African American Weddings
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Question of the Day

How many times have you been a BM?  Was it a great experience or was the bride expecting a lot?  Did you help with any of the planning?
AAW June 2011 Siggy Challenge : "Daddy and Me"

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Wedding Planning Blog (Updated 10/18/10)

Re: Question of the Day

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    edited December 2011
    I have been a BM twice they were sisters. At the oldest sister's wedding everyting went lovely, I don't remember having to do alot at all...The youngest one got married everything went well with planning also I don't remember having to do alot there either until the Ceremony came and her fiance stood her up. The guests were there and eeeverything. Me and the other bridemaids had to explain to the guests that the wedding was off but for everyone to still stay and eat (everything had been paid for), the wedding and reception was all in the same place so we all ate and partied until it was over...me and the other bridemaids basically had to entertain the guests and it was over 100 people there...it was crazy! Don't you know she still ended up marrying him a few months later at the JOP and now they are divorced!
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    cincy2011cincy2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    I have been a BM three times (one of the times I was the MOH).  I didn't help a lot in terms of running around w/ the bride, etc. b/c all three times I was living in Atlanta and my friends were getting married in other states.  For two of the weddings (best friends) I contributed financially to their wedding - beyond a wedding gift - so that's how I helped them.  For the other friend, I was not supposed to be a BM but she kicked out her cousin a few months before and asked me to take her place - LOL!  So I didn't have to do much to help her except show up and look pretty!  :)
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    edited December 2011
    BM 3 times and hostess 3 times. One of the times I was a BM I helped her with quite a bit of the planning seeing as we planned her wedding in 6 months. But all have them were really easy going not asking alot.
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    edited December 2011
    I've been a BM once in my cousin's wedding about 5 yrs ago. I didn't have to do much at all. I just had to show up for rehearsal & the wedding day. I lived 3 hrs away & couldn't travel that much with my job. She didn't have a bridal shower or bachelorette party (kinda puzzles me now that I think about it). Good thing was she paid for all of our BM dresses, shoes, and jewelry. I don't remember any drama. Her husband was & still is an ass & very demanding, but a couple of us had to check him while in the limo. Other than that, everything was cool. 

    Btw....I was a flower girl when I was 6 yrs old. Just had to share.
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    edited December 2011
    I think I am up 6 with beng the MOH twice. I really dont recall doing much at all.  As such, I did not ask my BM to do much.
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    edited December 2011
    Once as MOH.  I didn't help much because I lived across the country from her and she planned her wedding in 20 days.  Day of was great except for having to get her in her gown and to the venue with a 3 and 4 year old in tow.  (her step daughter never came to pick them up from the hotel, but was at the ceremony WTH)  Overall it was a great experience for me to have 6 months before my wedding.  I now know where everyone is supposed to be and there are no kids invited.Kiss
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    sheshedukeshesheduke member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    BM 3 times and not demanding. I was only involved int eh Bridal showers for each of them and that was fine by me.
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    edited December 2011
    Never until now, #1- BM in my sisters wedding this August,in Vegas, venue pretty much doing everything. I picked out our shoes for the dresses she picked, im helping with bridal shower and Im baking the cake.
    #2- BM in my friends wedding this November in Vegas too,  2 weeks after our wedding. Helping with picking dresses shoes etc, this one is being held in a suite at the Palms so I will be helping setting up etc.
    Im trying not to stress and get my stuff done by the time my sister gets married. 1 dress already bought have yet to buy the one for Nov wedding. 3 weddings in 4mths is alot to take in!!
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    edited December 2011
    I have never been a BM. When I was 6 I was a Flower Girl. I don't remember too much except for getting antsy standing at the alter for so long. I also remember being so excited to ride in the limo since the whole wedding party was to ride from the ceremoney to the reception and then the Bride decided at the last minute that it would just be her and the groom. I was so sad, all the BMs had to find rides with guests to the reception, it was pretty wrong. That Bride, her daughter is one of my flower girls :) and she will get to ride in the limo.
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    edited December 2011
    @ BlissPhilly - OMG! I can't believe he would stand her up at the alter.
    If you change your mind at least let the other person know. How devastating!!


    I was 18 yrs old and a BM for a boss' daughter's wedding. One of her BM backed out at the last minute and they didn't want an uneven bridal party. I got paid overtime to be in that wedding. Sweeeeet!
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_question-of-day-90?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:bfb6771f-b2d3-48a0-9acc-55645f8671dfPost:72dde4a3-2dbb-44d7-982f-5f374ec1bdf3">Re: Question of the Day</a>:
    [QUOTE]@ BlissPhilly - OMG! I can't believe he would stand her up at the alter. If you change your mind at least let the other person know. How devastating!!
    Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

    Actually he stood her up before she got to the wedding. But there wasn't enough time to tell everyone...so we (BMs and GMs) went and waited at the venue hoping he would change his mind (aka cold feet) but he never did...when I got home she was in MY bed crying (she was my Best Friend at the time), her mom was with her...it was sad...
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    edited December 2011
    I have attended tons of weddings, but I've never been a bridesmaid. Aside from some of my line sisters and a high school friend, I was the first of my close friends to get married. I've been a flower girl before...lol.

    All of my friends are on the boo thing lately though so we'll see what the future has in store.
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    edited December 2011
    I was a BM once . and it was for my sister wedding and it was okay she wasn't overly demanding.
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    island07b2bisland07b2b member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have  been a BM once.  I had a nice experience.  The Bride was pretty laid back and didn't expect anything radical from the bridal party.   The only thing I had to deal with is the high heels she chose.  I wear heels once in awhile and when I do it is never that high (4 inches).  I thought I was going to break my ankles.  LOL!  As far as helping with planning, I helped her with finding vendors.  It was fun.



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