African American Weddings

Breaking Etiquette

This is about invitation etiquette...We decided to approach the RSVP card situation a tad bit differently than normal in order to cut down on the unnecessary "can I bring" questions and the hot ghetto mess our families have been known to pull--- showing up with 10-15 uninvited people, as well let the "adult children" know they are also invited. We named everyone invited on the RSVP and put our wedding website at the bottom in an attempt to prevent write ins..(been lurking and reading for awhile)..
I keep reading that everyone over 18 gets their own invitation, my brain and pocket says..if you over 18 and still live at home you fall under their support system ...Therefore we decided that spending $5 or more per household to mail invites and stamp RSVP envelopes is just foolish and that money could be utilized elsewhere...Do you agree/disagree? Like everything in this world there are exception to the rules and we made adjustments for them..Ex...our nephew still lives at home to financially help his mother, he will get his own invite.

Kinda going off of the above; one family has an engaged daughter whose fiance we are inviting.  Anyway the question is would you send her a seperate invite which includes the fiance or just add him to the family invite?

Did anyone else break any "etiquette laws"? I'm curious

Thanks Ladies

Re: Breaking Etiquette

  • I would send the fiance a separate invitation. I am playing with idea of breaking etiquette. We may not have time for the calligrapher. So I am thinking about using those tacky labels.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_breaking-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:fbd7200d-a31e-472f-bfaf-6fa42db55983Post:6d841c6b-a31a-443b-8711-8575f3400ddb">Breaking Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is about invitation etiquette...We decided to approach the RSVP card situation  keep reading that  Anyway the question is would you send her a seperate invite which includes the fiance or just add him to the family invite? <strong>Did anyone else break any "etiquette laws"? I'm</strong> curious Thanks Ladies
    Posted by tcjames[/QUOTE]

    I sure did! One invitation per household. I'm sorry my invitations were scrolls and postage was $2 each. I don't care if there were 10 adults in one house, they got 1.

    I also wrote on the reception card (not invitation) that "We request only invited guests that have RSVP to attend the adult reception"...yes I did. No one can say that they didn't know little Jimmy is not invited.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_breaking-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:fbd7200d-a31e-472f-bfaf-6fa42db55983Post:f9506653-802a-4a34-b65b-b2d507cc22c0">Re: Breaking Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Breaking Etiquette : I sure did! One invitation per household. I'm sorry my invitations were scrolls and postage was $2 each. I don't care if there were 10 adults in one house, they got 1. I also wrote on the reception card (not invitation) that "<strong>We request only invited guests that have RSVP to attend the adult reception</strong>"...yes I did. No one can say that they didn't know little Jimmy is not invited.
    Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

    SAY THAT!!!!

    I haven't done my invites yet, but I'm sure I am bound to break some etiquette rules. As with the cousin, I would send her and fiance a separate invitation.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_breaking-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:fbd7200d-a31e-472f-bfaf-6fa42db55983Post:262f501e-ae5e-4457-8182-278e7a088bc5">Re: Breaking Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would send the fiance a separate invitation. I am playing with idea of breaking etiquette. We may not have time for the calligrapher. <strong>So I am thinking about using those tacky labels.
    </strong>Posted by Demea[/QUOTE]

    This!

    I will be using clear labels with a nice font....OH WELL! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />
  • In Response to Re:Breaking Etiquette:[QUOTE]I would send the fiance a separate invitation. I am playing with idea of breaking etiquette. We may not have time for the calligrapher. So I am thinking about using those tacky labels. Posted by Demea[/QUOTE]

    If you have a printer, you can print directly on the envelope. I used a nice font in Microsoft word. OP I sent one invite per household.
  • We sent one per household but if they were dating someone we sent it to the female of that couple since the males we know would lose it.

    Etiquette rules I broke:
    We did put adults only reception on the reception cards and .....wait for it.. we did do a tiered reception. We had a specific amount that we were allowed in the venue and since we were paying for it we wanted those seats filled. String me up on the etiquette board.
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  • M1ssJM1ssJ member
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    You live in one house you get one invite! I cant pay all the extra money and such. You are a guest of someone grown living in someone's house... I list you with them. One of my invites looks like so:

    Mr. & Mrs. John and Rachel Smith
    William Smith
    Joy Smith & Ricardo Suarez

    123 Booga Booga Avenue
    Miami, FL

    RSVP:

    5 seats have been reserved in your honor:

    ____ accept with pleasure /  _____decline with regret
    Indicate the invited guests who will be attending:
    M__________
    M_________
    M__________
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  • I also printed directly on the envelopes..Thanks ladies I knew it had to be a better way!!!
  • I plan to do the same as pp... It will be addressed to the person we know best and the guest name will also be listed ( instead of "and guest"). One invite per household, with the only exception being FIs sisters who live at home. Same goes for std and announcements. I plan on writing everything myself on the envelopes, but I'm not afraid to do clear labels. I might do something like Carla for RSVPs...family know they be trippin on this topic! At this point in my wedding planning, I would be in etiquette court or jail according to that board standards.
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  • Oooohhhhhhh I'm gonna tell the etiquette board on you ladies!!!! Yes I will be breaking some rules! One invite per household.
  • I'm totally breaking etiquette by saying 'Adults Only' on my invitations. If I stick to it and only name the people invited on the envelope, im about 100% sure that they will not get it and invite their children anyway.
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