I am 100% done with my FI’s parents. I think they are trying on purpose to make me live through hell. To my face they are the nicest people (well too my face when they are speaking English). As soon as I am gone they go off on every part of me that they can pick out at the moment. They could care less that their son is happy with me. I’ve tried my best to be the adult and let it go, but I am now at my breaking point. They have ruined a pretty alright day for me. My FI is back home in Belgium and I knew he was having dinner with them and when it got to be 10pm his time and I had not heard from him I knew something was up with them. He had written them a letter this weekend finally standing up to them and I knew at some point this week he was going to give it to them. Well they apparently started before he could even give them the letter.
Forever they have been saying that I will be a horrible wife. According to them I can’t clean, when the fact is when I was in Belgium living with him I kept his place beautiful and he never had to lift a finger. Then I am fat, which I’m like duh I know this I look in the mirror everyday. I guess that they don’t like that he loves me the way I am. They act like I am not trying to lose weight when I am on Weight Watchers and putting a ton of effort forward. I am not losing weight for them either, but for me because I have a bad family history that has led to death. Also I want to be at my healthiest when he and I decide to have children. Next they say I am not trying to be apart of their culture. They act like I can wake up in the morning and automatically be acclimated to everything they do. For the Belgian society his parents are stuck up and posh because I have Belgian friends who say that his parents are crazy in their opinions of how I should dress and act. This coming year in college, my last year, I am taking French classes which I do not need to graduate and are 5 units wasted of my time and I have to buy the expensive books and that is all for them and they say I am not trying. They act like it is easy to walk into another culture in another country and fit right in. I was scared out of my mind living there in another culture without anyone I knew around me besides my FI.
They laid into him today about me and of course he told me. I am to the point where I don’t want to have to deal with them. I am going to Belgium next month for a few weeks and I told him if I don’t have to I will not be going to their house or spending time with them. I really don’t want to get to the point where I will go off on them. He says I should spend more alone time with them, but I really don’t think at this point it is a good idea because I am past tolerating them and I really don’t want to do anything I will regret. I am the kindest person around, but if you cross me too many times I will finally snap.
A couple weeks ago his mother told him that we can be together forever, but we don’t need to get married. His parents have been married for 40 years, but they are encouraging him to not get married. I told him that in that statement from his mother I feel that in that 40 years she and his father are not happy. I think they are trying to tell him that they don’t want him to make the same mistake they did, but without saying they made a mistake.
I told him today I am over them and they are always invited to the wedding. If they choose to come they will still be allowed to be involved and they will be welcome with open arms, but as soon as they start anything I will have them escorted to their hotel and they can deal with getting to the airport and back to Belgium on their own. I am 100% done. I have been the nicest girl to them since he and I were barely dating. I want to have a close family setting with them, but as long as they want to make me miserable I will not deal with them.
"Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"
Janae & Olivier
