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empegues

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mikimoto6

Glad to have you back.

Technically, you still have to send your STD declines an invite. They should decline the invite early if they still cannot attend so that you can invite someone else.  It is also possible that they could have a schedule change between now and your wedding. Since you sent them a STD, you are pretty much obligated to invite them.

I get that FI is bothered by his parents and that they are mad at him right now.  I think that you should still invite her to the wedding.  If they decline the invite, that is on them.  If you don't invite them, they will turn it around on you and make you the dirty dog for trying to keep them away from their son's wedding. 7 months from now she may be over this and expect to attend the wedding. I say invite them.

Carla1019

I agree with Mikimoto6.

7 months is a long time and people change. Even if they don't come around send out the invitation so they can not use it against you later. I feel for your FI. My parents have also said they are not coming to the wedding. It hurt at first but I draw strength from the scripture that says leave your father and mother and stick to your wife. I will always respect them but they have no power over me anymore.

ejagers

Empegues!  Welcome back!  Congrats on all the checks and I agree with pp.  You should probably invite them b/c you don't want them making you out to be the "bad person" in this situation. 

[Deleted User]

I have to agree with the pp.  You should definitely invite the parents.  Put the ball in their court, and just cross your fingers, and hope they don't show up!!  We all have some falling out with our parents and siblings, but more often than not, we mend those fences.  The old saying "blood is thicker than water" reins true.  Don't provide them with ammunition to use against you and FI.

hatroopes

Welcome back! Sorry to hear about all the drama, especially from his own parents - smh --- good thing you all have decided have put it behind you and not let it affect your happiness. 

ThunderKitten2011

Welcome back and congrats on the great checks! I have been through similiar drama with FI's family, but I did send them invites and left the ball in their court. Needless to say they all RSVP'd yes. (HA!) I also did not really talk about it with him. I know how hurt he is but happy that they are attending, this is one o fthose bullets I am biting because of my love for him. I feel like you, why would I want them there when I know that they are not supportive etc. The reason is my FI. I love him so I am willing to go ahead and try to be the bigger person for that day, because it isn't just about what I would like but what he would like also. Plus I feel like c'mon to the celebration but please know there will be no drama (my DOC plays no games), they can show up, sit down, and shut up as far as I am concerned. So invite them, put the ball in their court and Pray, Prepare and Proceed! Your day is going to be fabulous no matter who shows up!

mikimoto6

We don't think you are evil at all. We are suggesting that you still invite them because it is the mature thing to do. If they choose to be childish and not support their son, then you know you did the right thing.  

djscat

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_back-wrecked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:a1456b4a-643e-4398-9081-fcc0eb89d14dPost:6eaf0695-276d-41da-890a-0ca28bdd2904">Re: Back to get wrecked...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not sure who said that weddings bring out the crazy in people, but it's so true.  I've left the decision up to FI on whether or not to invite them up until yesterday - when they decided to tell us that they weren't coming because they'd rather be down with his ex.  FI was on 10 and said himself that his parents were fresh out of luck (he's such a non-confrontational person, that for him to have said that speaks volumes).  So I don't want you guys to think I'm the evil bridezilla un-inviting people! lol.  To be honest, they can kick rocks. <strong> If FI changes his mind and wants them there, then I suppose they can come. </strong> But if it's left up to me they can spend our wedding weekend back home with his no job-having ex and her crackhead woman-beating boyfriend.  
Posted by empegues[/QUOTE]

I hear you on not wanting to invite them.  It's hard to sit by an watch someone hurt someone you love.  I can tell you no one on here thinks you are evil.  Saying all that I say leave the final decision to invite or not invite his parents up to FI.  This should be his choice up until the day of the wedding.  You don't want to put yourself in a situation where at some point in the future he can say you didn't invite my parents to the wedding.  Even if he was on board with the decision at the time.  I can see the relationship between FI and his parents has been sticky for a while.  Stay out of it.  Be supportive of FI but when it comes to his parents let him make all the final decisions. 

Congrats on all the checks and welcome back.