African American Weddings

Question.....JOP then big wedding celebration?

Hello Ladies!!

I have a question. Me and my fiance have been talking about getting "legally married" at the courthouse and have our "big wedding" in August. What do you guys feel about people who get married at the courthouse then almost a year later actually having the big one for the rest of your friends and family? We have already told our parents of our idea and they are truly supportive and eventhough we are going to a courthouse still demand that they be there to take part in that. Do you feel that us doing that takes away from the big celebration that we will be having a year from now?

Re: Question.....JOP then big wedding celebration?

  • edited December 2011
    I say if you have a reason for getting married before the ceremony then do it!!

    I would want to wait for the big day to build up all type of excitement but that is just me.
     But I say do it. I remember reading on some board another similar post where they respondents went in crazy hard on her for doing a civil ceremony and having a wedding. For us, we have been together for so long now we are just waiting for the day!! But I have thought a few times about just heading over the court!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Wait I think you mentioned that your Fi is in the military so I wonder would it be better financially or for your family if you go ahead and get married now. If so, do it!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • tyboydtyboyd member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I did that. Only we got married in our pastor's study in January, then had a VOW RENEWAL in May. {Hence the 2 pix in my siggy of my getting married. lol} I say go for it, if that's what you all want to do. Just make you the 2nd one is a vow renewal.
  • irons633irons633 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    @tyboyd thank you for the support. Yes I was looking at the pics ;) I just feel when you know that is what you want to do then as long as family knows who need to then it's all good. And I will make sure it's a vow renewal. @KsK2012 yes he is in the military and if we go ahead and get married now. Also, he would like to give me his GI Bill so I can finish school since he is not using it. But besides the benefits of that we love each other and we know that we want to be one since we do live together which at first didn't go over well with the folks. But we are still weighing the options of it. Oh yea, I did see that post where they went in on that girl and all she wanted was support not criticism. Thanks again ladies!
  • edited December 2011
    Nothing wrong with it at all. But please call it what it is, Vow Renewal. I think people get bent out of shape about this because you have people trying to have 2 weddings and actually call them both weddings, when the second is not. You're already married.

    Good luck with whichever you choose!
    [IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/3bvhh.jpg[/IMG]
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/ttb30a5.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • TNMurrayTNMurray member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am going to one ths weekend. I will tell you how I feel after. I know that I don't like the fact that they call it a wedding sometimes. Their ceremony this weekend is one year to the date of when they got married. I think if you use the proper language then it is fine. DON'T ask other boards this question or you will seriously get yelled at. 
  • irons633irons633 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks PP's! Yes I have seen what others have said. And for right now just a discussion me and him were having. But in the end our wedding day will be next year. But if before we will call it what it is properly.
  • edited December 2011

    Maybe I'm weird but I do not have a problem with people having separate legal and religious ceremonies. I also don't care what they call it either. Wedding/vow renewal/ broom jumping, etc...it's all good with me. I think celebrations of love are great and I don't get caught up in the minutia of semantics. Especially when a vow renewal for the most part involves all of the traditional trappings of a wedding anyway. I'm cheap and lazy so I'm only doing this once, but if others have the fortitude then by all means they should go for it.

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_questionjop-then-big-wedding-celebration-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:d761184a-8cce-4eab-8dbe-46afee34893cPost:9582a7a0-bb97-49e8-89cf-618fdf30b741">Re: Question.....JOP then big wedding celebration?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Maybe I'm weird but I do not have a problem with people having separate legal and religious ceremonies.</strong> I also don't care what they call it either. Wedding/vow renewal/ broom jumping, etc...it's all good with me. I think celebrations of love are great and I don't get caught up in the minutia of semantics. Especially when a vow renewal for the most part involves all of the traditional trappings of a wedding anyway. I'm cheap and lazy so I'm only doing this once, but if others have the fortitude then by all means they should go for it.
    Posted by winniethepiglet[/QUOTE]

    I'm the same way. Call it what you want and do what makes you happy. I will tell you the other PP's are right about not taking this to another board because they will go in on you. Good luck on whatever you chose!
    Until the first full year of being one! Anniversary
  • tychandlertychandler member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You have a PM
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • irons633irons633 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you ladies for the positive support and not making me feel crazy! ;)@tychandler ok
  • irons633irons633 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    tychandler you have a PM
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards