African American Weddings
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cash wedding gift

FI and I are browsing ideas for wedding gift. I don't want the gift registry at big stores because I am just too lazy to go around and scan items.LOL! We would prefer money so that we can decide later what we want to with but FI is concerned about the community reactions. Here we go again! It is always about what people are going to say!! Are any of you doing money for gift? If so, how did you phrase it so that people don't get offended?
Thanks for your suggestions!

Re: cash wedding gift

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    edited December 2011
    My cousin just got married in February, he and his wife didn't register so we figured they wanted money. When my aunt got married a couple years ago her husband had just gotten laid off from his job so other family members by word of mouth suggested it to everybody. Honestly I don't know of a good way to ask for money and not offend some people. Most likely they'll get the hint when you don't register though.
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    adgenyaadgenya member
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto PP. There is no good way to ask for money...or gifts for that matter. I'd just register online for a few items and use family to spread the word around if anyone asks.

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    amberlynnedamberlynned member
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    edited December 2011
    Thats REALLY difficult... In Indian culture, they often put "no boxed gifts please" on invitations so everyone brings cash in envelopes. I'm not sure how well it would be received in the AA culture, but in Indian culture it is almost expected.
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    MrsJJohnson2BMrsJJohnson2B member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm agree with pp, I think the best way is word of mouth. Express to close family how you too rather money than gifts and ask them to tell anyone who ask where your registered.

    Some people like to give gifts( they feel more personal) Maybe start a small registry, for things you want but you refuse to buy with your money
    Also you can do a registry online they have gift cards that you can add to your list. HTH keep me posted
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    tamtam7tamtam7 member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm not sure about this one.  I was actually a little uncomfortable asking for gifts on our wedding website, but that's probably the only other way to do it.  The best way is probably by word of mouth.
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with the PP the best way to do this is by word on mouth.  Also, you can register online without going to the store and you can even add the gift card amount you'll like.
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    mnm729mnm729 member
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    edited December 2011
    Agree with the PP as well.  You definitely should not put any references to gifts in your invitations.  Word of mouth is best.  I received 2 wedding invitations that requested $ and in both instances it rubbed me the wrong way. 

    I'm in a unique situation.  I'm in the DC area, my fiance is in MN, and we are not sure where we'll be after the wedding.  One of my Aunts called my Mom  to inform her that she would be telling everyone in our family to give me money because it's easiest to pack and move across country. 

    I've also heard that people buy gifts from the registry for the shower and engagement party and give cash for the wedding. 
    HTH
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    edited December 2011
    We registered for Visa gift cards and gift cards from major department stores...and that's exactly what we've been getting. I used a few of them yesterday for honeymoon shopping and didn't have to spend anything!
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    TINAMMTINAMM member
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    edited December 2011
    There is No good way to ask for Money as a gift, We did register at Macy's but I registered for such outlandish stuff I knew no on would buy them and just give us money(150$ coffee maker, 200$ crystal vases, 3000$ sterling siver flatware etc). I was not expecting ANYONE to buy that crazy stuff I registered for, and I did not expect the amount of monetary gifts we did recieve :) One couple friend of ours did buy us two things of the registry the coffee maker and a great super set of dishes I was so shocked when I got them, they were also only one of 4 local couples that came to the wedding. So everyone else giving money was great and they didnt have to worry about running around when they got here to get a gift on our registry or carry it on the plane with them. But we did not ask for any type of gifts nor did we really tell alot of people about our registry so they would just give us money.
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    edited December 2011
    I didn't see the need to go into the store when I could set my registries up online and browse that way.   Would that be an approach that would address your desire not to go to the store and address FI's desire not to ask for money?  Just another option.

    I heard of a wedding where the bride and groom indicated that they had a money wishing well or something like that, and explained that they are purchasing a home, and that in lieu of physical gifts, they would prefer monetary contributions to aid in that endeavor.  The takeaway is that, if you are saving for something big, then there might not be as much of a reaction anyway as everyone knows that you need $$ not a toaster, to buy a house or whatever.

    Since you are just referring to things around the house, maybe the online registry would be a good option that would for both of you.

    I think the idea that you can't tell people that you're registered in your invitation package or tell them that you would prefer monetary contributions is silly.  As long as it is done with class and the wording is nice and fluffy, I think that it is fine.  I wouldn't put it on the invitation itself but if you have a direction card or a hotel and transportation card, you can add a section for wedding registries.  For example, we had our invitations done custom by envelopements.com so we have an invitation, we have a hotel and transportation card and a directions card.  On the directions card, we also have a wedding registries section and it simply state: "the bride and groom are registered at the following stores:" (then it lists the stores and registry numbers).  The invitations are the most classy and elegant I have ever seen, complete with metallic paper and envelopes and hand calligraphy addressing.  I don't think that anyone is going to turn up their nose because we told people where we were registered instead of expecting all of my friends from around the country to somehow magically get my Mother's telephone number (most of them don't know her) and call her.  They don't have time and they all want to send a gift.  Therefore, why not just tell people what they already want to know anyway?

    So I would say, maybe have a one liner at the bottom of a card of your invitation package that says that you guys would cherish monetary gifts of love or the please, no boxed gifts idea of a pp.  Anything that is done with classy look and language will be fine.
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    prncszprncsz member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI has a friend that is getting married next month on their website they have that they are registered at one store I think bed bath & beyond and they have a link to the website. Above that they have this comment "In leau of presents you can also purchase gift cards from the following places or provide monetary gifts." They had a list of their favorite resturants, movie theatres, etc where people could purchase gift cards for them.
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    gatineaubridegatineaubride member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you all ladies for the suggestion! You are awesome! I like the idea of gift cards. I'll share with FI your comments and suggestions and we will make a decision.
    Merci beaucoup (meaning Thank you very much in French!)
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