African American Weddings

I love my mom but I'm ready to choke her! (Vent...sorry it's a bit long!)

Sorry to unload all of this but I just have to get this off of my chest.  I love my mom dearly, but it's hard to disagree on wedding things because she and my dad are paying for the wedding.  I know the general rule is if you don't pay you get no say, but I'm sorry, at the end of the day it's about me and FI.

So today, my mom and wedding planner, Judy, went to the venue (ceremony and recpetion in the same place) because Judy still hasn't seen it and she wanted to do a walk through and see what the place looked like.

A little backstory on Judy...her and my mom have been friends for years (longer than I've been alive) and since her and my mom are such good friends she's doing her planning services for free.  That's great and everything, but Judy hasn't done a darn thing to help.  In the beginning, I asked her 3 different times if she could get me the names of DJs and videographers and she never did.  She's been a wedding planner for years mind you, so you would think that in all her years of wedding planning she would know lots of DJs and videographers.  So I ended up finding all of my vendors and doing all of the planning 100% by myself.  Which is fine because I still don't have a full-time job so I have nothing but time on my hands.  But even still, she's been no help...

So back to today, my mom and Judy met with the sales and catering director, Jody, (who I love!) and she took them through what the wedding day will be like.  Judy asked about the different dances that we'll be doing and asked why we weren't doing an anniversary or dollar dance.  Jody had to explain to my mom what the dollar dance and anniversary dance is, and my mom said, "oh that's so cute!  Let's add that to the itinerary!".  Then she proceeds to tell Jody that she also wants to add a slideshow dvd.  Ok first of all, WTH?!  Who the EFF said that I even wanted these things?!  I SPECIFICALLY DO NOT want a dollar or anniversary dance because I think they're cheesy and I don't want to force people to dance at all.  Plus, as a guest it's boring as all get out to sit and watch all of these dances and it gets boring.  I wouldn't have known about any of this stuff that they talked about if Jody hadn't emailed me telling me what all they talked about.  I was soooo pissed!  I told her to immediately take that off of the itinerary as we are NOT doing any of those dances.  
I called my mom and told her that she was not to add stuff without contacting me first.  I told her that FI and I also don't want to do a slideshow either because we think it's a bit corny, but I guess that whole thing was a supposed to be a surprise because it's something that my dad really wants to do.  Since this is something that he's dying to do I told her that that was ok and FI and I will just suck it up.

Sorry, I had to get all of that off my chest because I was not a happy camper!
On a good note, the venue wasn't originally going to let us have sparklers due to safety issues, but Judy talked them into letting us have them.  I'm getting married 4th of July weekend, so it fits perfectly!

Thanks for reading this long post!

Re: I love my mom but I'm ready to choke her! (Vent...sorry it's a bit long!)

  • tyboydtyboyd member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Mom and Judy are buggin! But thank God for Jody hitting you up!

    What is an anniversary dance?!
  • sadou02sadou02 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I know how youre feeling. My parents are paying for my wedding and I have to allow them to do certain things even though I may not want to.  Ive thrown my hands up and just said the wedding is for them and not me and FI. 

    Just give yourself a couple of woosah's and see if you can have a nice sitdown with your mom letting her know that though they are paying you have a vision in mind and would like to stick to that.

    {{{HUGS}}}
    image139 Made the list!
    image 107 Are ready to party!
    image 32 Will be missing out!
    image 0 Are getting on my nerves!
  • edited December 2011
    I can only imagine...


    Get your Pregnancy Tickers

    Baby Gender Predictor


  • hotrocker2011hotrocker2011 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_love-mom-but-im-ready-choke-her-ventsorry-its-bit-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:bb8ba10b-f2a4-49e4-b8e5-8d16fe290791Post:560e7bf9-cfc8-406c-bf68-229a85f5d576">Re: I love my mom but I'm ready to choke her! (Vent...sorry it's a bit long!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Mom and Judy are buggin! But thank God for Jody hitting you up! <strong>What is an anniversary dance?!</strong>
    Posted by tyboyd[/QUOTE]

    I have never heard of this either...
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • tyboydtyboyd member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    OH YEAH!!! I meant to say... DON'T CHOKE HER, CHILE!!! lol
  • edited December 2011
    Aww man....Mom & Judy are tag teaming! IBut its good that you told her no, regardless of who's paying. That would definitely drive me crazy. 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • edited December 2011
    If I'm not mistaken ladies an Anniversary dance I believe is when all the married couples are on the dance floor and the DJ announces I'm assuming the different years that couples have been married like 5, 10, 15, 20, 30 and so on until the last married couple is left on the dance floor that has been married the longest. I think that is what it is called but I may be wrong...LOL
  • edited December 2011
    Yea mama and Judy need to sit in a corner somewhere. mama and daddy may be paying put she can still have the respect of asking if you want those things added. So good looking out Jody!
  • bilss11bilss11 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm glad you were able to get your sparklers you wanted! I am experiencing a little something similar with people saying all of what they are doing but its actually me breaking my back to get things done! Things will be well worth it in the end for you though
    ~We're far from perfect, but he is my happily ever after~
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards