African American Weddings

Snarky Maid of Honor....Really? (long vent, sorry)

Hello everyone,

My MOH has been my BFF since we were 15.  We're extremely close, always have been.  She is married, has been for about 4yrs now.  I've been engaged since March of this year.  We haven't talked as much as we used to, she's in school...I just had a baby.  Our schedules conflict.  So, when we do talk, of course its about the wedding.

I 've noticed that every time we talk, she asks 'so how does it feel to be engaged?'  I can understand maybe right after the engagement, but really....3 months later, you're still asking?  Is she hoping that the answer is different?  I don't know.

My fiance is involved with the wedding.  He helped with picking out colors, looking at invites etc...I told her the colors (raspberry and silver)....why did you choose those colors and I thought you always wanted purple and blah blah blah.  I said WE decided to change the colors.  Well, I know since we were little, purple was always your favorite color and why all of sudden, you're changing them...I'm like for real?  Its not that deep, so I don't understand the hostility.

As a joke, I texted her and my finance a picture of a ring that costs like $20,000 and I told my finance to 'make it happen', lol....She gets her panties in a bunch and calls me and says, 'why do you want another ring'.  I said, my fiance wants to get me another ring when we get married and that the ring he gave me, is just an engagement ring, I will be getting another one when we get married.  She goes on to give a history lesson about engagement rings and suggested that I keep the one that gave me.  I said, if he wants to get me a bigger and better ring, I will let him!  WTF is the big deal?

I asked when she was available to go with me to look at dresses, she never responded.  So, I don't know what her deal is, but she is starting to piss me off.  How should I handle her from now on?  Should I continue to have her as my MOH?
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Re: Snarky Maid of Honor....Really? (long vent, sorry)

  • Congrats on your engagement and welcome to the board.

    Sometimes it is hard to tell if someone is joking over text so I'm sure she thought she was giving you sound advice. I would stop talking about the wedding and just talk about every day regular things until you are closer to your date.

    You never now what she is going through right now with school and her family. Give her time. Sometimes us brides want to look at dresses a year in advance and our bridal party don't understand the rush.

    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • Yea I agree with Carla change the subject. This may help her loosen up a little. I wouldn't suggest replacing her just yet. Good luck!
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  • Ditto. Also, we have to be congnisant of who we put in our wedding party. My BFF since high school isn't even invited anymore and she was never in the WP (more so bc of her financial issues).  I had to realize that with my WP I was always talking wedding and none of them are married or close to except my Matron, so I leave the wedding talk to her (and one of my other BM when she asks...she just got married in April). Good luck!

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  • Hi and welcome to the board..
    I agree with the other ladies.. Also, everybody not always excited as you are about your wedding.. ( We are on this board...you can talk to us about anything) but me, I only talk about wedding if people ask me a question, regarding it... Just let things die down for a min... and then maybe have a girls day and hang with your bestie, and see what's going on with her..

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  • I agree with PP's. change the subject when you talk. She may be going thru some things and may not care to hear about your wedding every time you guys are on the phone.

    Try asking her about what's going on with her.. talk about life (outside of wedding plans).. and anything, and then see if her attitude changes.

    About the ring picture.. IMHO I wouldn't have texted her the pic to "see her reaction" or even as a joke especially if she had been showing signs of disinterest. It probably only made her go over the edge with her thinking.. and didn't do anything to help the situation.

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  • Thanks ladies - I will give the wedding talk a rest and see how she responds.
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