Need Advice

MsAmeera25

Sooo I have 7 BM's and 3 of them are my cousins...the thing is I only really wanted to ask 1 cousin but they are sisters and didn't want the other two to feel left out...so originally I figured we grew up together so why not....I asked all 3...
Moving forward, two of my cousins diidn't show up to my eparty after telling me they were coming....one said she had to work and the other ignored me after say she was coming....she also ignored my calls and texts and deleted me from facebook.....so I decided she was unreliable and cut her from my bridal party.
Am I wrong for cutting her...and should I also cut the other one too?
They could have easily come with their sister or called or something and did neither. I found out the other BM had to work through her sister that came.....so I feel like my other BMs are reliable and will not cause ay stress so I rather have them there....my fiancee says i'm mean for uninviting her. 

chescam

Question before I answer, are you univiting them or just cutting them from the bridal party?

2010Bride2be

If you decide to kick them out of your bridal party and/or uninvite them to the wedding, be prepared to sever the relationship for good. I was ready to do this to one bridesmaid and luckily I didn't. It would have been a MASSIVE mistake.

You have some time to go before your wedding. Before making a big decision, perhaps you should try and catch up with these girls and find out what is going on in their lives. You may find that they have other issues which take precedent over your wedding right now.

MsAmeera25

Just not have her as a BM, I would still invite her to the wedding

simbidi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_need-advice-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:947fd908-9a05-425a-b042-2f2a928ff478Post:8f50eda7-5e36-4612-9682-0799e6211171">Re: Need Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]If you decide to kick them out of your bridal party and/or uninvite them to the wedding, <strong>be prepared to sever the relationship for good.</strong> I was ready to do this to one bridesmaid and luckily I didn't.<strong> It would have been a MASSIVE mistake.</strong> You have some time to go before your wedding. Before making a big decision, perhaps you should try and catch up with these girls and find out what is going on in their lives. You may find that they have other issues which take precedent over your wedding right now.
Posted by 2010Bride2be[/QUOTE]

<div>Unfortunately, this is true.  You will hear girls on other boards say that a BM's only obligation is to get the dress and show up on the wedding day.  This is sad, but true.  Everything else is a voluntary extra (parties, showers, "feeling the love" etc.).  This is why it's not a good idea to choose a WP too far out and why you should never make the selection out of a sense of obligation.</div><div>
</div><div>As much as we all want our wedding to be all about us, people do have things going on in their lives, too.  She should have communicated better with you, so that was rude on her part.  Nevertheless, what's done is done.  This is your cousin, and I can only assume you care about your relationship with her.  I would try to have a talk with her.  If she is resistant, the damage may already be done.  Perhaps she will come around in time. </div><div>
</div><div>Good luck.</div>

chescam

I went through this too ie. wanting to cut out a bridesmaid. If I could have a do over, I would have picked my bridesmaids at the 5 month mark. I know that the girls I picked are very busy so the only thing they're responsible for is getting their dress. I had mentally cut one bridesmaid but decided to send her one last text message after she had been ignoring my calls and emails. I simply asked her if she purchased her dress and if she still planned on coming to the wedding. I got a phone call from her with her answer. 

I know you're upset right now but give them the chance to back out on their own. I wouldn't cut any of the girls though until ordering the bridesmaid dress ordeal is over since that would be one thing for sure they should be responsible for. 

EsquireJL

Two of my bridesmaids are cousins. All they are doing is buying the dress and showing up. My mom is taking care of all of the typical bridesmaid stuff.