African American Weddings
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Ugggggggggggh!!!!!! *frustrated vent*

If ONE more person asks us if they can bring a parent, friend, child, or new significant other (that we didn't know existed), I will scream! Loud! Really loud! I am sooooooo frustrated right now.

We can only seat 200 for a plated meal. Even with cutting out some of my family members, cutting out kids, and inviting his single fraternity brothers/ my single sorority sisters as a group (this is our norm), we still ended up with 215. We have enough declines to break even by the grace of God, but every day some d*mn body asks about bringing someone else. We made sure to invite spouses and I am not kidding at all when I say that EVERYONE we invited either knows at least a table full of people at the wedding. There are NO strangers.

They aren't contributing a penny, mind you, so why do they feel so entitled?!?!?!
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Re: Ugggggggggggh!!!!!! *frustrated vent*

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    edited December 2011
    Girl, next thing you know, they'll be sending their babysitter's cousin's dogsitter's drycleaner and a "plus 1" as a stand-in because they can't make it. I'm with you. People make me sick. Yell
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    edited December 2011
    I can understand your feelings! People keep thinking that a wedding is a family reunion and/or a huge party.. HELLO its a wedding so get with the program people. Dont ask ask me for a darn thing like adding somebody!! yeesh
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_ugggggggggggh-frustrated-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:fa994c0f-6c0f-4f0c-879a-604e79740016Post:b1f40a2c-a28e-44d2-b604-10edda52d424">Re: Ugggggggggggh!!!!!! *frustrated vent*</a>:
    [QUOTE]Girl, next thing you know, they'll be sending their babysitter's cousin's dogsitter's drycleaner and a "plus 1" as a stand-in because they can't make it. I'm with you. People make me sick.
    Posted by BlutifulScorpion[/QUOTE]

    I needed this laugh. Thank you so much! I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read it. I'm still smh at your mom's friend.


    @ Rodeo...so I'm not crazy in feeling like some people should just chill and be happy that THEY got invited.
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    hatroopeshatroopes member
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    edited December 2011
    The RSVP's are the thing I'm so not looking forward to...ugh! People just don't get it!!!
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_ugggggggggggh-frustrated-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:fa994c0f-6c0f-4f0c-879a-604e79740016Post:b1f40a2c-a28e-44d2-b604-10edda52d424">Re: Ugggggggggggh!!!!!! *frustrated vent*</a>:
    [QUOTE]Girl, next thing you know, they'll be sending their babysitter's cousin's dogsitter's drycleaner and a "plus 1" as a stand-in because they can't make it. I'm with you. People make me sick.
    Posted by BlutifulScorpion[/QUOTE]
    lol @ dogsitter's drycleaner.... too funny!
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    edited December 2011
    I know exactly how you feel!!  I have been getting so frustrated with this whole RSVP thing.  My RSVP date is this Friday and I haven't even gotten half of them back yet and it seems like every day at least one has added extra people to their RSVP and they ALL seem to be people FMIL invited!  @Eagles, at least people have been asking you if they can bring extra people, I opened one that was addressed to one guest and it came back and said 7 people are attending...7!  Really??  I don't know why people think weddings are free.
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    edited December 2011
    @eagles, so sorry your going thru this. Unless people actually plan and pay for a wedding they have no clue! like hatroopes wrote " I am not looking forward to this at all"
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_ugggggggggggh-frustrated-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:fa994c0f-6c0f-4f0c-879a-604e79740016Post:af1964ed-60c2-4e9a-96d3-30ecb40d34d1">Re: Ugggggggggggh!!!!!! *frustrated vent*</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know exactly how you feel!!  I have been getting so frustrated with this whole RSVP thing.  My RSVP date is this Friday and I haven't even gotten half of them back yet and it seems like every day at least one has added extra people to their RSVP and they ALL seem to be people FMIL invited!  @Eagles, at least people have been asking you if they can bring extra people, I opened one that was addressed to one guest and it came back and said 7 people are attending...7!  Really??  I don't know why people think weddings are free.
    Posted by chayb87[/QUOTE]

    7?!? Wow! That is crazy! I have gotten a little over 150 responses so I guess since my RSVP date was just today, it isn't a bad response rate. I expect to receive a few more as the week ends. I just don't want to feel obligated to fill seats or start giving in to plus one requests. I am fine with coming in under the expected number...that saves us money, after all. I get that we budgeted for more, but still.
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    edited December 2011
    Oh I would love to come in under, especially since FI and I are the ones paying for most of it.  I know I'll probably be calling people for their RSVPs, I would like to say just forget it, but I know there will be a lot of people thinking that they don't need to RSVP and just show up. 
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    edited December 2011
    WOW! You all are scaring me! I hope it all works out for both of you... I haven't even sent out invites yet and people are inviting themselves (i.e. my brother's ex-girlfriend's mother). I politely told them that they can come to the ceremony but the reception is family and close friends only. Surprisingly, that is going over well with people... at least it is for now.


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    edited December 2011
    @ Jess & hatroopes - They really don't get it at all. Hopefully, you both will have an easier time.

    @ ChayB87 - We are calling to just to be on the safe side, but know that I am kicking and screaming about it.
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    edited December 2011
    Do we have to call people though? I kind of like the idea of having an intimate and sexy reception...lol... and if they show up we would just have to tell them something...lol


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    edited December 2011
    I feel you "almost" date twin! My FMIL & I had a lil heated discussion about this Sunday. She stated that none of her family is going to come since they can't bring their kids under 13...GOOOOOOD more food, drinks, seats & favors for those who are willing to follow instructions! Not one single person has offered us a penny, yet the "you need to", "you should" & "why don't you" just keep rolling in! FI father also told him that one of his cousins will be returning her RSVP with 8 guests......8??? WHERE IN THE H*LL IS SHE GETTING 8 GUESTS FROM??!!
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    edited December 2011
    I hate people! That is all! ** Exit left**
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    edited December 2011
    sorry yall are going through this.  basically ladies you'll have to stand your ground.  we didn't have as many guests are yall, but we were working with limitations.

    we were in a neighborhood, so we had limited parking.  we were at someone else's home, so we had a capacity limit as well.  i meant no more than 100.  and by grace we ended up with about 85.  but we has all kinds of folk saying that they were coming.  some folk wouldn't call to rsvp.  i called folk and they wouldn't return the call.   DH's mother was trying to invite everyone from work!  i ended up not inviting some people i really wanted because his side kept increasing. 

    i'm still trying to figure out how someone can send an RSVP back for 8 people?!!  that's ridiculous.  in terms of that, they would have to choose 1 guest, come by themselves or not come at all. 
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    edited December 2011
    WOW, I'm so sorry you are going through this

    I am so scared for when the time comes because I think I will snap on someone if foolishness like that came up. People have to understand that weddings are not cheap! AT ALL
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    TNMurrayTNMurray member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    See, just when I think I will be nice and not write everyone's name on the rsvp, you guys snap me back to reality. I have my aunt who disowns me every other week tell me she is inviting ppl (I tell her that no single ppl have plus ones) then she looks at me like "OH" Then her daughter wants to invite a friend from NY. She said that he is only coming to the ceremony. Who is driving 2 hours only for a 15 minute ceremony. These people are crazy.
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    edited December 2011

    Sorry you are going through this. I am not looking forward to the RSVPs. I have an aunt that whenever there is a wedding she brings at least 3 car loads of people that were not invited. When my cousin got married there were about 20 people who did RSVP that they were trying to figue out how to seat them.

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    edited December 2011
    Oh goodness! I'm not ready for this rsvp trip. "Lord forgive me now for the feelings I may hurt in about 2 months".
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks Eagles!! you jixed me!! i just received a response card with a plus 1. no you can't bring your new boytoy when you aren't even divorced from your spouse.. what the hell is this woman thinking???
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_ugggggggggggh-frustrated-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:fa994c0f-6c0f-4f0c-879a-604e79740016Post:6702e7de-4351-4908-acf3-b8196e5337d2">Re: Ugggggggggggh!!!!!! *frustrated vent*</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks Eagles!! you jixed me!! i just received a response card with a plus 1. no you can't bring your new boytoy when you aren't even divorced from your spouse.. what the hell is this woman thinking???
    Posted by rodeo417[/QUOTE]

    Girl, STHU!!!!! OMG!!!!!

    I'm telling you, ladies...people make me sick!!!! As if the RSVP situation wasn't enough...why did my godsister ask me if I was getting her a corsage too?! For what, heifer?! I just said, "Well....if you want one...and you're paying for it."
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