might have gone a bit too far.  His sister was rude for telling you that you should lose 50lbs and his mother should have been asking what you thought about some of their ideas rather than tell you "we got this". But it doesnt really justify yelling at them and kicking them out.  Take a second and think what FI might be thinking about you at this point in time with that action? He may also be thinking 'will this get worse?' (if this is the first time youve lashed out in front of him like that). 
    I just feel it could have gone a different route.

    Just my honest opinion.  No need to tick soon to be in-laws, it will just leave a sour taste in their mouth.  They may be the first to tell you how and what you should do things for your wedding but trust they wont be the last.
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  • edited December 2011
    Girl the fact that you didn't hit your FI sister you have more willpower than me.  Knottie Hugs for you. Yeah FI should have called to make to let you know and then he should have checked his family when they started telling you how your day should go and he should have SUPER checked his sister for saying what she said. Your Knottie Sisters have your back let us know if we need to do a road trip.
  • edited December 2011
    Girl i had my FI what you posted and he told me that if his sister said something like that to me, he would have throat kicked her out of the house instead of bailing me out of jail.... some people just need to be quiet and keep their comments to themselves...
  • edited December 2011
    Wow...I hate that everything happened the way that it did. It's not good for anyone. I know that personally, I would have dealt a little differently, but you aren't me so all I can say is that I am glad it didn't go to blows when she mentioned your weight. That was out of line. You and FI should have a heart to heart...I'm sure valid points will be made on both ends. Wait until you are calmer. Don't let them steal your joy. Just pray and move past it. After talking with FI, a talk with them MAY be in it by ear. *knottie hug*
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  • edited December 2011
    I think you are justified in your bridezilla moment! Just make sure to make it right It is important that you guys set some boundaries so that these things are understand and people don't have to get kicked out. But I suppose you set that boundary when you kicked them

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  • edited December 2011
    I totally understand how you feel and support your actions. Although when you look back at the situation later, you may wish you would've responded differently. But guess what? When people offend you & in YOUR house, sometimes it causes a quick & unpleasant reaction. With all the stress of wedding planning & everybody telling you how to do this & not to do that, it can get outta control. I literally just had an episode like that with FI's sister an hour ago.

    At the end of the day, its you & FI wedding and you two make the decisions. Your FI needs to nip that in the bud with them. They need to learn to respect you. One may not like or care for certain in-laws, but there should be some level of respect that goes both ways. You call it bridezilla moment...I call it setting the tone and not putting up with BS.

    I think I just vented a little Hope ya'll work through it.
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  • edited December 2011
    I would've blacked out and woke up next week Snapped episode. There would have been bodies all over the place.Wink You did the right thing!

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  • TNMurrayTNMurray member
    edited December 2011
    Sit down with you fi and tell im to handle it. You won't be disrespected in your own house. If he won't stand up to is his sister and mother when they are disrespecting you, you have waaay bigger issues to worry about. This problem isn't with you and the inlaws, its with you and your fi. He needs to keep his family in check. Good Luck. Knottie hugs your way.
  • edited December 2011
    you had a right to be a Zilla...hugs for you.   People say the nasties things, hoping FI will come around to seeing that his family was out of line.
  • edited December 2011
    Girl yes you are justified in your actions hon. First of all it's your wedding and nobody else's and NO they don't got this. YOU GOT IT!! People kill me trying to run ishhhhh. I have learned to stop answering peoples questions and give them a very blunt and basic answer so they get the hint. If they don't get the hint I quickly direct their attention to it. My day my way now questions asked after that.

    I would apologize to FI and just explain your position and offer to apologize for kicking out the fam but they need to offer theirs too.
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