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Bad news

My uncle (dad's brother) went to the hospital a few days ago with stomach pain. They have since determined it is panceratic cancer. My family has been in and out of the hospital; everyone is in shock. He is just 58 and had no symptoms of being sick. He did lose a lot of weight, but he had gastric bypass a few years ago and just never stopped losing weight so it was always attributed to that.

They were originally thinking they were going to do surgery to remove the tumor. There is only one surgeon in NJ who does the procedure he needed, so he was moved to a different hospital. The surgeon determined yesterday that the tumor is too far gone to remove. They did a biopsy today to determine the staging and it's likely they will do chemo just to try to keep it spreading.

I really don't know what to hope for. I don't want him to suffer, but I don't want anything to happen to him either. I want him to be able to come to my wedding, but I don't know if he will be able to. I feel guilty thinking about the wedding at a time like this, but I also don't really have a choice with it <4 weeks away. It's very tough right now.

Re: Bad news

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    edited December 2011
    Oh I am so sorry for what you are going through! I will have you in my thoughts...

    Do not feel guilty at all about thinking about the wedding... It is a big event in your life that you want him there for. I felt the same way when my Grandma got sick right before my college graduation - I so wanted her there, but felt guilty for feeling that way.

    Whatever you feel is ok. Are you able to spend some time with him?

    I will be thinking of you! Make sure to take care of yourself...
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    edited December 2011
    Oh no! I'm so sorry. I hope that something will be figured out so he wil be okay.
    Good luck and peace to your family!
    Steph and Brad 10-1-10

    "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken".
    See my bio!
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    edited December 2011

    My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family. What a horrible thing to have to go through around the holidays.

    Do not feel guilty about wanting him at your wedding. He is probably thinking the same thing. I agree with pp, go spend some time with him.

    Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.



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    alyssa324alyssa324 member
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    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry. What a hard thing to deal with at such a important time. I would feel the exact same way. Like pp said I bet he feels the same way too. So sad.  I hope some good news comes quickly.
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    edited December 2011
    I am really sorry Melissa.
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    edited December 2011
    Just spend as much time w/ him as you can! And if he can't make it, maybe have your family make a small photo album to bring to him of pics of your wedding for him to be able to enjoy. You'll be in my thoughts
    Married 7/17/2010 Photobucket PersonalMilestone
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry Melissa! *hugs* Like PPs, just continue to do what you've got to do and try to go out and see him and spend some time with him.  I'm sure he'll want to attend the wedding and will if he can, if he cannot, I like Brandy's idea and I might consider having a picture of you both holding a large sign saying something like "Hi, Uncle Bob!" or "Feel better soon, Uncle Bob!" if you think he might enjoy and appreciate the gesture?  Your uncle, you and your family will be in my thoughts.
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    MrsH8172010MrsH8172010 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I am soo sorry. It's so awful to have to go through that. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. : (
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    edited December 2011
    So sorry to hear that! I'm praying for you and your family.
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    edited December 2011
    So sorry to hear.  He and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.  I like Tygirl's idea with the personalized picture and Brandy's photoalbum. 
    Amanda & Joel
    10.10.10
    Planning bio: updated 05.11.10
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    edited December 2011
    What else can I say that hasn't been said by pps? I'm truly sorry, it's a lot of emotions to juggle because you don't want him to suffer or be in pain but you also want him around because you love him! Prayers for you and your family.
    Daisypath Vacation tickers
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    edited December 2011
    I like Tygirl's thought of you guys holding a sign. That would be extra special, or maybe a pic of you guys all toasting to him. You guys would have better ideas of what he would enjoy.
    Married 7/17/2010 Photobucket PersonalMilestone
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    dmw_2010dmw_2010 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry to hear this.  I hope you can spend some time with him.  I agree that you shouldn't feel guilty about thinking about the wedding - it's a HUGE event in your life, and it's only natural that you want him to be there.
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