African American Weddings
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Guest List Blues

So I am on the brink of beginning to stress out about our guest list. We both have HUGE families and would love everyone to be there but financially it's costing $240 per couple to attend this wedding and my parents are paying for our venue so we all agree to the number 200. Well guess what my list is at right now? 134 and that doesn't even include his side. I know and fully understand that in order to be at 200 I need to invite 215-220 b/c there is that percentage of people that will not show up but let's be honest here THEY ALWAYS SHOW UP. Especially for a good meal and some liquor and for some the mere fact to come speculate at my wedding.

What to do, what to do? i've already cut my cousins off the list (the children of some of my aunts and other cousins) b/c they're younger (18-22) and realistically and sadly speaking although i might be judged for saying this...they won't even bring an envelope.

So now i have to make cuts! And I don't know where to begin. I now get why families get so touchy around wedding time b/c everyone wants to be included but everyone don't understand just how expensive it is.

Anyone have these issues?



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0 image Just won't be attending PERIOD
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Re: Guest List Blues

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    prncszprncsz member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah we are trying to keep ours to a max of 180 guests. My list alone is about 50 people and that's just my family members and a few of my friends, two or three co-workers. My fi has to start on his list and we are letting our parents provide a list of 30 people that they would like to invite. No people don't understand. I didn't understand until I started looking at the numbers and my 300 guest wedding quickly went out of the window.
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    edited December 2011
    Well I got my list from 150 to 134 so I think I am making some progress on eliminating the "fat" of the list. And all my parents keep saying is "make sure you invite people that are going to give you something" lol bless their hearts they really want to make sure that FI and I come out ok at the end of all of this.

    Wedding are expensive and the more i think about it, as long as it's you and him and your close family everything is perfect and beautiful just like that. I'm beginning to see the beauty of the simple things at this point and i am far from a simple girl.

    180 is a beautiful number....I really would be happy if 200 people showed up. Not too many not too big just perfect for us.

    272image Invited
    222image Accepted
    50image Can't Hang
    0 image Just won't be attending PERIOD
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    edited December 2011

    Have you and you fi sat down together and go over the guest?? Here are some things you might want to consider. Not allow children (besides the one's in the weddind) to attend, Also if your guest bring a date then your guest list will just about double. One thing that i'm doing is letting my guest know if they don't r.s.v.p they will not be included in the final head count. If they don't take the time to rsvp they more then likely won't show up any ways.















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    edited December 2011
    We totally went through the same thing.  We had to invite those who we really talk to - not just occasionally speak too. And for me, I had to limit most of my girlfriends to come solo.  That was really hard to do in some cases too.  But I only did it if there was a group of them and they all knew each other because it wouldn't be awkward because they would all sit together.  But if I had a friend who wouldn't know anyone - then I allowed them to bring a date, spouse, friend.  But for me alone I had one table of girlfriends I used to work at my part time job with, 2 tables of sorors - so right there that was 30 females - no dates - I couldn't even imagine having to pay for 30 extra people so they could have dates.  Because this didn't even include my family, other friends, coworkers, college friends (non-greek) or softball friends. 

    And DH had to do the same on his side as well. 

    But it worked out in the end - we were able to invite more people this way - and those that declined will allow you to invite others later if you so chose to.
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    edited December 2011
    I had the same issue, but it was resolved doing the following:

    1. No kids
    2. No "plus ones" unless you're in a serious relationship.
    3. We're having an intimate wedding at the main venue (100 people), then having a larger, less formal party a few weeks later.  This way, we can have the wedding we want without causing too many hard feelings.  The second party will be something similar to what you would have if you had a destination wedding on an island that few could come to.

    One thing I keep hearing from brides is that it is virtually impossible not to have hard feelings over your guest list.  Somebody, somewhere is gonna be pissed about something - it's just par for the course...
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    edited December 2011
    I feel your pain...I have no advice (sorry), but only because I need some too.
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