vent!

rowenac82

This is a minor vent..hence no caps in the headline :-) 

I had a post a while back about my matron and how she has taken total control over my Bridal shower. She isn't including any of the other BMs. I knew from the jump that she was a total control freak but I figure that she would at least "inform" the girls of her plans. My maid and other BMs are planning the bachelorette, so it doesn't seem to bother them that they aren't included in the shower planning. Besides, the shower is in NY and most of them are more than likely unable to make it. OK, left alone. 

So this is sort of a two part vent. 

Keeping in mind that my matron who is my cousin is a total control freak. She has even left my sister out of the planning. My sister lives in NY and is an event planner, so she is not taking it lightly that she is not included in the planning. My sister and cuz do not get along so I almost prefer that they not plan the shower together. 

Last night, sister texts me, "Your bridal shower is at Aunty so and so's house". I was like, ok, are you asking or telling me. I said I don't know anything about my shower, you would have to ask matron/cousin. I just know the date, I don't even know the time.  She responds, well, I was asking but I guess I also just told you...what!?!? What is that suppose to mean. 

So I could only imagine, she somehow found out where my shower was and decided to share that information with me to prevent my cousin from having a true surprise shower. I say to this, Ok whatever sis do you. 

But now in knowing where the shower is, this comes as a surprise. I assumed it would be in Bklyn but my aunt lives in Long Island. This got me thinking why would you have the shower all the way out in Long Island when 90% of the people live in Bklyn. And 80% of those people usually depend on public transportation. Especially FI's family. So now, not only are they going to be saying we are having the wedding all the way out in AZ now I am going to have to be dealing with complaints that the shower is all the way out in Long Island. 

I guess no matter what you can't please everyone but I wasn't really expecting this. 

[Deleted User]

ro the ladies who attend your shower will understand that it's not your doing and not in your control.  it's not supposed to be.   the complainers will, what? say it with me....thas right complain but for the most part, they've done this a time or 3, between carpools and all the parts of the island that LIRR cover, they'll be okay.  

it sounds like your sis feels a way about it though, true or no?  maybe that's about distance or not being involved.   I gave the sideye to cousin not involving a party planner in planning a party.   mmkay.

rowenac82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_vent-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:a147ea81-95a9-4cc3-9f5c-a331e0c77569Post:e455f7a2-27b9-4d0c-b9b5-cbead089cd03">Re: vent!</a>:
[QUOTE]ro the ladies who attend your shower will understand that it's not your doing and not in your control.  it's not supposed to be.   the complainers will, what? say it with me....thas right complain but for the most part, they've done this a time or 3, between carpools and all the parts of the island that LIRR cover, they'll be okay.   it sounds like your sis feels a way about it though, true or no?  maybe that's about distance or not being involved.   I gave the sideye to cousin not involving a party planner in planning a party.   mmkay.
Posted by sultryzulu[/QUOTE]

<div>Yea you're right, those who want to be there will find a way. Just like the wedding. </div><div>
</div><div>And you are right about my cousin BUT..you'll get a kicker out of this one. My cousin's sister is ALSO a wedding planner. Problem is we have too many caterers and planners in our family. So whenever there is an event, it's like, lets see how we could outdo cousin so and so and aunty so and so's party <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-yell.gif" border="0" alt="Yell" title="Yell" /> FAMILY! gotta love em</div>

[Deleted User]

My cousin's sister is ALSO a wedding planner

stop the car Tito.  she STILL planned it by herself??   officially done.   girl this ain't even for you to worry about.

rowenac82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_vent-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:a147ea81-95a9-4cc3-9f5c-a331e0c77569Post:2e10e19c-2f8a-41ca-afe5-b38521e76872">Re: vent!</a>:
[QUOTE]My cousin's sister is ALSO a wedding planner stop the car Tito.  she STILL planned it by herself??   officially done.   girl this ain't even for you to worry about.
Posted by sultryzulu[/QUOTE]

<div>Actually I think her sister is involved. She never said that to me. But they are really close, so I am sure she had input. </div>

MrsBoss2012

Dont stress Ro. Like sultry said those who want to be there will be and either way no one will blame you for having it in Long Island. Isn't it awkward when the BP doesn't get along and you are in the middle! In dealing with it now so I definitely sympathize with you! But if your family throws great parties then sit back as enjoy your day!

tirathemrs

WOW dont u hate getting put in the middle of drama....and since your really dont have any control over the actual whereabouts and whatnot i wouldnt worry about it honey...just enjoy ur shower with whomever shows and the batchelorette party with whomever comes to that......feel for u honey

rowenac82

Thanks ladies, I guess the people pleaser in me just don't understand why people just can't get along and also why people don't think of others when making plans. We will see how this all plays out. I have never really been surprised before mostly because I always say I don't like surprises. But of course, I say that to cousin and it goes in one ear and out the other. At least the fact that I know it's suppose to be surprise, that I can deal with. Can't deal with the whole walk in the room had no idea what is about to happen surprise. 

mejai1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_vent-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:a147ea81-95a9-4cc3-9f5c-a331e0c77569Post:54fbd405-b209-4c2b-a402-f809cc053be1">Re: vent!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks ladies, <strong>I guess the people pleaser in me just don't understand why people just can't get along and also why people don't think of others when making plans. </strong>We will see how this all plays out. I have never really been surprised before mostly because I always say I don't like surprises. But of course, I say that to cousin and it goes in one ear and out the other. At least the fact that I know it's suppose to be surprise, that I can deal with. Can't deal with the whole walk in the room had no idea what is about to happen surprise. 
Posted by rowenac82[/QUOTE]

<div>I hear you on this. And you're right, this is a minor vent. It'll be cool and the complainers will have a good time at the shower too. </div><div>
</div><div>You're day's getting close!! :) </div>