African American Weddings
Options

Would you.....

get married now and not tell anyone, and then have the "wedding" and reception on the planned date?  Last night, my FI suggested that we go to our pastor and get married now and don't tell anyone, then proceed with our wedding plans.  He's soooo ready to move in and begin living as husband and wife!  I think it's so cute!  But I hope he really isn't serious.........we only have about 2 1/2 months left!
Anniversary Trying to Conceive Ticker

Re: Would you.....

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I've been thinking about doing the same thing - I think having a secret wedding date would be nice.
  • Options
    tyboydtyboyd member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I wanted to do that. But then I thought maybe it would be deceiving to our wedding guests... But IDK.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I would love it! It just seems like sexy and secretive or something...lol. I think I am going to ask my FI about this tonight and see what he says!


    Anniversary BabyFruit Ticker
  • Options
    edited December 2011

    I thought it was a romantic idea until I started thinking practically - especially about the tax implicatons.   One of the reasons why I chose January is because I wanted to start the year off with dealing with the marriage tax penalty (yes, it still exists...).  Also, I don't know if I would be able to keep it a secret!

    Anniversary Trying to Conceive Ticker
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I think that is very cute that your FI is sooo ready! But I think it could take away some of the tears & happiness that you guys show at the "real" wedding in front of your guest.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I thinks that's sweet! But I am a little confused because your getting married in 2 months...
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Yea, I was thinking about that too.... I think he was "inspired" to get married early because he came home (see, I'm saying it already - "he came home") and cooked dinner (he loves to cook), and he was just so happy when I walked through the door after work.  He saw how our life will be - and I must say it's pretty cool.

    We decided not to live together before we got married, but we notice that we're seeing each other more and more as the day approaches....
    Anniversary Trying to Conceive Ticker
  • Options
    edited December 2011

    Since you have 2 months left, I would just keep with my original date. I went to a wedding last September and come to find out(googling online) the couple was already married 7months prior. I felt deceived as a guest. The could've just said we had a personal ceremony but would like to celebrate later with all our friends and family. Not act like this is brand new. I wonder what date do they celebrate as the offical wedding date?



    Get your Pregnancy Tickers

    Baby Gender Predictor


  • Options
    edited December 2011
    if yall only have 2 months left, just go ahead and wait.  just like the PP started i would feel deceived as a guest to find out the wedding had already happened.  personally since yall are getting married in 2 months, why not go ahead in move in together?  just a question.  i know some folk don't approve of that though.

    my cousin and her husband did this.  they bought a house together.  her folks got so upset, they made them marry.  they did  the JOP route.  however they did have their ceremony about 6-7 months after like they scheduled.  however everyone knew what the situation was. 
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PPs, I think you should just wait since you only have 2 months.  If you get married now, will you move in together and live like you are married?  If so, people may catch on to what you are doing and may be upset that you are deceiving them.

    FI has suggested this too, but I'm so traditional and I'm not very good at deceiving people so we're going to do the real thing.


    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I agree too - the genuine feeling of walking down the aisle and meeting him at the altar will be missing. His reason for wanting to keep it a secret is because he knows that his mama would be truly hurt and disappointed if we did that.  He's the oldest and her "miracle child" because she was told she wouldn't have any kids. (Note I said oldest - she actually had three.) I guess he's getting excited and impatient..which is a good thing I guess.

    As far as not living together - we both did it in past relationships and we decided that we didn't want to do it again; and it's something we really do not believe in doing prior to marriage.  Otherwise he'd been there about a year ago! (just kidding!). 
    Anniversary Trying to Conceive Ticker
  • Options
    cincy2011cincy2011 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_would-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:ad051b4f-dc88-41f1-96c4-dd4b75740f7aPost:a2786e3f-833f-40a4-a1aa-c41ecf8d8d5f">Re: Would you.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Since you have 2 months left, I would just keep with my original date.</strong> I went to a wedding last September and come to find out(googling online) the couple was already married 7months prior. I felt deceived as a guest. The could've just said we had a personal ceremony but would like to celebrate later with all our friends and family. Not act like this is brand new. I wonder what date do they celebrate as the offical wedding date?
    Posted by mahoganieyes[/QUOTE]

    Agreed - the 2 months will fly by! 
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Since its so close I agree, that you guys should stick it out. Your fi is so cute for saying that. :-)

    But I wouldnt really feel deceived as a guest. I still got to witness a beautiful ceremony. My cousin got married before her wedding And no one knew until the wedding day. No one cared, we still celebrated their union.
    Photobucket www.mywedding.com/malcolmandkiaforever http://aawbrides.weebly.com/
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards