African American Weddings

SO NWR - This really happened to me tonight. I'm still stunned (extremely long)

Ok so now that I'm in school during the day full-time, I work in the evenings until just about the time Clint wakes up to go to work.  This works out great with taking care of my kids because one of us is always around. So tonight started off no differently except I got a few more calls from Clint some for fun, others not so much.  He eventually called to tell me Dorian had gotten into trouble.  It wasn't so bad so no big issue on my part.  30 minutes after the call about Dorian, Clint calls yet again.  This time he says we have a situation at home and I need to leave work.  So I'm like WTF now?  But the problem wasn't with my kids.  Apparently at that moment one of Olivia's friends had come to our house around 8:30pm crying saying her mom had beat her up and was threatening to beat the child so bad she would end up in the hospital.  So of course I have to leave work.  Meanwhile the 13 y/o girl has called her aunt (the mother's sister) and told her my address so she could come get her.  I'm only 5 minutes away but I'm still trying to rush home because now I have the child's drama and I also have some adult I don't know coming to my house to try to pick up a child that says she's been abused. (head spinning yet??)  Ok so I get home and try to find out the story.  In a nutshell what I was TOLD was that the child got in trouble at home for not keeping a clean room and it pissed the mom off.  Well some questions were asked of the child from the mom and the mom's boyfriend and it escalates from there because the child can’t answer the questions.   According to the little girl after the mom snapped, she pulled her hair and slapped her on the face a few times.  No real marks that I can see but her eyes are puffy and red and lots of crying.  So I'm like WTF do I do?  My dumb ass called the aunt (who's on the way) on my phone (MY DUMB ASS) to try to talk adult to adult because my family is involved because this child is in my house.  So I make my daughter and the 13 y/o stay in Olivia's room so she can calm down.  The aunt is on the phone with me telling me come hell or high water, she's coming into my house like it or not to get her niece.  By now my head is spinning because I DO NOT want the extra drama of this unknown person trying to come to my house AND folks in Duval are slap crazy. Now I'm just concerned because 1) I don't know if the aunt is just going to take the child back to her mom to get her ass kicked again 2) I don't know the family, especially not the aunt, well enough to open my door.  So I go back upstairs to talk to the child to see if this is just drama or what.  I asked the child was this something that happened a lot or just something her mom was mad about right now.  She said her mom kicks her ass pretty bad sometimes so I called the cops.  Now I'm like this is craziness!  Clint is finally out of the shower and done getting ready for work.  So he’s asking me what is going on with the situation. By now the aunt is at my door banging on it and Clint and I are like well the cops need to handle this because we really don't know what's on the other side of the door.  You know the cops are slow so I called my neighbor to get her to go to another unit where a cop lives to see what he can do about the aunt and situation.  The neighborhood cop tells me that if I don’t know the woman at my door that I don’t have to answer it.   Finally the cops (3 patrol cars) show up and I now have them in the house talking to the child.  The mom has shown up outside my house and is waiting with the aunt.  WTF!!!  The cops get the story from the mom and child separately and then walk the little girl outside to the mom.  Of course my nosy ass goes outside because hell this all happened in my house.  A little while later they release the girl to the aunt’s custody and tell me I did the right thing but it was basically a discipline issue.  Everyone leaves except the mom (I've met her once btw).  We talk for a long while.  Now I find out that the little girl got busted with a vibrator in her room and the mom was trying to find out what's going on with her daughter. The mom and the mom's boyfriend are just trying to handle the situation.  She seems to understand where I'm coming from not knowing their business and we talked a LONG time.  It all ends basically that the kid might have been overly dramatic and leaves out some critical details when she was talking to me.  So I'm looking back on it all and I'm like are you shitting me?   I can't believe that just happened.   I mean I am so not for DCF getting into someone’s business and taking kids away but what the F*** was I supposed to do with the info I had at the time?   Did I mention the 13 y/o’s mom is 28-29 y/o?  There are also 2 other kids in the home.

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Re: SO NWR - This really happened to me tonight. I'm still stunned (extremely long)

  • M1ssJM1ssJ member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You did the right thing! As a teacher I've been in these situations and its hard to separate when a teenage girl is being dramatic from when serious abuse can occur. There is no way in HECK you should've opened the door becuase it might've gone down in all types of ways, in the 904 especially!  You handled it pretty well , 2 snaps up for you.

    SN: 13 w/ a vibrator!!!!! I can't think what my momma would've done.Embarassed
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_nwr-this-really-happened-tonight-im-still-stunned-extremely-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:e78c3b94-6c6c-43bf-95a3-17ee3babec15Post:5f00855a-4e0d-4afb-81d9-fa41bf353f21">Re: SO NWR - This really happened to me tonight. I'm still stunned (extremely long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]You did the right thing! . There is no way in HECK you should've opened the door becuase it might've gone down in all types of ways, in the 904 especially!  You handled it pretty well , 2 snaps up for you. SN: 13 w/ a vibrator!!!!! I can't think what my momma would've done.
    Posted by M1ssJ[/QUOTE]

    Everything she said.  I wanna know where this 13 year old bought a vibrator cause that's not even right.  But yeah you did the right thing cause if she had been telling the truth and you had just opened the door and given her back to mom or aunt and something had happened then you could have gotten drawn into it too with DCF.
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  • amberlynnedamberlynned member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the PP. You did the right thing with the information you had at that time.

    Cheese & RIce!!! 13 with a vibrator???? 
    Sounds like this girl needs some counseling! At least it wasn't unprotected sex? 
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  • happe2getherhappe2gether member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Once the mom told me that part (about the vibrator), I felt like a heel.  I guess I had that look on my face.  She explained that the same aunt had once lived with them before and during that time the aunt sold Pure Romance, hence she had the goods.  So when the aunt moved, the aunt didn't realize something was missing from the box but mom eventually found out (sounds suspect to me) and fast forward to last night with all the drama.  I am so drained and tired right now!! In the end it was just a hard situation to deal with when you really don't know what to do.  

    The crazier part for me was that I had already heard some mind blowing news that was happening in the workplace and so to have to deal with this situation too was too much.
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  • edited December 2011
    You did the right thing. I'm sorry you had to go through so much bs, but at least things ended decently.

    So your daughter's name is Olivia? I love that name!
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  • edited December 2011

    What everybody else said... I agree.... You did everything RIGHT... With so much going on these days... sometimes it's just hard to tell... What if she really was being abused... and something would have really happened to her... Its just hard to tell... Atleast she had a mom that cares enough to pay attention to her and her room and those things that are going on with her.

  • happe2getherhappe2gether member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies!

    Yep! My one and only daughter is Olivia. She's something else too.  I'm just glad she's still more on the side of being a tween than a teen.
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